30 years of Valentine's Days

Deborah Judges By Deborah Judges, 12th Feb 2014 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/1-2wdbhu/
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Diaries

How knowing someone for 30 Years impacts That Special Day.

25 years of Valentine's Days...

I was 17 when I spent my first Valentine's Day with my soon to be husband.. He bought me a beautiful Tapestry, all earthy colors, of a brown Unicorn running through a forest. I collected Unicorns and the picture was so magical and he really couldn't afford it but that was the first Valentines gift my husband ever gave me. There were gifts every year, but it all depended on how much our bills added up to if the day was a big or small event, The remembrance of a very special gift, is of a heart necklace and embossed on the heart was a mother lifting up her baby. That one was our 15th Valentine's Day together. I had given birth to our daughter in May 1999.so she was nine month's old and we took her with us to celebrate and I'm sure she was dressed to the hilt because I dressed her as if she were a model. But every year for 25 years that Day I never had to wonder if he really loved me. It was just a fact. He loved me. That was the greatest gift he gave to me every Valentine's Day no matter where he was even when he was away at war, in the Persian Gulf, I knew he loved me.

Love At First sight...

I was 17 and I was a runaway, but I was smart I went to live with a friend in Killeen, Texas, The city that still grows leaps and bounds because it is home to the Largest Military Base in the United States Fort Hood. My friend was in the Army and I didn't know before I went out there that she had an open door policy to hers and her husband's friends but there door was always open and everyone playfully called the mom and pop. When I came, being a pretty little Southern Belle, I seemed to be the only single girl for miles The first night I met this Sergeant by the name of Gary and he asked me out for the next weekend because this weekend was a party to meet me, so everyone could get to know me. He was tall and handsome Blonde hair, blue eyes and he was from German descent. We talked a while then after we confirmed our date we went and mingled with ALL the other people. The next night was Saturday September 17, 1983. The Guys (as the troupe was called) began arriving about 5 o'clock p.m. and they would come in alone or with a couple others with them, I watched the door to see if I remembered any of them from the night before and Gary came in and behind him stood the most beautiful person I had ever seen. They came straight to the table where I was sitting and the beautiful man told me his name was Frankie. He had dark brown hair and blue eyes that twinkled and sparkled as I met his gaze.He was beautiful down to his soul and I knew he was going to be my husband. I excused myself went and found Gary and told him I couldn't go out with him because I had just met my husband, he looked amused and surprised as I left him and went and sat down at the table with Frankie. I know we connected in a deep way but i don't remember the conversation. Then a loud voice rang out saying "going to the store who wants to come; riding with the top down". Frankie said "that's my friend DJ, would you like to go along for the ride?" I said yes! We climbed in a classic long red convertible and I sat in the back with Frankie on my right side and my friends husband on the left. They sat on the back of the seat and pulled me up to again sit between them. In the little cove where they lived you had to drive up steep hills to get out. So there I was on that perch with the man on my right not knowing I was going to Marry him. So I hatched a plan. I put my hand a little high on his thigh and gave it a squeeze as we went up hill! He had shorts on even though it was a cool September night. I snuggled close to him and said I was cold from the night air and he pulled me down into the seat and we sat there side by side. I'm sure what they bought at the store was party supplies but I just kept talking with Frankie while the others went in to get everything. He told me he was from a small town in Georgia and just got stationed at Fort Hood having come coming back from a 2 year tour of duty in Europe. I felt like telling him right then that I would go anywhere he went, but I held my tongue so I wouldn't frighten him away. I asked if he had a girlfriend and he told me, no! The other guys came back and we sat side by side in the quiet of the cool September night but my mind was shouting with happiness. Back at the house we got the groceries unloaded and served up dinner. I kept my eye on Frankie the whole time and then I saw him go talk to my friend's husband. A little while later her husband took me aside and told me that Frankie said I had made a pass at him. That was private and I did not like the man and so I told him Frankie must be confused, my high flying spirit rushed back to my body and I wondered what it meant that he went to him instead of me to talk about what I had done. I thought it meant he thought I was one of those "bad girls" and was tattling on me. It became overwhelming with all the people around I wanted to get some fresh air. So I walked out the door to the edge of the trailer park down in the cove and sat on some cement steps that didn't have a trailer to go with them. So I sat there alone thinking here i was a runaway and now this beautiful man that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with must be thinking I was some kind of "bad girl". The rustling of fallen leaves behind made me start, realizing how alone I was for the first time. But when I turned and looked it was Frankie coming he said to "check on me". He sat down beside me and I asked him why he had gone to my friend's husband and told him I made a pass at him and he said because I was so young and he didn't want to get in trouble and he really didn't know if I had really made a pass or was just hanging on tight up the steep hill. I lied to him and said I didn't make a pass at him. He let out an sigh that sounded as if he were disappointed. So I said, "but I really do like you." as we watched the moon rise over the hill we were both shocked at how big and orange it was. It seemed as if you were at the top of the hill you could touch it. I said I was cold and he sat real close beside me and put his arm around my shoulder I thought I heard his heart beating really fast but I couldn't concentrate on that his closeness was disarming, He told me he was a Private First Class and that his best friends were Gary, yes the one I told that I had met my husband, and DJ the young guy with the red convertible. He also told me that mostly on the weekends they went to Fort Worth but had come back early to meet me. I told him I was glad and he reached over and held my hand. And when he did God bonded us together. He never left the house again except to go to work and we became "those two lovebirds", A month later I was up on the hillside, being a little bit homesick, when he came home he walked up the hill to meet me and said he had a question to ask me. He was standing over me while I was arranging the flowers I had gathered into a bouquet I looked up at him and said okay and he knelt on one Knee and said if "If I ask you to marry me will you go back to my hometown with me when my enlistment is up. God had told me the very first night that he would be my husband and I started crying and said "yes" many times over and there on the hill with the setting sun and a bouquet of flowers in my hand he asked me to marry him and go back home with home when his enlistment was up. We started making plans that day and although some bumps came along the way we always worked everything out. We were married on May 5, 1984. And we went to live in his home town.It's 30 years later and I still love that man more than any human being except my for my daughter.

Five Years Wasted and more to come...

Five years ago, I left that man because things had happened in all that time and I didn't think he loved me anymore. But I was wrong and when I left, we left it in Friendship. It has taken me five years to see how wrong i was. And when the mistake became so clear to me of what I had done, of how I had left the Love of My Life, because I didn't feel loved and cherished anymore when actually he was still loving me now, I went back to Frankie last October and asked him if we could get back together because I loved him more than anything on Earth except Our Daughter. I guess the 17 year old girl in me thought that everything would work out and we would celebrate this Valentine's Day Our 30th, by being back together. But he said he didn't think he could do that. That we had a great friendship and he loved me because I was the Mother of his child, but he couldn't take the chance of loving anyone that much again., Because when it ended it almost killed him. We are still married but as I said before we are Separated. We have co-parented our child so well that the only change she ever experienced was that she now had two houses to live in. He did say he'd give it some thought and in December I asked him not only to give it some thought but to pray about it fervently. The 17 year old girl in me thought on May 5, 2014 we would renew our vows. But this has no fairy tale ending. He loves me very much I know that by how generous and good to me he is, but he still remembers that terrible pain of me leaving and says he just can't take that chance again with anyone. He dates and there is a man that I date Steady. But I know God still has plans for us to be married forever and never divorce, but the separation has come to stay. We didn't tell Our Daughter about this change in heart that I've had and we won't ever. But she still knows deep inside her I love him more than anyone.

How God Works...

Our daughter turns 15 on May 28, 2014 and a young man asked her recently if she would be his girlfriend, she said yes and they are "going out" now they don't call it "going steady" anymore. She's not allowed to date without one of us Chaperoning and her boyfriend asked to take her to dinner on Valentine's Day. Since it will be her first official date Her father and I will chaperone them together so neither of us misses the occasion. We will take them to the restaurant of their choice and as the two "love birds" will have their first Valentine's dinner together, God has made it where Her Father and i can be together as well, on this 30th Anniversary of Valentine's Days, So on February 14, 2014 I will sit across the table from a brown haired, blue eyed beautiful human being and pray with all my heart that one day the twinkle and sparkle comes back again when he looks at me And I hear him say what we used to say "I love you Forever And A Day."


Hope Springs Eternal, Love, Marriage, Rekindle, Separation

Meet the author

author avatar Deborah Judges
I I have kept Journals on and off for 38 years. Sometimes the words. thoughts and feelings fly from my mind to the page; just streaming through my fingers.

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