Angst, memories, depression and release

Jongleur By Jongleur, 11th Oct 2015 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Poetry

The time of year that surrounds the holidays, is stressful for most people, to say the least. Depression and suicide spike during those times, which can be attributed in part to SAD, or "Seasonal Affective Disorder" in other words, shorter days, weaker sunlight trick the brain and cause depression. I think it is a very complex set of factors.

“Smoldering Resentments” By Jerry E Smith 10/10/15

Autumn for me, is very bittersweet, filled with memories both good and bad;
Memories of the smells of pies and cakes cooking, the fire crackling in the
Fireplace, anticipation of the gathering of my family for the meals at
Thanksgiving and Christmas. Being the youngest of ten children, and
Living as we did in the woods, I was always eager for my older siblings
To come and bring my nieces and nephews, some of whom were my
Age, and some of whom I didn’t see for several years at a time. We
Always had a great time, BUT, my older siblings always brought
Along the bitterness they held towards each other from THEIR
Childhoods, and when this inevitably boiled over, I would be
At a loss, not understanding what they were fighting about.
I understand it now, and even today, my somewhat
Dysfunctional Family still harbors and nurtures
These same, ongoing and totally stupid angers
Towards each other, and now that I am older,
I have had some of it seep into me as well.
Such a sad state of affairs. To reach the
Age I am at now, and be unable to just
Get together with my loved ones
Without the spectre of the past
Resentments, rearing its ugly
Head. Friends, please avoid
This at all costs, if you can.
“Smoldering Resentments”
By Jerry E Smith 10/10/15

"Let the Healing Begin" by Jerry E Smith 10/10/15

We see things about us, dimly, indistinctly, through the lens of our own
Experiences. Our minds perceive things as we do, because of what
We’ve been through, therefore we don’t really see what is around
Us, we see what we believe is there. This is a very, very poor way
To go through our lives. It’s difficult, maybe impossible for some
To throw off the shackles of our pasts, but we really must try.
The old saying about history being repeated by those who
Don’t learn from it, is true. Discard the pain, anger and
Anguish, and you’ll see a much more beautiful world
Around you. Despair and unhappiness, are choices.
Choose to be happy. Choose to see the beauty
Around you, unadulterated by the tinge of
Hurt you carry with you; you must let that
Heal. Forgiving yourself, is the first step.
Forgive yourself and heal. It all begins
With a step, a decision to change.
You must help yourself, then,
You can help others. Forgive
Others, and let the healing
Begin. Forgive yourself
And let the healing,
Begin. Let it Be.
Jerry E Smith


Depression, Family, Healing

Meet the author

author avatar Jongleur
I play piano and sing for the Elderly in care facilities in Atlanta for 8 yrs. I am also a CNA (Certified Nursing Assistant) I work for a home care agency now, as a patient transport.

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author avatar Fern Mc Costigan
12th Oct 2015 (#)

Awesome poem friend very inspired!

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author avatar Jongleur
12th Oct 2015 (#)

Thank you Fern. I appreciate it very much.♥

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author avatar Stella Mitchell
12th Oct 2015 (#)

Yes ... there is great insight and wisdom in these verse Jerry
many blessings to you
Stella <><

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author avatar Jongleur
12th Oct 2015 (#)

Thanks again Ms Michell

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author avatar Lady Aiyanna
12th Oct 2015 (#)

Husband has this. He has bipolar in which SAD is part of it.
Not going to say much, its a challenge but his mother takes care of him now as they wanted it that way. I took my offspring and walked away.

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author avatar brendamarie
12th Oct 2015 (#)

Wonderful and very inspirational. thank-you for sharing. Two of my sisters have bipolar

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author avatar Jongleur
12th Oct 2015 (#)

Thank you Lady Aiyanna, and Brenda, I do think I have a touch of SAD, and I know I have a diagnosis for 'clinical depression'; have been taking meds for years, so I am very much better adjusted nowadays.

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author avatar Adimchi
8th Nov 2015 (#)

Hello Jerry. I enjoyed both articles. The first reminds me of my own family. We are 9 nine siblings, all with different personalities. There are also resentments in the family. I am the seventh. The last are twins (a boy and a girl), and they are past their mid 50ies. Even though I don't think my situation is not as bad as yours, the last boy however doesn't have any relationship with two of my elderly siblings. Its a shame we can't get over our hurts and ego.

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author avatar Jongleur
1st Apr 2016 (#)

Hi Adimchi, I didn't know you had come over here. I was about to delete my account, as I haven't been here in a long time. I mainly started this as a way to make a little money from my writings, but when they decided to stop the pay out, I thought "why keep on with it"?
I hope you have a better time here, I've had some good comments from those who follow me, so I think I will let the account stand for a bit longer. ♥

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