A Man Should Take Initiative in Three Main Areas

Harris Mungai By Harris Mungai, 19th Feb 2015 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Sexuality & Gender

As i stated earlier in my previous article that a man should take initiative-a real man takes initiative.
Here are some of the areas that a Man should mostly focus on as far as taking initiative is concerned.

1. Relationships

Generally, a man is expected to pursue a woman. He is supposed to give leadership in a dating relationship. It should not be the woman pushing the man away from sex or nagging the dude to state his level of interest. A man ought to defend boundaries in relationship. Often men take the co-driver's seat or the back seat. A real man takes the driver's seat and determines the character and direction of the relationship.
A real man initiates discussions to confront relationship or marriage issues. If it is your woman who has to bring up relational issues all the time,you need to man up brother!
A real man will act.Act when his daughter or son is out of line. Act to deal with finances and plan for the family's future. Act to start a relationship or end a wrong one. Act to challenge a habit that is destroying his life and relationships. Act to diffuse tension between his boss or dad. Act to stop an unhealthy relationship with a workmate. That is what a man should do,take initiative. The default of most men,since Adam,is to sit by and watch as things deteriorate. Many men 'play soft' when they are expected to 'play the man' in relationships.

Why does a man hate being pushed by his woman to do something? Because it reminds him that he has lost initiative. Why does a man sulk or go quiet when it is the woman rebuking him about misbehaviour in the relationship? Because that means that he is not leading as he should.

2. Faith

A man should guide his family in the issue of faith and values. God gave Adam guidelines for good living. He had freedom to freely eat of the trees in the garden,but there was one he was to avoid. Gid had taught him how to lead a good,uncomplicated life. He was to model that and pass it on to his clan and associates. Again,he played the passive card when his woman,in his presence,was challenged in those very values. He didn't defend them or reinforce them in his woman's mind. He refused to take initiative and defend his convictions.
A man is the chief custodian of faith and values. God designed it that way; our cultures have always played to that tune. Elders set and kept the standards in the tribe and community. They formed the assemblies-they decided what was acceptable and what was not. This was down with the beliefs if the tribe. The elders were the priests; they attended to the altars and sacrificed on behalf of their families. Jib and Joshua were spiritual leaders of their houses.
Man,do not be passive about faith and values. You are a father and you represent the creator to your family and others around you. Take the initiative and read the Bible to your children. Answer their faith questions. Take them to church. Lead them to prayer for food and before they go to sleep. Actively guide them in matters of faith. Faith answers the ultimate questions: where did I come from? Why am I here? What happens after death? Who am I? Man,initiate these discussions at home. Remember,you can only guide in faith matters if you are clear in what you believe in. Where are you in your journey of faith? You will do everything around you a favor,especially those watching you (wife,kids and friends),if you clarify your faith.

3. Decisions

Passive men are indecisive. They take forever to figure out what to do,when to do it and how to do it. Passivity paralyzes. There is wisdom in stewing over a decision to make it right but there is folly in constant procrastination. Man,do not be cowardly or fearful;after you have considered the facts and sought God's help,make the call. Be decisive.
If you generally make crisis decisions,you lack initiative. Initiative anticipates tomorrow by deciding today. Decide today to say no to the bottle or to porn. Decide today to say no to oppression or corruption at work. That's initiative. Decide now too marry that woman or stop wasting her time. Decide today to confront that unproductive worker or bad habit. Decide today to take responsibility and fix the problem.

Man,reject passivity and take initiative!
There are different causes of passivity in a man.A harsh parent, an emotional wound,a bullying experience,lack of fatherly mentoring,socialization or upbringing, and as tragedy or failure. Whatever the cause,rise up and confront this disease. Root it out! A realm man takes initiative in relationships,in faith and values,and in decision-making.


Male, Man, Manhood, Masculine, Masculinity

Meet the author

author avatar Harris Mungai
I developed an interest in writing when I was in elementary school and since then this passion keeps on burning in me.Thank you Wikinut for this chance to express myself here.

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author avatar Shamarie
19th Feb 2015 (#)

This is very good advice, Harris! Thanks for sharing!

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author avatar Harris Mungai
19th Feb 2015 (#)

Welcome very much Shamarie.......thanks for taking a look at it.

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author avatar Retired
20th Feb 2015 (#)

Yes, this is a real man, I know men that runs after any women in front of his wife, this is so sad! And this is a men from the church! A real man has self-control, and give his life for his family! Truly awesome article! I hope
many men read this article and make a change in their lifestyle! Awesome and thank you!

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author avatar Harris Mungai
20th Feb 2015 (#)

Thank you Carmen for those kind words.

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author avatar Carol Roach
20th Feb 2015 (#)

This must be a culture clash, because I would not tolerate a man who feels he has to make all the decisions, undermining my decision, compromise is often the best thing in a relationship

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author avatar Harris Mungai
20th Feb 2015 (#)

Yes it is Carol,but there are universal standards to adhere to.
Thanks for taking time to read.

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author avatar Jenny Heart
23rd Feb 2015 (#)

wow another thought provoking piece. I enjoyed it!

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