3 practical ways to handle offense

Solomon Sunday By Solomon Sunday, 3rd Aug 2015 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Religion>Christianity

Offense is what we must fight with
In order to save our relationships and friendship
especially those God has brought into our life

3 practical ways to handle offense

3 Practical ways to handle offense

Matthew 18:7

To every problem there is a solution sometimes we are blind to the solution we need and left to suffer in the darkness of the problem. This is the second part of this article on Offense the first part point on the dangers of offense. As christians we ought to be careful about offense and it aftermath
It is one of the enemy tools for destruction. Offense is one of the commonest happenings in life it is too common that it happens every second, minute, hour and day all around the world it is part of the human race. I often use to ask myself years ago why offense especially from those very close ( Father, Mother, Brothers, Sisters, Friends, Colleagues at work or in school) forgiveness becomes difficult sometimes for most people when the offender are from the group of people listed.

My Story

Years ago i traveled with my mother and siblings to visit my grandmother for a family reunion it was a 32 hours journey ( a day and half) by road. We were exhausted on our arrival treated nicely by everyone in the family joy and happiness seem to flood their heart toward us. We enjoyed everything as time stumbled upon time now we become familiar with each other it was now 3 months The first love has faded away and the time has come to see clearly the real attitude of everyone. Suddenly offense started creeping in people suddenly became fed up with one another and passivity began to strive as unhandled offence hover in the heart of people irritation set in as unforgiveness ruled. Suddenly I noticed that the enemy has succeeded in planting offence in our heart to destroy our sweet family fellowship. The Devil is against unity, love, peace, joy and harmony so he will do anything just to destroy any trace of it in any relationship. Immediately his tricks was unveil to me he attacked me by leading one of my closest aunt whom I love so much to offend me the pain crawled deep down into my bones as a result of I reacted negatively without considering where it came from it affected our relationship and almost destroyed it. It was a reunion I will never forget though we started out well on a good page but didn’t end well after the reunion was over and everyone went back to their various destination I noticed that when ever her name is mentioned in any conversation something in me react anger, unhappiness toward her though I was a Christian it took me two years to completely let go of it and forgave her properly sometimes we think we have really forgiven others by saying a little word of forgiveness but that’s not real and true forgiveness real and true forgiveness is from the heart and not just words you can say the words you can say the words and not mean it. There is nothing that ca be use to measure forgiveness but I tell you as you read this article that the only measure of forgiveness is the response of your heart in action when you see your offender God helped me overcome that years ago. The more closer people get into you the more liable they are to offend you and also the other way you to them. Don’t be surprise if your father, mother, brothers, sisters, colleagues, friends etc. Absalom one of the case study of one who was offended at his brother act refuse to overcome and let go was led by the spirit of offence and he eventually destroy his half brother it can still happen to anyone who fellow the same footstep of Absalom when you refuse to genuinely forgive and move on you will end up destroying yourself and those around you.

Matthew 18:7,117
Luke 17:1

The above scriptures enlightened me more about offence

3 Practical steps to handle offence

1.Confront you offender

Matthew 18:1

It is not easy to confront your offender but it’s not about what you feel, like or think we must follow biblical standard and ways of doing things and not doing things based on our culture and tradition because the word of God carries God life which will give life to dead or about to die situations or problems.
When you don’t forgive God will not also forgive you. Don’t be surprise when you are offended it’s part of life events but forgive and let go offence can kill, steal and destroy. The Devil is the god of this world and offence is one of his tools he uses to attack mankind and get more people to himself anyone who is offended and refuse to forgive is controlled by the Devil and his demons. Confronting your offender does not mean confront to fight it should be aimed at settling the discuss between you and your offender and not avenue for justification and clearance. One time I confronted my offended and in the process I realized that we were adding more woods to the already made fire by trying to justify ourselves so I immediately quit the conversation to return another time because it seem not to be taking a positive turn.

2.Tell the truth

Matthew 18:1

After you confront your offender the next step is to tell the truth. Telling the truth is very needful for easy settlement not telling the truth for justification but for settlement accept fault don’t try to hide from it don’t lie about what happened or exaggerate the issue to gain support from others or to look good and your offended look bad.

Telling the truth involves
1.Accept fault
2.Apologising
3.Not justifying yourself

No matter the external involvement to settle the discuss it all comes down to you and your offended to decide from your heart to forgive one another

3.Let it go

It is not easy to let things go but for peace to reign in your life and your relationships you definitely must let go if you feed and care for the offence in your heart it will lead you astray into destruction. Sometimes people misinterpret passivity as letting go. When you let go it means you hold nothing against others.

Letting it go involves
1.Giving a second chance for change
2.Not holding yourself back from been useful when the opportunity present itself
3.Not been passive
4.Relating or acting as though had happened

Few people are able to recover from offence and keep the flow as though nothing had happened but as Christian your spiritual maturity can also be estimated by how you respond in offence and out of offence. No matter who it may be cry if you can but don’t dwell on the pain let it go let God win and let the Devil fail. As long as your live offence is inevitable but it can be handled. Forgive your offended even as Christ as forgiven you.

I pray for you that God will help you overcome offence give you the ability to let go and restore peace to your life and relationships offence is trying to destroy in Jesus Name

Tags

3 Dangers Of Offense, The Power Of Love

Meet the author

author avatar Solomon Sunday
Writer. disciple of christ, preacher, teacher, counsellor, motivational speaker, ...
I love poetry because it help me put my imagination into writing.
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Comments

author avatar snerfu
3rd Sep 2015 (#)

Yes, I agree with you entirely. Forgiveness is indeed very hard but so very necessary for Christian life.

Nice article, I enjoyed reading it.

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author avatar Solomon Sunday
3rd Sep 2015 (#)

forgiveness also show our spiritual maturity
thanks for reading

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