Licking Embers
By Amber, 30th Dec 2010 | Follow this author
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Posted in WikinutWritingShort Stories
What do you do when your home alone with your little brother and a fire starts.
Licking Embers
fire burned the ends of my hair. its getting so hot and the smoke slithers its way into my lunges. were is he i think to my self. were is charlie. i cant go with out him. the flames rage around the room as i make my way into the hallway. they haven’t made it that far yet, but i must fined him. i try to yell his name, but the smoke has latched its self to my throat threatening my conciseness. as i near to the end of the all i can see that his bedroom door is open. here he is i think. now we can get out. as i open the door and look in…i hear him screaming. the room empty as my eyes grow with fear. my ears latch on to the sound telling my brain to look at the sound. my eyes not wishing to look. the hall is beginning to burn as i see him crawling down the hall toured me. he was in mom and dads room. him left arm on fir licking at the rest of him. i move to him as quickly as i can, pulling his sweet-shirts off. our heat was shut off that morning and he was so cold. some of his skin pealed off as i removed the sweet-shirts. small blisters already forming on his shoulder and neck. there was no place to run to other than his room and the bath room. i pointed to his room and he nodded at me as he began to shut down in shock. at-lest in charlies room there was a window…
Comments
20th Jan 2011 (#)
Excellent post.
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22nd Jan 2011 (#)
thanks
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21st Jan 2011 (#)
Interesting story, good ending. Take care.
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22nd Jan 2011 (#)
thank you. i might add more
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22nd Jan 2011 (#)
Hi Amber, Just my opinion, but if you leave it as is, you give the reader hope that they made out the window, That's more interesting than telling them what actually happened?? Take care.
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23rd Jan 2011 (#)
oh, i didn't mean continue on. i just meant add a little bit more detail and make the beginning a bit longer.
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