All in The Game of Love

Memba Ben By Memba Ben, 21st Oct 2017 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Columns & Opinions

Respect for one another while in a relationship is a very important thing - a concept a friend had to learn the hard way.

"Just the two of us - We can make it if we try": Bill Withers

The boys and I decided to have a gathering with our significant others, just so that we could get to know each other. We met up and for the most part, everyone was getting along swimmingly. Last to show up was an acquaintance of mine with his date and while they were cool with everyone, you could see/ tell that there was some sort of tension between the two because they were subtly antagonizing each other whenever the opportunity presented itself.

We as the boys had picked up on it based on the way the guy went on about his woman in the past but at the gathering, it was clear as day that they were just keeping up appearances.

However, the tension simmered between the two as the festivities went along. The women were in the T.V and entertainment room, drinking wine and talking their own things while the guys were outside grilling meat for everyone, all the while drinking and talking their own thing (which I will get to in a bit). We settled in to have dinner and watch a movie with good company. Everyone was having a blast and the night was going well… up until the guy wanted to leave.

As earlier mentioned, both groups were talking their own things but we as the guys were talking about women. Somehow the conversation found its way to us talking about the power dynamic in relationships and whether it should be shared or if one person should be the one to wear the pants. It was an interesting conversation but at the same time, shone light on some of the beliefs that some of the gents held. Whether they could be blamed on the way they saw things is up for debate but it is clear that they formed their beliefs based on how things were back in the day.

To set the scene, both the ladies and gents were just chilling and talking stupid things when this guy decided to let us know that he and his date were leaving. The issue came when his lady spoke up and flat out told him that she wasn’t going especially when she was still enjoying herself.

I’m not sure if the guy felt the need to prove something or if he felt disrespected but I suspect that our earlier conversation about power dynamics in relationships played a part in the way he acted. Out of the blue, this guy gave the lady an ultimatum:

“If you are not going to come, I’m going to leave you”

Because of the sheer shock, the whole room fell silent as a graveyard.

Did this guy just pull that shit?

We couldn’t believe our ears.

The chick whom the threat was leveled at was initially embarrassed but to her credit, composed herself and came back like a champ to deliver a knockout.

“It's fine, I can take an Uber…”

I couldn’t help myself. I (along with everyone else) died laughing. There was nothing the guy could do but just stand there with an embarrassed look on his face while he took it all in. Eventually when the laughter had mostly died down, the guy gave a halfhearted laugh and said that it was a poorly told joke but you could see that he knew it backfired on him and it burned him which led to the guy being quiet for the remainder of the evening.

Folks, NEVER do that shit. It screams insecurity and it makes you look real bad. If you are having problems, just sort them out behind closed doors. Most importantly, treat your partner with the same respect as you'd expect them to give you. After all, they are an extension of you just as much as you are of them.


Personal Experience, Personal Experiences, Relationship Issues, Relationship Problems, Relationships

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author avatar Memba Ben
A fan's view on the business of football.

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