4:00 A.M. Thursday Morning

Utah JayStarred Page By Utah Jay, 20th Nov 2014 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/39109epy/
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Poetry

Every Thursday morning at 4:00 AM I start my drive for early mourning group, no matter the weather, or how I feel. There are no excuses for missing this meeting, no ups, no extras.

4:00 A.M. Thursday Morning


4:00 A.M. Thursday Morning
(the methadone clinic)

In the morning, my plastic Jesus and I
Will drive downtown
As we always do,
No exceptions.
In the doorway waiting
There will be an old moss-back man
Glowing in his outpost

As he always does
His full nose red and dripping with cold.

A Button Too Low


At the counter
The blonde well rounded nurse
Waits with her good morning smile,
Her breasts large and full
Straining against their wiry cage

A size too small and her blouse
A button too low,
As it always is.

In the Doorway


When at last I arrive
And I’m standing full on
In the doorway
Finally within reach
Of the warmth in the room.
From here
In this framed square
I will survey the empty chairs
As I always do,
Looking for an empty one
That seems to be wanting wear.

The tattooed dolls


And once there
I’ll sit and listen
For my name to be called
As the tattered street people
And the professionals,
The tattooed dolls,
The Doctors and the lawyers,
And one ageing NFL star

Search for civil words
To plead their case,
Like they always do.

Like a Daisy


And then, like a daisy
They’ll pick my name,
As they always do
And I’ll dose before going up stairs
Where the perfume of clean women
Permeates the air.
There I will spend a few
With my counselor
As we’ll get lost in the small talk,
As we always do, after all
She knows me now,
It’s been more than ten years

We’ve been meeting
Like this.


uTAH jAY

All photos by uTAH jAY except "tattooed dolls" which is from face book.

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Tags

A New Day, A New Journey, A New Life, A New Look, A New Start, A New World, Addiction, Addiction Recovery, Addiction To Alcohol, Addiction To Heroin, Addictive Behavior, Clean, Clean 10 Years 4 Months, Clean And Sober

Meet the author

author avatar Utah Jay
I have been writing since the beginning of time it seems, not because I want to write, but because I have too. My favorite form of writing is poetry, all kinds and types of poetry.

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Comments

author avatar Fern Mc Costigan
20th Nov 2014 (#)

Awesome poem!

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author avatar Mark Gordon Brown
20th Nov 2014 (#)

Thank you for sharing this poem on the trials of life.

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author avatar spirited
21st Nov 2014 (#)

"for early mourning group"

I don't know if this was a typo, or not, but it certainly fits with the tone of the poem too.

The poem sort of becomes tiresome in the way we mourn for things that perhaps we shouldn't mourn for anymore.

The tiresomeness is so well done though that we wake up more as we stay riveted to what might come next.

I am trying to say the repetition was brilliantly done, and not tiresome really at all.

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author avatar Utah Jay
21st Nov 2014 (#)

Thank you Fern, life is new for me, t10 years clean out of 47 years of use, they call it self medicating.

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author avatar Utah Jay
21st Nov 2014 (#)

No, thank you Mark for moderating it, giving it a star and all the things you do for us for so little pay and so little appreciation.

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author avatar Utah Jay
21st Nov 2014 (#)

You know what spirited, it was a typo, but I think I will leave it. The folks at group will get a kick out of it, and yes, it is tiresome. There are days I don't want to be there, days I have sat through the hour with pneumonia, or the flu, but these things are nothing to the way life was before, they saved my life. Now they pay me to go speak from time to time, to be in a film on addiction and recovery which gives me a chance to help others as well. There is so much black-tar-heroin coming across our southern boarder that addiction is at epidemic proportions. Kids in Jr. High school are buying two dollar hits with their lunch money while our politician's, including Obama, play games.

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author avatar spirited
21st Nov 2014 (#)

thanks for sharing that Utah Jay, I am one who has never been near these types of drugs having led a sheltered life. I am glad that your life has been saved from yourself. We all need that, me too.

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author avatar WOGIAM
21st Nov 2014 (#)

I am glad that you have been clean for as long as you have, i wish you the best of luck as you do all you can to support others. Cheers

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author avatar Utah Jay
21st Nov 2014 (#)

Thank you spirited. It all started after being molested by a scout leader in 1961 and there was no one in that world to talk to, so I got new friends, Jack Beam, Johnny Walker, Budweiser, you know, what ever a kid can find at 12 years old to make him forget.

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author avatar Utah Jay
21st Nov 2014 (#)

I think that's Jim Beam. Its been awhile.

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author avatar Utah Jay
21st Nov 2014 (#)

Thank you WOGIAM, exactly, I didn't know that was such a place where one can go without insurance and get real help, not the kind that says your cured as soon as the insurance runs out, and get that help in a confidential way.

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author avatar Utah Jay
21st Nov 2014 (#)

The was should of had a 'there' in front of it.

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author avatar GV Rama Rao
21st Nov 2014 (#)

What type of counselling do you get? An intriguing poem.

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author avatar GV Rama Rao
21st Nov 2014 (#)

What type of counselling do you get? An intriguing poem.

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author avatar Utah Jay
23rd Nov 2014 (#)

I go to private counseling every other Monday, and to group counseling every Thursday. We talk about life, about recovery, and about addiction.

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author avatar Utah Jay
23rd Nov 2014 (#)

GV Rama: I go to private counseling every other Monday, and to group counseling every Thursday. We talk about life, about recovery, and about addiction

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