A Glimpse of the Otherside

Wendy Porter-Ouellet By Wendy Porter-Ouellet, 7th Jun 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Poetry

Many years ago I started suffering from horrendous migraine headaches, and my doctor prescribed numerous medications to try and help me, unfortunately, he provided me with very strong pain meds and to make a long story short, I became addicted to prescription pain meds, and my life changed in many ways. This is a poem I wrote about those dark days which I am happy to say, God delivered me from.

Those Brutal Early Years

Pain; sudden, excruciating.
My head, locked in a vice-like grip,
While some alien tool of torture hammers ruthlessly, repeatedly
Ignoring my anguished prayers for relief
Gravitating toward the deepest darkness
Seeking sanctuary
Begging is my forlorn mantra
Rising from the pit within,
The fulminating nausea unites with a smoldering panic,
Leaving me broken, without hope, ravaged
Powerless over a force so tenacious.

A Welcome Answer

At wit's end corner, an answer appears
Simplistically lovely,
So round, so white, so powerful
Mine for the taking
And I do
Discovering the sweetest relief
Yet so much more
Nothing, no one, could have prepared me
Except those who'd travelled this road before
They know intimately, inviting me into their realm of bliss and transformation,
Of life without pain,
Life with crystal-clear thought,
With panoramic views
Of a tomorrow overflowing with brilliant possibilities.
Where have I been?
Why have I not learned this truth, this world,
Where I can be all I was meant to be?

Glorious I am

Immense and profound gratitude envelops my soul,
Creating a shimmering afterglow,
Propelling me high into the atmosphere,
Of brandnew possibilities.
I am ready.
I am all powerful.
All is new, everything is achievable.
How unbelievably glorious, each new day.
Rising with a sun that has never shone brighter,
Glowing with an intensity so rapturous,
I am left ignited.
Ready to explode into action
Never before have I experienced this magnitude of wisdom,
It oozes twinkling metallic strands
Of whatever anyone needs, desires,
Including me.
Floating, drifting, light as a summer cloud
Infallible
Decisive
Super-mom. Superwoman. Super, super, super.
A whirlwind, no longer battered by life's storms
Instead, stretching each day, each moment,
To accommodate, to accomplish.
Succeeding
For a season
Believing it would last forever and a day
And in the blink of an eye,
Chaos arrived with crashing clarity.

The Fall

How foolish to believe, to trust,
Exercising my faith
In such a foul illusion.
When did the realization surface?
In those days and moments that swam deep
Into endlessly long nights?
When sleep eluded me?
Or when I ceased to truly care
About anyone, anything?
Especially myself?
Could those insane marathon counting sprees,
The ones I depended on
For confirmation of numbers
Of my medicinal treasures
Have sparked some hidden clue?
Answers escape me,
Cruelly taunting the opiate-drenched mind
I am too ashamed to claim as my own
So pathetically lost
No awareness, not really
And then...
My Saviours appeared.

Deliverance

My Angels of Mercy,
Whisking me, a mere shell,
To a haven of redemption,
An oasis of healing
Unmeasurable love delivered
Poured into my ransacked soul
Urging my debilitated body to awaken,
From its sleep of torment, tribulation
Slowly, quietly, my rebirth begins
Tarnished layers disappear,
Replaced by a profusion of light-filled newness
Bringing with it an amazing gift,
An epiphany.
Alone, serene,
Listening to that still, small voice
So crystal-clear,
The "why" of this journey
Sometimes in our lives
We are offered glimpses
Into worlds so foreign, so distant,
We strive to comprehend
Try valiantly to play a part, to fit in.
In the end, you discover
It was only for you to feel the pain,
To experience the anguish,
To know the absolute truth,
So that now,
You will be the Saviour
To all those who are on that road
The road you have travelled
Arriving safe, whole,
Ready for the next leg of the journey.

Tags

Addiction, Life Experiences, Pain, Recovery, Suffering

Meet the author

author avatar Wendy Porter-Ouellet
Introducing, Wendy Ouellet, a young-at-heart woman who is a wife, a mother of four incredible kids, a former education assistant and now a stay-at-home writer. Many interests, skills and expertise.

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Comments

author avatar Oscar Crawford Media
8th Jun 2013 (#)

I honor you.

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author avatar Wendy Porter-Ouellet
5th Mar 2014 (#)

Thank you Oscar, even though I am many months late in telling you this.

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