The Pure Gaze: Playing with Reality TV
By Jojay, 14th Dec 2011 | Follow this author
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Posted in WikinutWritingPersonal Experiences
Many young women do not want to see things as they are; they want their life to correspond to a world where they can keep up with the Kardashians.
Watching Reality TV is how I want to spend all the Monday nights of my life
TIME:
Present day
PLACE
Los Angeles Casting Office for Reality TV Show/Admittance Room Mental Hospital
“We don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are.”
Anais Nin
Cynthia, an attractive brunette with long hair, and the requisite tan of the California native, sit behind the desk. She wears a silk white blouse and dark skirt. Her dress is casual but stylish.
Seated across from her is DANA. Dana dresses to be noticed in a short tight-fitting dress and knock-off Gucci heels. Dana has long blond hair, a spray tan, and a body that reflects regular workouts at fitness centers. Dana is obsessed with being perfect.
Dana believes she’s auditioning for the reality TV show ReallyMe.
As lights come up, Dana says:
DANA
I’m so excited to be here! I’ve watched your show since the first episode. I’m addicted to ReallyMe.
I sometimes get mad at the backstabbing that goes on with the housewives. But when you’re beautiful and rich it’s only natural that there’s jealousy between the housewives.
Watching ReallyMe is the way I want to spend all my Monday nights for the rest of my life!
Casting Director
If only ReallyMe would have such a long run! Unfortunately, we’re competing with other networks, and time slots and we’re always looking over our shoulder at what new reality show is hot on our heels----(Director catches herself and says in a calmer voice)---it seems I’m getting off the subject---which is you…(she looks down at the papers on her desk) Dana.
Why do you want to be our next Sweet Land housewife?
DANA
You know the opening of the show when the housewives hold satin red hearts over their hearts…
Dana puts her hand over her right side.
CASTING DIRECTOR
Left, Dana. The heart is on the left side of the body.
Dana looks down at where her hand is and pulls it away as if burned. She is genuinely shocked.
Dana
It is! Oh my God, I didn’t now that!
Casting Director
It makes no difference. Continue.
Dana
Well, that’s such a beautiful way to introduce the show.
I love it when the housewives share their glamorous life ---it’s so unselfish.
Like the episode when Melissa’s husband gives her the black Mercedes convertible and he draped the wreath of red hearts over the hood…I cried.
Casting Director
That was the producer’s touch---the red hearts.
Dana
A stroke of genius.
Casting Director
Yeah, well the rating went through the roof that week. But let’s get back to you.
What is your favorite color?
Dana
Yellow.
Casting Director
Why yellow?
Dana
It’s noticeable. A yellow flower is the first flower you see in a bouquet.
Yellow is the color of the sun, and everyone notices the sun.
You can’t help noticing the sun.
Without the sun, there’s nothing to distinguish one thing from the other.
People blend into the dark and the blending dark is worse than death itself.
Casting Director
Good answer, Dana. When you associate a color with something specific, you’re thinking like the type of person we like to cast in our show.
Dana
What would have been the ‘wrong’ answer?
Casting Director
Because I like it. We’d have no place to go with an answer like that.
What are you hobbies?
Dana
You mean like collecting things?
Casting Director
Yes, collecting things or what you like to do in your spare time?
Dana
I watch TV in my spare time. TV is better than the so-called world outside.
Casting Director
The so-called world? What do you mean by that?
Dana (confused)
The world then. The world of temperature changes, storm warnings,
and cloudy days.
The world of tsunamis, drought conditions, and earthquakes. I’m terrified of earthquakes.
Mental health worker comes onto stage and comes over to DANA. She kneels down and removes her knock-off Gucci shoes. Dana takes no notice of her. The woman takes the shoes and exits.
Casting Director
Not to worry, we leave the earthquakes to the movie-of-the week.
Melissa
That’s another thing I like about you show! There’s no talk about politics or anything depressing.
Sometimes people get mean in their tweets, though. One woman
tweeted that she wouldn’t recognize any of the housewives on the street without their makeup.
The woman signed herself, “Just Sayin It”
I’ll bet a millions dollars that “Just sayin’ it” is fat. There ought to be a law against people saying bad things about celebrities. I mean who do they think they are?
Casting Director
Why is it so important that you’re cast in ReallyMe?
Dana rises. She is visually upset.
Dana
Why is it so important for me to be on ReallyMe? Have you got shit for brains? Are you missing a heart?
Dana slams her hand down hard on the desk.
Can’t you see I’m running out of time! In a few short weeks, I won’t be considered young any more; I won’t be considered anything anymore. I’ll just fade away like that guy in the TV commercial that sells life insurance.
Casting Director
Take it easy, Dana. If you don’t get control of yourself, I’ll have to terminate this interview.
DANA
I’m sorry---sometimes I forget myself. It’s easy to ‘forget’ myself when I’m not who I used to be.
What I mean to say is I didn’t like the old Dana who was sad and cried all the time.
I killed her off and became the person that someone wants to watch.
Casting Director
Is that why you want to be on ReallyMe?
To show people the newly created you?
Dana
Exactly! I want people to look at me with a pure gaze and not see anything else.
I want people to witness me.
Mental health worker comes back on stage. She carries slippers. She bends down and puts them on Dana’s feet. She exits. (Again Dana takes no notice. The woman represents the ‘real’ world that Dana is impervious to.)
Casting Director gets out of chair and goes over to ‘window’.
Casting Director
The housewife named Lisa Marie------tell me what you know about her?
Dana
Lisa Marie is my favorite character! She has been with the show since the beginning!
Lisa Marie said her mother worshipped Elvis Presley and wanted to give her the same name as Elvis’s daughter.
Let’s see, (Dana ‘counts’ the reason on her fingers) Lisa Marie loves Louie Vitton handbags and Jimmy Choo’s shoes, she lives in a mansion with marble floors, a spiral staircase, and a chandelier in every room.
Her husband spoils her---for a Christmas present, he hung a Rolex watch on one of the tree branches.
Imagine a Rolex hanging next to a common Christmas ornament!
Casting Director
Lisa Marie is getting predicable, we’re thinking of pumping up the part of her nemesis, Nicole…
Dana
I hate to interrupt, but what is a nemesis?
Casting Director
A rival or opponent. The viewers are getting bored with Lisa Marie. It’s time to eliminate her.
Dana
Oh, I see what you mean. She’s predicable and with all that bitchin’ and bellyaching’ about the other housewives she’s wearing a little thin.
Casting Director
We’ll just cut the time she’s on each episode and our viewers will forget she was even on the show.
DANA
You can do that? Cut the time someone’s on the show?
Casting Director
We can do anything we frigin’ please---we’re Reality TV Gods for Christ’s sakes!
Dana
But cutting her off the show is being disposed of---like you didn’t exist
in the first place.
Lisa Marie might be getting a little boring but that’s probably because she’s not given enough drama to work with. Maybe your producers could give her a better story line….or something.
Casting director comes back over to her desk and sits down.
Casting Director
Look Dana, I’m having second thoughts here. You might not be right for us. We’re looking for a replacement for Lisa Marie and you’re showing signs of being, well… thoughtful.
There’s no place on our show for thoughtful.
Thoughtful people tell you all the depressing things that are happening in the world and expect you to do something about it!
Dana
I’m not thoughtful! Thoughtful people tell you all the depressing things that are happening in the world and expect you to do something about it!
They criticize our country and make people feel bad for
not liking Blacks, illegal immigrants or same-sex marriage!
Thoughtful is… reading books (she nearly spits out the word) when you can see the movie, or read about it on Facebook.
Thoughtful isn’t “Vegas Baby” or “Livin’ out loud” and it sure as hell isn’t someone like my sister who said hallelujah when a black Democrat becomes president.
When Dana says hallelujah, she raises both arms in a victory salute.
Mental health worker comes back on stage. She carries a white smock.
The woman puts the smock over Dana’s upraised hands and pulls it down over her body. Mental health worker exits.
Dana lowers her hands and then stands. The casting director, not sure what to expect, looks a little scared. Dana draws out her next words in a threatening manner.
Dana
Only you have the power to put me where I’ll be noticed!
Casting Director
Please sit down. I’m here to help you.
As Dana sits Casting Director ‘morphs’ into a consultant PSYCHIATRIC SOCIAL WORKER. She picks up business-like glasses and slips them on. Perhaps puts her hair in a rubber band for a more professional look. She picks up some papers and hands them to her. She is now a psychiatric social worker.
Psychiatric Social Worker
You need to fill out these forms before we get started.
Dana
What kind of forms?
Psychiatric Social Worker
A consent to treatment and a guarantee of payment.
She hands a form to Dana. Dana looks at the form but she doesn’t understand it.
Dana
Does this mean that I’m being hired for RealityMe?
Psychiatric Social Worker
It means I haven’t made up my mind what…treatment method will be in your best interest.
Dana hands the forms back to the psychiatric social worker. She begins to fidget in her chair.
Dana
My best interest is getting cast on the show!
Psychiatric Social Worker
I’m not a casting director Dana.
Dana
What are you then?
Psychiatric Social Worker
I’m a psychiatric social worker.
Dana thinks about this for a moment.
Dana
Oh now I get it! ReallyMe is doing a story that involves
a mental hospital and you’re seeing if I can fit the part.
Psychiatric Social Worker
Yes, I need to know if you ‘fit’ the part.
Dana
(With pride)
That’ll be a piece of cake. My entire family is a little weird.
In high school, my dad used to tell me not to drink because I was already two cans short of a six-pack. (Dana laughs, but it’s a little brittle.)
Do I have the part or not?
Psychiatric Social Worker
We’ll see. There are a few more questions I need to ask you first.
You haven’t told me much about your childhood.
What’s your earliest memory?
DANA
Not important. It’s the now that counts.
Psychiatric Social Worker
Why do you say that?
Dana
Because that’s all I have to give you! The now in me!
Put me in the show and I won’t disappoint you.
I’ll make sure that your viewers won’t turn away. I’ll get drunk, throw a drink in someone’s face, tip over a table in a fancy restaurant, steal another woman’s husband, or rip out the hair extensions of my best friend. Hell, I’ll even walk naked down Rodeo drive if necessary!
Psychiatric Social Worker
I don’t think that will be necessary.
What do you do when you’re not auditioning for reality TV shows?
Dana
I don’t understand.
Psychiatric Social Worker
What is your day job, Dana?
Dana
I’m not working at the present. That’s ‘cause I got fired from my job as a meter reader.
I failed to report a damaged gas meter and they let me go. It was no big deal. Nothing would have happened!
Their house wouldn’t have blown up or anything, for God’s sakes.
Some people and their drama!
Psychiatric Social Worker
Do you have difficulty sleeping?
Dana
Not if I’m watching television.
Psychiatric Social Worker
When you do sleep? What do you dream about Dana?
Dana
Why are you asking me about my dreams? I don’t care about anything that happens when I’m not being seen.
How can I make you understand that I want to be in a world stripped of meaning; a world untainted with the labels of reality; a world where people will look at me with a pure gaze and see nothing but me.
Please, give me the opportunity to be seen and I’ll be anything you want me to be. You’ve only to say two words.
Psychiatric Social Worker
And what two words would those be?
Dana
Admit me.
Psychiatric Social Worker picks up the consent to treatment form and hands it to Dana. Lights DIM as Dana reaches for the paper and then go OUT.
Comments
15th Dec 2011 (#)
Interesting script!!! Ever enacted it??
Would be a good one to put theatrics into it. Ask JD (JohnnyDod) he is into theatre and lighting.... He would give you tips to market it too.... :-)
Reply to this comment
15th Dec 2011 (#)
Thanks for your comment, Aiyanna. This play has not been produced because it was just recently written, but I've had many plays produced (and three published) over the years. I put this one on Wikinut because I've written articles on Reality TV and wanted to have a (creative spin, if you will) non-article on the same subject.
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16th Dec 2011 (#)
I am in awe and will be returning soon, to really get into it, looks great so far.
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16th Dec 2011 (#)
Hello Jojay, what a worthwhile wait I had, to
catch up with this script. I am honored to be amongst fine writers as yourself. I so enjoyed it. If only I could write like that,I would sit down
and write this passionate and inspiring true story as told to me by the strikingly beautiful, blond haired young Portuguese woman.
She was the mother character featured in this
amazing action packed love, thriller which is set
during the 1970s civil war in Maputo Africa and
her young husband and two babies,
becoming separated one dark night in the thick of
a raging gun battle all around them, between two
waring factions near the South African border, and her
family's wild dash for the barbed wire border fence
and to freedom.
After searching for years and finally
about to give up, she finds them again, a 1000 miles
away miraculously alive years later, and now she stands
to loose them once again... Now, as a skilled writer
such as yourself can see, just from the snippet above,
it has all the makings of a great book The entire tale
is loaded with intrigue, and suspense, set in South
Africa at a time when they were going through a civil
war of their own and covert military arms deals with
western allies being a very real part of her life and
mine at the time. which was the reason for this long
silence.
I would welcome any suggestions about how best and also
least expensive way to get it done. If at all you can
find time away from your busy schedule, perhaps you can
drop me a line at:
tranquilpen@gmail.com, Regards Andre' Hartslief
Ps. If you can't help me I truly understand.
Happy holidays
Reply to this comment
17th Dec 2011 (#)
Hi Tranquilpen,
Thanks for your comment. The Pure Gaze is at a theatre and I'm waiting for a response. The story about the civil war love story in Africa sounds fascinating. It would make a good book, and also screenplay. I have a few ideas on both, and after the holidays I'll e-mail you about them. When I took a course from Stanley Kramer (film director) he said (to his students) you don't have a chance in hell getting an original screenplay done (you have to produce it yourself) but "for all you writers out there----playwrights and novelists---you have a tremendous advantage in getting your stuff noticed and read. First advice, write a book about it and go from there. Happy Holidays everyone!
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