Belief In Oneself

Memba Ben By Memba Ben, 11th Feb 2018 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Personal Experiences

Just a short message of encouragement to those who are struggling with self doubt. As Dr Karl Menninger once said "Attitudes are more important than facts". Even if the situation may look bad, never doubt your ability to survive through it.

"Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain" - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I used to be filled with all kinds of insecurities. I was always feeling as if something bad was going to happen and that made me cautious, afraid and miserable.

Then one day, I hit rock bottom.

For a long time, I was harboring feelings of bitterness over things I ultimately had no control over and eventually took it out on innocent people which resulted in me driving them away.

This isn't fair...
Why did this happen to me?

I was getting dangerously close to hosting a lifelong pity party when something came over me (most likely common sense) and forced me to look at things in one of two ways. Either I wallow in my self-pity and tell myself that this is how life is going to be from here on out or I could put in the effort, work towards what I want and even if I should fail, can go to the grave knowing that I gave it my all.

To quote Norman Vincent Peale’s book, The Power of Positive Thinking:

“You can be unhappy if you want to be. It’s the easiest thing in the world. Go around telling yourself that things aren’t going well, that nothing is working out and you will be sure to be unhappy.”

Let me tell you, it is all too easy to fall into that pit of regret and sorrow and far harder to climb out of it. Thinking negative thoughts only produces fatigue and frustration. Should you feel you are getting overwhelmed by all the negativity in your life, don’t be afraid to stop and take time to assess your thoughts.

For example, there are many times where I would be presented an opportunity (whether it be by God or Luck, I don’t know) and when I think of taking it, that voice in my mind creeps up and starts planting seeds of doubt.

It’s too good to be true…
What if I make a fool of myself?
Most probably, you will fail…

That voice can be a real bitch and if you aren’t careful, can dissuade you from taking opportunities. Learn to slow things down. Stop overthinking things, look at the pros and cons then take a decision. Once you have that decision, find someone you trust, tell them of your situation and what decision you came to and get their thoughts. Align yourself with people who can be supportive of you. Whether or not your decision was the right one, you will at least take comfort that you will always have someone who has your back.

Learn to expect, not to doubt. I used to believe that the best way to dealing with situations in life is that you should hope for the best but prepare for the worst but after much reflection, I can see that thinking in that manner is very cynical. I think that because of the multiple setbacks I’ve (along with many others) had to face, a person becomes more negative towards things as time goes on and in my experience, when things are seemingly looking up; I get cautiously optimistic but at the same time retain some doubt so as to not get too disappointed which I think hinted at a bigger problem:

The fear of failure.

Once again, to quote the Power of Positive Thinking (a fantastic book by the way):

“By learning to expect, you bring everything into the realm of possibility. You free yourself from doubt and put everything into what it is you are pursuing.”

In the end, even if things don’t work out the way you would’ve hoped, try your best not to be disheartened. Disappointments are bound to happen in life but those failures aren’t what make or break us, but rather it is our perseverance in spite of them that defines your character.


Believing In Yourself, Having Faith, Hope, Personal Experience

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author avatar Memba Ben
A fan's view on the business of football.

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author avatar Vicky Pino
27th Feb 2018 (#)

Well, I regard myself an optimistic and possitive person even though I don't agree with the trend of possitve thinking so popular on these days aimed at accepting things the way they are nowadays (hunger, misery, wars and so on) but I'm a possitive person and I've been one even in my very gloomy and desperate days. When an unexpected problem arise and when I say a problem, I really mean it's a problem, I at first have been overwhelmed by it, but shortly after, I told myself "Dear, you've got to do something to sort this thing out" and I put myself into action to find a solution to it. Thanks for your article!

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author avatar Memba Ben
19th Mar 2018 (#)

Hi Vicky

Positive thinking definitely isn't the answer to everything but I find it can go a long way in helping. Keep up the optimism and thank you for sharing you view!

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