'I Thought You'd Never Ask...'
Every village has one, the local gossip who can't wait to stir up trouble in the community....and is always on the look out for a new ear to bend...
'I Never Thought You'd Ask....' (Village Gossip).
I thought you'd never ask....
'Would you like tea?', the Vicar said,
'and biscuits too, as well,
And sit down and we'll talk awhile,
I'm sure there's news to tell...'
I took the seat he offered me,
and set about my task...
'Well, now you've come to mention it,
I thought you'd never ask...'
I told him my woes, my great concerns,
his eyes grew very wide...
'And that's not all', I paused to munch,
dunking biscuits on the side.
I could see he looked so pale,
perspiration beads now basked...
'And once she finished doing that...
Well, I never thought she'd ask!!!...'
Shaken, and now deeply stirred,
he showed me to the door...
I could see him trembling,
as we crossed the wooden floor...
'She's set her sights on you, you know,
I hear she's quite a grasp...
So if she offers to do you sir,
my advice is, don't dare ask' !!
So what is this, I hear you cry?
What news did I impart?
That made our Vicar shake and moan..
gave him this nervous start?
Well, much as I would love to tell..
my throat's so dry, I'll pass......
(But buy me a pint or two or three...
'Cos I thought you'd never ask....)
Photo credit; Ambro