Dear Diary

By LilyPad562, 14th Jul 2010 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/gzy.hwqi/
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Diaries

Just writing about depression, and the torture that it is.

Dear Diary

Dear Diary,
I feel so lost, so alone. I don't know why...but it's gotten worse. That constant sadness is growing worse, day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute. I'm always miserable. I want to cry all the time. I put on this mask, hoping to hide it. I don't want sympathy from people that don't understand. But I need help... Or else, I fear I might try to take my life. Because it's growing to be overwhelming. The constant torture is a curse, and nothing helps ease the pain. I feel so alone, like no one cares about me. Like no one would even notice if I dropped dead right here and now. I feel worthless, unimportant, ignored... Like I don't really matter to anyone. I've cried enough tears to equal the Pacific Ocean. I am so lost, so hopeless. Do I matter to anyone? Am I worth anything? Or am I just a waste of human flesh? Everyone I love, seems to abandon me. Am I not worth staying? I'm tired of being hurt, but no one else seems to even notice the agony behind my smiling eyes. The tears I cry each night, are the only things I know won't be leaving me. Something I know won't abandon me like everyone else. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm tired of feeling so worthless and unwanted. I'm sick of being so sad all the time. There's a weight on my shoulders, my chest. I can't breathe. I don't want to live; I want to fall asleep and never wake up. My dreams are so beautiful...But m y reality is hell. I can't keep doing this. I'm so depressed...I can't keep doing this. I can't keep feeling so alone...
-Luna