Beating Self-Doubt

Memba Ben By Memba Ben, 2nd Aug 2017 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Personal Experiences

A personal tale about self-doubt and getting over it. If a blithering idiot such as myself can take the plunge, then so can you.

Back on my positivity vibes again!

I turned twenty-five on the thirtieth of July and was generally feeling upbeat about life until someone close pointed out that I am more or less a failure in life. They made it a point to mention that I've got nothing to show for the time I spent living whereas other people my age have their own cars, houses, families and are independent.

Now, I'm usually an easy going, laid back person but when they brought that up, it cut me to the core. It made me feel worthless as all hell, that I'm wasting my life and left me somewhat disillusioned.

Make no mistake, I tried to motivate myself and keep positive in the hope that things will get better, and that I can continue but when the person said all of that, it just killed me.

I was beginning to ask myself all sorts of negative questions:

Did I change for nothing?

What was the point of working so hard?

Is it even worth it to continue?

If people are still going to view me in a negative light irrespective of how hard I work, is there even a point?

All of this was leading me to a point of no return until I just said fuck it, and took a long walk to think things through. During this walk; I looked at where I am in comparison to where I was and everything came right in a moment of clarity.

I realized that this all started when started comparing me to my peers. Why they felt that they needed to do that, I’ll never know (perhaps a misguided attempt at motivation) but what I came to remember is that we aren’t in a race to see who’s got the best life. Everyone’s living their own lives and working towards their own goals as I am.

It’s easy to judge yourself against that guy who’s driving a posh car and think “damn, when will I get there” or look down on someone and think “that person is a waste of space” but we forget that we all have our own circumstances and specific obstacles.

I think the best thing to do is be comfortable in our own skin and that comes from reminding ourselves of the positive/good things we have done/are able to do in our lives.

To people who you feel are judging you; fuck them. You’d find that half the time, we are worried about what people would think and while it’s good to do so once in a while as it brings a bit of normality and humility in our lives, if prolonged; can lead to situations where you hold yourself back from what could be a huge opportunity.

Remember that you aren’t living life for them but rather for yourself. Do what makes you happy however at the same time, be practical about it.

Speaking of self-doubt and it holding you back, there comes a point where you are just going to have to say fuck it, and take the plunge but be sure to taper your expectations. Even if things don’t work out, remember that failing doesn’t make you a failure but rather that things didn’t go my way…this time.

In the end, all that should matter is yourself and your welfare. Just remember how far you’ve come and how self-doubt didn’t stop you then and what goals you want to achieve and that self-doubt shouldn’t stop you now.

So… to answer those earlier questions:

Did I change for nothing?
Nope, in fact I am far from done.

What was the point of working so hard?
To prove to myself that despite my fuckups, I can indeed achieve my goals.

Is it even worth it to continue?
Yes as I’ve come too far and overcame too much to throw in the towel now.

If people are still going to view me in a negative light irrespective of how hard I work, is there even a point?
Not really as people will think whatever they want.
But fuck them…

Just do you.


Personal Development, Personal Experience, Personal Growth, Self Help

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author avatar Memba Ben
A fan's view on the business of football.

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