Anise and the Snake God (short story - original)

Vickie Collins By Vickie Collins, 1st Mar 2015 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Fictional Narrative

This is an attempt on my part to write a horror/religious/cultural tale.  Perhaps on a different world, perhaps on earth.  The picture was the challenge in one of my groups and was written about 4 years ago original title On the Percipice. The picture was a picture of a man-made looking structure with a door that seem to be going into a pit. It is posted nowhere else on the web now. I started to use a picture from pixabay but decided not to, and have no snake pictures. I avoid the things.

The story

Anise breathlessly considered where she was.  She had never wanted to be here.  She had not planned to be here but here she was anyway. How had this happened?

Most of it, of course, was due to the machinations of her mother, Ashlere. Mother always had a way of getting whatever it was she wanted.  And  this particular time, her father had joined in,no doubt for reasons of his own.  All the great clans fought over this "honor."   Every 5 years, it was time for a new Avatar.  An Avatar was chosen from the  very best of the young women of the the clans. 

Her purity and her intelligence were rigiously evualuated before she was ever considered for such an honor.  Of course, it had always been Anise contention that the girl got nothing out if it. 

After all, the very point of being Avatar was to be dead, and as the Sages and Holy Sisters said, thereby bring blessings on the Clans.

Of course, the Clan that had provided the last Avatar was always celebrated and given the best seats in Temple, and the best booths at Market.  The "best booth in Market was her father's reason for supporting this scheme of her mothers.  There was considerable honor bestowed on those that, by presenting the Avatar, brought prosperity and blessings on the Clans.  And certainly her mother, Ashlere would revel in that.  She was already well thought of.  If she were mother of the Avatar, she would have everyone in her debt, and Ashlere was certainly not one to let anybody forget that fact.

But Anise, herself saw no benefit out of being the Avatar.  She saw no benefit in being dead.  "As Ethis is my witness, I never did anything to make them think I deserved" such an questionable honor.   She knew for a fact that the only reason she was chosen to enter the School of the Sisters was because her mother was old school friends with the Holy Mother.  

She had done the least amount of work she could on her classes, often passing a course disprite her efforts to do just the opposite.  Was it her fault that the other girls were so stupid that she ended up looking good in comparison anyway?

Still, she had been shocked when the Holy Mother declared, last Penstil day, that she, Anise, was the best of the best, and would be presented for the God on this High Holy Day.  

So it was that Anise stood in her white flowing gown, at the lip of the temple from which the God would slither forth to take this years offering.  If he liked her, and found her worthy, he would eat, and in return give the Clans good crops and good business for the next 5 years.  Or so the Sisters and the Writtings said.  Of course, the God might, possibly, decline her as an unworthy offering.  Nobody living today had even heard of that ever happening. In fact, none of the books even recorded such an occasion. 

But they knew what happened if an offering was rejected.  The girl who was offered and was rejected, was exiled into the outter wastelands and her family lost much honor.  In addition, the Clans were certain that much atonement would have to take place if they were to survive.

As Anise sat considering the dilemma of her situation, with no positive outcomes open to her, she suddenly heard the slither of the Great Snake God coming up the corridor from deep under ground.  No, she had not long to live!!

Her last thought was "what a horrible sound...and what a horrible religion."


Horror, Sacrifice, Science Fiction, Snake, Snake God, Virgin, Weird

Meet the author

author avatar Vickie Collins
I am a gay crossdresser who writes under my non-de-plume. I have a variety of interests, science fiction, religion, psychology. I recently moved from Nashville Tn to New Orleans.

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author avatar Carol Roach
1st Mar 2015 (#)

this would make such a good book

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author avatar M G Singh
2nd Mar 2015 (#)

Lovely story

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author avatar Eve Sherrill York
18th Mar 2015 (#)

Horror and religion--What an interesting combo. Great!

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author avatar siddhinfo
6th Apr 2015 (#)

After reading your article I feel that you can write a book on such stories. Good luck

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