Maskanio: The Beginnings
By Quakekidd, 29th Jul 2010 | Follow this author
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Posted in WikinutWritingShort Stories
Maskanio hasn't always had it easy in life, as a young 16 year old orphaned boy, his life has been set out to be anything below average. But as the ground began to crackle beneath his feet and bend in ways he could never imagine, he discovers secrets in the wake of the catastrophe!
The beginnings
Maskanio kneeled in the soft bed of chatoyant white snow, the tiny ice crystals sinking into the hems of his woolen trousers as he gazed about his surroundings. It was a chilly winter morning and not a sound could be heard as he stood alone in the middle of the snow blanketed forest. Only a faint hint of the sunlight could be seen if you looked out towards the horizon past the rows of pine trees scattered throughout the forest. A light wind constantly blew past Maskanio as it nipped at his exposed skin through his tattered shirt, one he had been using for a few years.
It was the middle of the winter season and his orphaned family needed game to get through the week. Maskanio, who was an orphan himself, was the provider for his family of orphans who all looked up to him since he was the oldest. Many of them had lost their parents during the war and their only choice was to go to The Orphan Home- which wasn't the best caretaker. Maskanio had never met his real parents, for as long as he could remember he had been living there, having to learn how to fend for himself. As a kid he was often out in the fields, playing with the other children and helping the couple with whatever tasks they gave him. As children, it was your duty to assist the couple with the crops in the nearby fields that surrounded their house, however it was winter, the time where all the crops died out. He stopped planting assisting with the crops and trimming the weeds the day he found a white ivory bow lying in the field. He was praised that night for finding such a rare weapon, the single time in his life where he had recieved special attention, the following morning he instantly got to work on crafting arrows for it. As a young adult, it was your duty to provide the family with game- and he was the only one capable of doing so. The couple who ran the home were too old and shriveled up- they could barely provide the basic necessities for themselves.
Maskanio sat with his back erect, still in the kneeling position, as he searched for a creature, something large enough that could feed a dozen mouths. His blue eye's stared intensely at the mounds of snow surrounding him, each snow covered lump potentially hiding a critter that could be eaten. He waited for even the slightest sound or movement to catch his attention, holding his breath to silence all distractions. His face didn’t budge as sweat began to bead his forehead from concentration, his blonde hair slightly matted against forehead.
He grabbed his ivory white bow from his back, it's polished wood nearly in mint condition besides a few scratches that covered it. he reached into his leather quiver and pulled out two arrows, the heads of them covered with copper, something he had learned how to make. Most standard arrowheads were made out of wood which could sometimes deflect off of a creature, depending on the wind positioning, but with copperheads, it allowed them to glide swiftly towards the target. Depending on the size of the creature he would sometimes bring poison dipping, and once he got the shot off he would cut a chunk of the animal out where the poison had infected it. Readying two menacing looking arrows onto the bow string, he slowly pulled the string back til it was fully extended, a rugged sound emitting from the string.
A rustle was heard. To my east! Shifting his body as if it were an instinct he aimed his arrows at the bush where the sound was coming from but stopped suddenly, it was a dragon!
To be continued...
Comments
29th Jul 2010 (#)
A few observations from my untrained eye :).
From my perspective the physical land you have created doesn't seem real to me. The main character is high in a tree in winter and recognizes a rooster pecking on a tree? I don't how common this is for a rooster, but it just doesn't seem realistic. How would he recognize a rooster vs a woodpecker for instance? Girls running from under a bush? Is there snow in this winter land? The second note is this farmer is focused on hunting. If he was born and raised a farmer his instinct wouldn't be to hunt? Where did he get this skill from? Hope that helps.
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2nd Aug 2010 (#)
Hm Terry... where do you see a rooster in the story? Unless the story has changed I don't quite understand your commet to above story.
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