CHAINge

barghav hariharan By barghav hariharan, 10th Mar 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Columns & Opinions

This is a blog dedicated to working women of the Indian household. and also to the young women who feel insecure to step out on the streets of modern india, which we consider to be empowered with values and culture. is that really the true picture of modern India. or behind the scenes does there exist a nasty side to it.?

CHAINge

CHAINge

Is change a term just scribbled in the sands of time? Is change just another term that we find while flipping through the pages of a dictionary? Or is it just a term that comes out of our mouth due to cacoepy?
Sitting and answering these on women's day surely does mean a lot to our society. Women's day- a day to be rejoiced and thankful to god for creating the most defining sect of the society. People who take any mistake and every mistake as wind bruising through their hair instead of taking it to heart and reacting to it. People who devote their lives and souls for their counterpart and for the well being of the family. People who have satisfied the lust and love of men over the ages. Being a female in india doesnt just mean all this but much more. Men, along with the customs and rituals have changed over the years. And so has the society. The prices, which have become a hyperbole have forced both, the husband and the wife to work to supplement the family's needs and necessity. This need, though answered by the women of the family has created another problem; which is the refusal of men to erase the convention of women being the ones who need to answer to the needs and necessities of the household. Women in the early twentieth century and before were destined to sit back at home and do the work enthrusted on them as they were the "non office going lot of the society". There were many factors that led to this term given to this beautiful yet unextricated lot of the society. One being the health problems that they, even without any fault of theirs, were forced to face; two being their inability to work or exert themselves as much as men could do. These problems and factors have only made women stronger and tougher at heart to stand next to men and rub shoulders with them in every field of life. But over the years astounding levels of technology has given them windows to free themselves from this society CHAINED to convention. But this convention though beaten hasn't changed the mind set of men in the society who still think that the job of ablusion in any aspect is meant only for women.
When the men in the society work for 8 hours in a day, women of the present generation work for fourteen hours a day. When women wait for sunrise to finish their first round of work in the morning, men of the household wait for it to open their eyes. When women wait for their offsprings to sleep before they even deform the bed, men find it necessary to hold a remote control in their hands and heat up the bed right after sunset. When men sit behind lackadaisical on a Sunday afternoon, women have already written down ttheir hectic schedule the previous night. where do we go to change this convention of men being the "working lot of the society". Are they really the working lot.? do they really deserve that name.?
Women, being souls working so much and spending every bit of their grey matter to store details about the family deserve multitude times more respect and dignity than what they are embodied with right now. A case of molestation every day. An attempt rape every hour. Women being harrassed every minute. Is this the respect our society can come up with? Now rape doesn't stop with just making a girl lose her virginity but it is shoving insult up her body and discrimination up her sleeve, making her lay naked in the midst of a million people, using other women as tools to make innocent believe they are moving with the right company. Has the society lost all of it's culture and value and reputation over the years. Has the agglomeration of righteousness and Dharma abated over the years. Whether it has or not, what is present now is the frugal remains of the wonderful past which we need to build and move windward in our approach towards women.
Is the solution for this barbarious lust child marriage..? Were the desires of men met at in a much younger age when child marriage was practised..? are we, men, chained to lust..? Will there be a change to extradicate this excruciating torture that women have been burdened with..? or will they still be admonished..?
These questions surely deserve a special round of thinking on Women's day. by encouraging child marriage were our forefathers right yet again..???

Tags

Women, Women Discrimination, Women Empowerment, Women Undiscriminated, Womens Day, Womens Issues, Womens Rights, Womens Work

Meet the author

author avatar barghav hariharan
I'm a second year engineering student. studying at amrita school of engineering, coimbatore. i love sports and im basically interested in writing articles about reformations and change.!

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Comments

author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
10th Mar 2013 (#)

Well said, but I feel the root of the problem lies in the way our films portray men and women. Women are still an object of lust and men can beat up hundreds. I have never seen such films in years. It just does not make sense but there are few who get carried away! - siva

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author avatar Lady Aiyanna
10th Mar 2013 (#)

Now, I was born and raised in India and to this day dislike the Indian garb and have owned just 5 Salwars in my lifetime and the last one was in 2002 and none after that.
3 Gagra Cholis all for wedding purposes as i my weddding because I am marrried too a Hindu and now one because I model in an International land. 2 Sarees till date.

I landed in India in December 2012 wearing a short dress about 6 inches above my knees and dress tht way to this date, despite the Delhi Rape case.

I am a dancer, on my own acccord annd have travelled in public transportation like this and yes very popular and well known for being dressed this way along withh my Ray Ban Sunglasses or alternatiive wayfarers. Been like this riht from childhood.

What I am is the way I will always be and ye, myy parents encourage me, my husband too. I disliked the statement, we are women so have to be secoond grade citizens of the the land and baby vendingg machinnes. I told my motheer in-law oofff for this and was supported bby my huusband for doing so as I fought for his views.
The only time I moved away from the country when my husband was transferred to Singapore and subsquentlly to New Zealand where I had my son.

Yes, I am a mother and a fashionable one who has the guts to dress and be myself aand even walk into my sons' all boyys schoooll dressed this way and get one of the highest respect when out there. Actully whereever I go, just for being me and they even give me added protection just for beingg myself if I am a regular.

While I dont deny the abovee from happpenning in India, I can tell you the wwomen andd the men out there are extremely argumentative and coonstntlly warring for their ego nd honestly I prefer to stay away from the mainstream Indian community bbecaause of this and just mix wwith the cream off peoplee and live in such a locaality too.
Although I have travelleed to the slums, the villages and have been amongst thee people, got molested a few times, beaten couple of men in thee past, I lovee vvissiting there but not to reside there agaiin.
The men hhave too much ego, love to fight and resoort to beating their women, wife or oothherwise and lack the resppect foor them and this is clearly pportrayed in movies of regional dissent whicch I never watcch now although I hhave watched them in thee past as a child.

When my mother in law told me I ccouldn't work in the ccorporate world, I just proved her wrong by becomng a corporate trainer and working with some of the top companies and gettiing callled an English Wife because of my education and a prostitute for sitting amongst men. Suited me fine and I told her like wise, one prostiitutee recognises anoothher as her son pays me for services to which II am legally bound to.

While he has changed lately becauuse of his mothher and family resulting in us living separately, h yea, because I am Christian, always portrayed negatiively in Indian movies (like all the crims were Michel Gonsalvis in Hiindi movies and the whore either Mona or Lily do't be silly) .

Now, I havve seen the typiall IIndian male being a bastrd, beat women on the road and get beaten in return. Men akingg passes at mothers, grandmothers etc. Many women who haave solicited these men in thhe past, geetting raped and murdered, I know three oof them and my neighbours and teachers in the same locality off living.

Its the survival of the fittest and if you know how too live and get your priorities right observe and proceed with caution ccovering each and every point in life, you are safe. Its the life of an Indian woman who is smartt enough to stand up and fight back.

I am no ones dooormat, hussband acteed like what yoou portrayed above and iis forced to pay for his mistakes living away from the familly and crying to every soul he sees, I love my wife and child because his fooolishh misbehaviour and his family upbringging cost hm the jjoys of life.

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author avatar Lady Aiyanna
10th Mar 2013 (#)

Typicall you shhoww a typical Indian the money they will love you until it is over and then curse hate and even kill you after that - been thhrouugh that tooo in the foorm off the Mother inlaw who noow crries I love my son which I don't believe because he was th worst treated i the home for being the poorest and now resspected foorr his bank ballance and cheap lifesstyle whhich inccludes not supporting his wifee and child along with mental illhealth.

Well I am a mothher, trained my son to be polite respectful and kind too all and to tell people off if they they arre rude and obnooxious.. Well, hee learns it from his mother.
If you want to make things better, get all the women to finally reolt to the male species out there and casstrate thm if they caannot behave or maintain their marital vows and walk out on their spouse rather than stayiingg with them. But 99.9% are men tied to their mothhers' apron who forgget they were victims in the society makingg it avicious cycle whe the son marries although there are exxceptions and lots of changes.

Welll I broke the chain and am proud of it although many woomeen tilll date get burrnt, baked and what not fforr theirr male ccounterparts.

Welll, it trains us for life and I thank my dad and the supportive males for thhat...

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author avatar barghav hariharan
10th Mar 2013 (#)

yes ma'am i don't disapprove with you. but you, i feel are an exception. most indian women are timid, if not all. atleast for the customs and traditions they are burdened with. you have beaten the odds and are thereby a special case. but to be frank my mother, to take an example, is a doc just like my dad. but i would swear on any possible thing that my mom works muccchhh more than my dad though he gets all the credit. i donot disapprove with the quality and quantity of work that my dad does but if my mom sits back one day and says 'guys please take up my work for the day' then we through tantrums at her and nothing, not even my dog's food is taken care of that day. it is not that we dont know to do the work, but over the years it has been embibed in our minds that to do some work men have to be pushed and pinched by the women for that work to be accomplished. all that i have said through out the blog is that this custom was practiced a few decades ago because my grandmother, though was educated, didnt work and contribute to the family's income. so was forced to sit back at home and spend the rest of her life coughing and sneezing due to the soot. but even when times have changed and women have started contributing to the family's income they still continue to take in the soot and clean the house and be ready with the food. why is my father, just taken for an example, or even me for that matter not ready to wake up before her and help her out. such foolish norms have been imbibed in men over the years.

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author avatar Lady Aiyanna
10th Mar 2013 (#)

I bbroke the shackles, it don't work beinng hard.

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author avatar Aruna
10th Mar 2013 (#)

Women upliftment or reformation should not be restricted to1sect of society. Does women's day celebration is reached to every women in India after so many of years of independence . Why &when will it happen? Only when rules & liberelisation are equal like the west?

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author avatar Phyl Campbell
2nd Feb 2014 (#)

The west (the US) says it has equality but equality is still a work in progress. Many say that to give a woman true equality is to create a whore of her. So the work continues, as it must. India has some shameful stats regarding the abuses on women. But maybe the women speak up more than here after an abuse occurs? I am not sure of any good answer. I just know much work is still needed. Thanks for sharing.

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