A Different Perception's Reality

oRoberto By oRoberto, 25th Apr 2014 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Personal Experiences

A personal journey that led me to discover a new reality with a new perception.

How it Starts

I have been told time and time again what it is I should be doing, the kind of life that I should live or at least pursue, and what decisions are supposed to be “in my best interest”. I began to invision what this hypothetical life of mine might look like. A two story house with a big and beautiful back yard began to materialize somewhere in my brain responsible for visions and aspirations. A good wife whom I held dear to me and two beautiful children, one of each sex, soon began to accompany these thoughts of mine. It became so clear to me what my life was supposed to lead up to. I knew exactly how to get there and the amount of time it would take for me to reach this future of mine along with all it held in store for me. This all may sound normal, typical, and average for most Americans. It even seemed to me that only a fool would aspire or even think of pursuing something different. I myself even began to feel “normal” at the thought of having a normal life and for some reason I like many would find comfort in the thought of being “normal”; however, a feeling of great discomfort and discontent slowly and ever so dilligently began to penetrate and destablize this vision that had manifested as a product of all the influences in my life. I began to feel lost, confused, stressed, anxious, worried, helpless, and eventually depressed.

A taste of Insanity

Why? Why could I not help but feel like this formula for a fulfilling life was missing an endless arrangement of variables? Why was the logical suddenly so illogical? My mind, which was once a safe haven for my self, my soul, and the pilot to this complex vessel of mine began to unravel. As if something had pierced my very skull with its bare hands and had begun to mead this organic material called a brain. Then, like a water ballon squeezed too tight my mind erupted into a sea of infinite realities and states of conscienceness. I did not feel better. I did not feel worse. What I did feel was the need to experience the exact opposite of what my major influences at that time had suggested were the “right” experiences. As if to make up for lost time, I not only crossed but ran past that fine line that seperates those who are curious from those who may just very well be absolutley insane. Short of comitting murder I was willing to and even obsessed with trying all the “wrong” things. I welcomed any and all possiblitlies. From the demonic to the sexually bizarre, I found that all boundries limiting the experiences I was allowed to have had somehow vanished. One might have thought I had lost the capacity to reason what was right and what was wrong but the truth was that I just could no longer distinguish between the two.

"Good" and "Evil" is Flawed and Man-Made

I realize now that there is no “wrong” and there is no “right”. There is no “good” and there is no “evil”. Is it “right” to save a species destined to destabalize an entire biosphere sustaining thousands of other species? Is it “wrong” to let a man die when what the future awaits him is nothing but suffering and dispair? Is it a “good” thing to convince another human being of what “evil” is and is it “evil” to convince someone of what “good” is? When one's perception is limited to the experiences one's been allowed to have it's impossible for us to determine what wrong, right, good, and evil might be. Our sense of smell, taste, touch, hearing, and sight are not windows that allow us to experience reality for what it is but instead act as filters which limit our experiences to those five senses. What we think of now as being anything but insignificant is based on popular opinion and belief. If as a human species we discovered that to sustain human life would mean the end of all life and existence as we know it, would we do the “right” thing or the “wrong” thing and allow humanity to die? The proper response would be “there's always another option” or “there has to be another way”, but is this very thought not an “evil” one based on this inflexible premise?

Reality

Reality is nothing more than what a wise man once described as life's greatest illusion. Those in power are those who posess the ability to frame this grand illusion for us then alter that same frame as they selfishly see fit. I no longer care for advice, council, help, or even understanding. Knowing that any of those things would come from an entirely differently framed perception, it would be nonsensical to believe it would be in my best interest especially considering that my “best interest” varies from one framed perception to another. My life's journey will come to an end like all others but before that time comes I intend to indulge in as many pleasures and discomforts as possible because only then will I have a better understanding of both myself and this world I live in. After all, it is only by experiencing as much as life has to offer, whether “good” or “bad”, that my framed perception will not only be closer to the truth but will also be my own and not imposed. Only then can my life truly mean something to me having been given the chance to interpret it myself and not by someone else. If this sounds crazy, well good. If none of this makes sense, well great. It doesn't necessarily have to, does it? Reality is the manifistation of one's perception being rationalized by one's own conscious and subconscious mind. Yours is not mine.

Tags

Illusion And Anxiety, Mental Anguish, Mental Peace, Mind, Mindfulness, Perceiving, Perception, Reality

Meet the author

author avatar oRoberto
Born and raised in El Paso, TX. I spend my time ranching, working, and writing personal pages on things I notice in life. It's probably best if I'm not taken too seriously though.

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