A Gay Holiday

Andres Fragoso JrStarred Page By Andres Fragoso Jr, 22nd Dec 2014 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/3mi_zhy0/
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Family

The Holidays do not always mean the same to those of us who are gay. To some of us is a celebration of family unity and love. To others is a piercing, painful memory of family’s prejudices, religion righteousness, pain, despair and suicidal thoughts because our own families made us feel like abominations.

Hiding Behind Religions

The holidays are upon us. Thanksgiving has long passed. A day that we thank wholeheartedly that the Europeans that came to the Americans and claim the land as their own, making the natives and the gays into foreigners. Christmas for those who are Christians, Catholics, Protestants, LDS, and all who bare a cross on their necks or in their bibles, celebrate the birth of Jesus. Chanukah to those who believe in god before the Christians ever did. Who remember their plight to freedom and those seven days the oil lamp stayed lite.

Loving Family

If you’re straight or at least straight acting in the closet, you’re in. You get to be the loving son, father, brother, uncle, and a pillar to the community. Or a loving daughter who is loving, caring, mother, sister, aunt, and a pillar to the family. You are loved, cared for and above all accepted. The fact that some of you are in interracial relationships, in jail, molesting children, murderers, wife beaters, cheaters, and everything under the sun, you are forgiven because you’re straight. You have no sin in the eyes of your community.

If Your Straight but Effeminate

If you are straight and a bit effeminate, you’re walking the tight line there. You might be completely straight and brought up by women, so you picked up good habits, are kind, caring, and loving, you’re still a little off. You might not be ready to come out and try as hard as you can to be straight. You pray every night on your knees over stones, flogging the gay out of yourself. Your family is probably talking beneath their breath asking themselves when you’re coming out to kick you out of their house because you’re an embarrassment.

If Your A Tom Boy

If you’re a Tom Boy. You’re still accepted to a point. As long as you wear a dress, put some makeup on and be feminine every now and then. If you cook, clean, wash clothes, host parties, let your father, brothers, and all abuse you trying to get the Tom Boy out of you.

Have We Not Suffered Enough?

Have we not? We’re welcoming the year 2015 and we still have all this hate. We are you’re children, love us at least for that. No gay ever before the 1900’s were ever so deemed evil. We were never covered under darkness to show our love for each other. We lived in our communities; no one cared who we loved. We were loved for being ourselves, not for who love in our bedrooms.

Love Us For Who We Are

Love us because we are part of you, not part of the religion that tells you that you’re a bad parent for having gay babies. Love us for being ourselves. We are intelligent, loving, caring and most of us are pillars of the community. Love us for being there with you when you were down. Love us because we are human and have done nothing wrong. Love us because you’re faith shows you to love, not because the latent preacher teaches you to hate us because he hates himself.

Growing Up Was Painful To Begin With

Growing up we were part of the family. We celebrated the holidays together with love, joy, compassion, and with no care in the world. Our teenage years were hard enough to deal with. High School is the worst. Okay, no one ever grows out of that one. On top of finding ourselves both sexually, and emotionally, we have to endure the hate from the ignorant at school, your church, and ourselves. We hate ourselves for being different and you don’t love us anymore.

It's Not Your Fault I'm Gay

It’s not your fault that I’m gay. You are a good parent and if you learned anything from the bible you stick your nose in all day you might read the words that are written on the book. Stop hiding behind the preacher telling you that you are a bad parent and should ask forgiveness by exiling your gay child. I am me for that I am part of you. That does not mean you’re gay. It means we’re human. We are all different. We don’t all have blue eyes, blond hair, and crooked teeth. Some of us have brown skin, red hair, green eyes, long toes, and big noses. We are tall, we are short, we are fat, and we are skinny. Above all we are HUMAN.

The Holidays Are Here

It is the most painful months of the year because it reminds us how our families hate us for being different. Suicide rates increase during this season. Why? Why do we allow this? If you know someone that may need a hug, a family, or a friend, go to him or her, invite her to your house for the holidays and show them that not all families are hateful. Not all families hid behind religion and you accept us for who we are.


Catholic, Christian, Gay, Holiday, Jewish, Lesbian

Meet the author

author avatar Andres Fragoso Jr
Andres is an avid reader and writer. As a gay man he works hard when writing to promote non-stereotypical gay personification.

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author avatar Steve Kinsman
23rd Dec 2014 (#)

As the brother of a gay man who didn't come out until he was thirty due to family attitudes I applaud you for writing this Andres. Well done.

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author avatar Andres Fragoso Jr
23rd Dec 2014 (#)

Thank you for your kind words.

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author avatar Ginger Edwards
24th Dec 2014 (#)

Thank you for being my friend Andres.

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author avatar Lady Aiyanna
23rd Dec 2014 (#)

I am a tomboy but not gay. Just dislike bloody men getting credits because of their fucking penises. Cut them off and they are just girls without a chest line.

Honestly a real male is not an Alpha but a beta one and being gay is a choice of lifestyle not the way you are made.

I am perfectly normal. Life made me see the difference and walk out from my marriage with child. Just don't want another male/female or otherwise again.... Enough....

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author avatar Angela b
28th Dec 2014 (#)

Great article and so important to remind people of the emotions and rejection that come with the holidays, especially for those not accepted on the ground of thier orientation.

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author avatar Vickie Collins
18th Jan 2015 (#)

As a gay crossdresser, I have to say that my angst at the holidays has to do with general dysfunction in my family as a whole and not the hatred of their religious bias, altough there is, of course some of that.

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