Trigger To My Awakening
By Fire Diamond Light, 21st Mar 2012 | Follow this author
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Posted in WikinutWritingDiaries
To live is to feel, at the moment I feel like to disappear again!
I Failed To Find Someone To Love Me
"it struck me that every people around me is so desolated. I can't believe that the business world continues to trivialize the world's environment problems. As the old line goes, hope springs eternal in the human heart." - Quote from Details Magazine!
Today I have decided to quit my job and go to travel again. Where is the destination this time? I haven't really work it out yet. Why I want to quit? The answer is very simple, I feel bore about what I am doing. Although I could fit into this 4A Advertising Agency so easily but I can't find my interest there. I know I want to work in the creative department instead of traffic. Unfortunately, I work out all the disadvantages before I have work on my portfolio! So there is. I am going to resign by the end of this month.
I think I am going to move out this paranoid flat, I feel really tired about the flat owner's complain. Not about me but about Sabestine habit. I hated to live with people like that, it seem that she want anyone who rent her room need to compromise to her and follow her silly habits and rules. This make me feel crazy if I stay any longer with her.
The main reason why I want to leave Hong Kong is I failed to find someone to love me. When I love somebody and no matter how I expressed my feeling to them, they either don't understand or misunderstand. I think I love you but I am not sure in such an empty and lonely stage. I know I am thinking about you a lot, I know I respect you, I know I care about you, I know I dream about you, I know I want to make love with you, I know I need someone like you. But I also know you are not the only one that make me have these feelings, before you there was someone else but at the end I realised that was only an illusion.
And now I feel I don't need anything, no love, no work, no place to live, except I desperated need to travel again! I want to clean all though rubbish out of my mind or else one day I will be explodes and nothing could be mend. To live is to feel, at the moment I feel like to disappear again!
Comments
23rd Mar 2012 (#)
Good on you Fire Diamond Light but do remember that you take You with you so perhaps a change in your perception is due. Really and truly we all love each other, it just dont look like that through our minds and emotions..travel well...
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25th Mar 2012 (#)
Interesting writing and thank you for sharing with us.
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30th Mar 2012 (#)
thank you....love you too...this writing is before my awakening like 10 years ago!
now i am free ;)
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