Alcoholics Diary: Confession of A Drunkard

Marcus WritesStarred Page By Marcus Writes, 5th Mar 2015 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Essays

Alcoholism has been one of the major impediments to self-actualization. At some point, alcohol ruins countless lives and continue to wreck the lives of many

Confession of A Drunkard

I wish I never knew alcohol from the start.

It was a rainy Saturday afternoon when I received a heart-breaking gesture from a friend. I was devastated and couldn’t find a relief somewhere. I tried to stay home to avoid the temptation of doing something stupid but my crib is subtle to endure; the silence is deafening. So, I venture outside—to the outside world of cruelty, noise, and imbalance.

I took my dinner alone and the next thing… I am with two of my friends holding bottle of beers and screaming at our loudest voice. After almost two years, I am back with the Curse of the Alcohol.

2 YEARS AGO (Pre-alcoholism)

During my college days, I am tagged as the ultimate drunkard. I would go out from my regular class with five to seven of my friends and drink until dawn. I remember drinking almost everyday for three months. It started when one bottle of beer; then, a few conversations follows. Our table is then filled with empty bottles. Hour after hour, the empty bottles just mount up uncontrollably.

There were moments when my senses would tell me to stop but for some unknown force inside me, I usually demand for more. We would drink unstoppably wild, with the loudest voices and non-sense topics. I will start feeling the heaviness of my head after three to four buckets of strong beer. I would ask my friends if we can go home and they would demand for more.

My face feels hotter than usual. Then, I realize the sun rays beam from the window hitting my wasted face. I’m at home. I’m alive. I will usually grab my mobile phone and call my other friends. I then struck with a compelling question, how did I get home? What happened?

I have lived a life of a drunkard. Too scared to face any issues with my life, I creep around the darkness of alcoholism. There were days that I would choose to drink all day and skip my classes at the University. My allowance and extra money are predominantly spent on bottles of beers and partying which caused a monstrous debt and financial imbalance. My relationship with the rest of family members was distorted. I scream at them, get angry with no reason. Instead of helping others, I create problems with my arrogance and illogical mind.

It was like I was a walking dead; living each day bottle after bottles. I don’t have direction and I cannot find a good reason to quit or the courage to stop my unlikely addiction. After graduation, I made a decision. I left my city.

PRESENT (The Escape)

It was staying away from my friends that I was successful in dealing with my drinking problem. It has been two long years away from home and eventually I manage my drinking problem. It started with reducing the number of bottles per session until I made to drinking bottle per visit or hang-out.

After a year, I no longer drink on a regular basis. I just get a bottle on special events like birthdays or celebrations. It also helped when I none of my drinking friends is around to tempt me towards the bad habits. For two years, I got no invites which is the best thing that happened leaving my hometown.

SOFT COMING BACK?

Last weekend, I was massively stressed at life so I had a couple of bottles with a good friend from a hometown. He is now working at my current city. At first, we started with one bottle then one bucket then it was late when I noticed we already consumed three. The scene was a déjà vu of my past as I went home unconscious of my immediate environment. I am not sure if I have inflicted damage to anyone or ruined some properties. I was drunk and lost.

When I woke up, the daunting truth came knocking—I got drunk again. It scared me for some minutes but I manage to gain composure. I don’t want to go back to that the same life where I am caught on a whirlwind. I don’t want to abuse my body with excessive alcohol and lack of rest or sleep.

Alcoholism is a problem which needs immediate attention. It happens in our society for various reasons relative to the person. People suffering from alcoholism should not be judged but should be given understanding, support and help when needed. Life is too precious to get wasted on alcohols. I have been through that life before and I will never go back.

Tags

Alchoholic, Alcohol, Alcohol Abuse, Alcohol Addiction, Alcohol Consumption, Alcohol Poisoning, Alcoholic Beverages, Alcoholic Drinks, Alcoholics, Alcoholics Anonymous, Alcoholism

Meet the author

author avatar Marcus Writes
I write to express and not to impress. Writing is my ultimate passion;the blood which runs through my veins. Visit me at www.brewingabetteryou.com

More of me @ www.brewingabetteryou.com

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Comments

author avatar SaigonDeManila
5th Mar 2015 (#)

Congratulations for the first star..well deserved for a very compelling article!

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author avatar Marcus Writes
6th Mar 2015 (#)

@SaigonDeManila Thank you sir! I never expected it to come. This is inspiring ;-)

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author avatar SaigonDeManila
6th Mar 2015 (#)

Told you it's more fun and fullfilling here than the other side hahaha! On my more than 300 articles written on that balloon none landed in the homepage nonethelss featured.

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author avatar Carol Roach
6th Mar 2015 (#)

thank you for sharing your story, alcohol can change everything for people that is for sure. My addiction is food.

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author avatar Marcus Writes
6th Mar 2015 (#)

@Carol Thanks for the comment. It has been my pleasure sharing my experiences here

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author avatar SaigonDeManila
6th Mar 2015 (#)

Sasarap ng pulutan and special flagging ang SMB!!! Wohooo nakaka panginig!

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author avatar peachpurple
4th Aug 2015 (#)

since you had quit alcohol , why did you drink again? You should decline instead. You were almost hooked again

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