A Note to a Rapist 2 .....In the Form of a Pill

shallimarRose By shallimarRose, 20th Apr 2012 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Poetry

I began writing about my ordeal early in 2010 after forty years of silence. Flashbacks had re-emerged after almost forty years. I had never told anyone. not even my mother. Suddenly after never writing or speaking of it it poured from my pen again and again... I am posting only a few here.
Thank you for reading. sR

In The Form Of A Pill

I close my eyes
the misty night air
tightens in my throat
....I gasp
re-living you like a desperate lyric
reverberating over and over again
....that night
a malignancy stained
into the fundamental existance
of trusting ignorance
....a chartreuse soul
reading scarlet letters
and blaming myself
for your friendly portrayal
and lustful betrayal
in the form of a pill
slipped into the fragrance of saffron
when the roses were in bloom
and only you knew the intensity
of a broken heart lost and alone
in the crumbled foundation
of a troubled remnant
where fabric of a young bride
had been ripped and torn to shreds
in the wake of a marriage
and the wake up call of a mistress

....I was broken and helpless
..........and YOU

disguised as a friend
moved in for the kill
in the form of a pill
dazed and confused
intoxicated by a sip
of tasted betrayal
that left me lethargic
in the arms of a monster
when even then
you were not man enough
to go it alone
and the two of you
still echo in sounds
of muffled laughter
and unclear words
that follow me
forever trapped
in the dark corners
of a cerebral mask
where shame and self blame
lived for years
in the memory of four missing hours
that come like flashes of blinding light
and hidden memories
disguised as a friend
that stole my will
in the form of a pill...

© 2010 bj smith
aka shallimarRose

for more on this topic see also:

"A Note to a Rapist, STILL Raped by a friend"
"A true story of Betrayal"
"We can Forgive but How Do We Forget?"
"Only Now Do I see I Was Blameless. Rape is NOT Your Fault"
"Reflections of a Broken Soul"


Tags

Anger, Rape Victims, True Story

Meet the author

author avatar shallimarRose
Born Barbara Ann poet/lyricist.
poetry with compassion, rhyme free verse & some romance/mild erotuca..
married w children

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Comments

author avatar Md Rezaul Karim
21st Apr 2012 (#)

Well written and expressed deep feelings -
thanks for sharing.

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author avatar shallimarRose
23rd Apr 2012 (#)

thank you Rezaul.., sR

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author avatar Noreen Ann Snyder
22nd Apr 2012 (#)

Wow, Shallimar, an emotional, powerful poem. This one pulls at the heartstrings! Well written. Thanks for sharing, Shallimar!

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author avatar shallimarRose
23rd Apr 2012 (#)

thanks Noreen... xoxo

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author avatar hussainanchal
23rd Apr 2012 (#)

the feelings of a rape victim can be understood only by the person who suffered it.. a vivid description of a soul lost in pain. and expressed in touching words.

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author avatar shallimarRose
23rd Apr 2012 (#)

thank you my friend.. sR

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author avatar Han Van Meegerin
24th Apr 2012 (#)

Keep healing.

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author avatar shallimarRose
24th Apr 2012 (#)

thank you... I plan on it...sR

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