Contingency planning.
By GV Rama Rao, 5th Feb 2012 | Follow this author
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A contingency, pleasant or harmful, may arise in our life. It would be prudent to be prepared to meet such contingencies.
Contingency planning.
The Armed forces always keep several plans prepared well in advance to meet all possible contingencies. These plans, essentially, consist of identifying the available resources to meet the contingency, rapid deployment of these assets, communication facilities, transportation and responsibilities of individual units/officers in such contingencies etc. These files, normally classified secret, are kept in the custody of senior officers.
Thanks to my training in the navy in preparation of these plans, I have always been preparing these plans for any contingency, pleasant or harmful, that might arise in my personal life. In the early sixties, as a young Lieutenant, I had only a few contingencies to think of, to wit:
(a) Sophia Loren/ Marilyn Monroe or any Hollywood actress of repute falls head over heels in love with me.
(b) A popular Bollywood actress decides to marry me.
(c) I get to be a hero of the silver screen and score an instant hit.
(d) I win millions in a lottery.
(e) The government in due recognition of my genius suddenly promotes me to the rank of the Admiral of the Fleet.
(f) My girlfriend fancies something more than the normal hanky-panky.
(g) Loss of my Identity Card which is a punishable offense.
Every few years, I have been updating these files first by changing the names of persons in respective files. To wit again, Bo Derek replaced Sophia Loren and Dolly Patton- Marilyn, and so on. When I had found a secure system of hanging the Identity card attached to a strong nylon rope around my neck to eliminate the possibility of its loss, I declassified the file (f) and consigned it to the dust bin. Similarly, when I had found my Miss Right, I discarded the file at (e) above.
When the family had grown with the addition of children, I added some files about their education, marriage and related affairs and shredded the obsolete files.
As time progressed, the contingencies have been changing, and I’ve been keeping pace with them by updating the folders periodically. An ordinary graph showing the age and the number of files looked like an inverted parabola.
When I had attained the age sixty, and the children flew the coup and settled down comfortably, I was literally back to square one with the following few files:
(a) Death.
(b) Hospitalization with a terminal disease.
(c) Winning any lottery, which has become an obsession, as my bank account had never reached the coveted figure of a million.
After the last tsunami, which wreaked havoc in my part of the country, I added a couple of files to take emergency measures to save my family and house from the deadly tidal waves. Since I live on the beach road frightfully close to the sea, I marked this file “Top priority.”
Ever since I started meticulous planning, I’d been snug as a bug in a rug as I was always prepared for any contingency that might have arisen. Fortunately, none of these contingencies had arisen, and all was well with my world.
Sometime in my life, I had picked up the habit of writing and published my articles and short stories. This necessitated preparation of a new file of acceptance speeches to be delivered in cases of functions associated with The Man Booker award and the Nobel Prize.
Once, my wife looked at these files and laughed for the next few minutes non-stop.
“What is so funny?” I asked.
“You have a cat in hell’s chance of winning either of these awards because you don’t look the part.”
“Don’t you underestimate me,” I said aloud but thought no man was a hero to his valet.
“OK, I buy your idea, but we both need a thorough makeover, and you need to buy me dresses and jewelry to wear for such special occasions. We can’t be dowdy amidst an august gathering, can we?” she asked.
Appreciating her point, I added several items to make both of us look presentable on such occasions.
When I found the file swelling, it dawned on me such contingencies were too expensive to handle and well beyond my means. I took no time to throw the file in the trash can.
I’d be better off without winning any of those awards.
Comments
5th Feb 2012 (#)
Oh my gosh, this is such a well written, darn funny article. I hear ya! I also play the poor man's (lottery) stock market. Just a hoot I tell ya, you cracked me up. Thank you for sharing.:)
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6th Feb 2012 (#)
Denise O,
Many thanks for your comment.
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5th Feb 2012 (#)
LOL. Funny man you are, GV.:)
Thanks for sharing.
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6th Feb 2012 (#)
Buzz,
Thanks for your comment. I am built this way.
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5th Feb 2012 (#)
Hahaha GV my friend your posts are always make me smile....you have very original thoughts and I thank you for adding cheer to these wintry days here in the UK
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6th Feb 2012 (#)
My dear Richard,
Many thanks for your appreciation.
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5th Feb 2012 (#)
Great contingency plans and adaptable too GVR! I like to see a man with vision..lol Loved this article..hahahaha
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6th Feb 2012 (#)
My dear Songbird B,
Many thanks for your appreciation.
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5th Feb 2012 (#)
I keep certain fantasies in my mind too afraid to put them in black and white that someone will find them and hell will break loose! You are too meticulous to the extent of throwing all caution to the wind, GVR ! siva
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6th Feb 2012 (#)
My dear Siva,
Many thanks for your comment.
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6th Feb 2012 (#)
What a lot of pathos - but what heaps of humour. Well done GV.
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7th Feb 2012 (#)
My dear Sheila,
many thanks for your appreciation.
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