Christmas day on my own with just memories

Terry TrainorStarred Page By Terry Trainor, 20th Dec 2014 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Poetry

Getting on a bit now and the dear old wife passed on a few years back. It's Christmas Day and the sleet is turning to snow. It's funny that, I can make believe it's the bad weather stopping family and people coming round to wish me a happy Christmas. But I've got my memories and some fading pictures of the good old days, with my frozen turkey dinner by the microwave.

A frozen turkey dinner defrosting by my microwave

Looking out of the front room window, sleet falls on glass, it’s white then turns to water, how I miss the soft pat of snow,
There’s an old clock on the mantle piece, next to faded pictures, pictures of faded people that once were my friends,
A frozen turkey dinner defrosting by my microwave, Christmas dinner once a big occasion for me, now it’s ready in five minutes,
Brown sepia images recalling times so long ago, those times etched into a world that once was my time, now long gone,
Holding on to the wing of an old armchair to balance, looking at red flowered wallpaper, on Christmas morning.

So again I look out the window

Sleet turned to snow and the pat on the window was how it should be, outside snow fell, like apple blossom,
Grass began to turn white, people rushed by umbrella’s held low protecting faces, it made me feel good, happy,
Why happy though? Could it be an excuse for my loneliness, nobody ever comes round I can pretend it’s the snow,
So again I look out the window and pray for heavy snow, so my pretense can last for a few days, maybe longer.

Moments would last for so many years

Sitting down staring at the wallpaper patterns merge into scenes, scenes of holding hands for the first time,
Scenes of laughing friends, faces in bright sunlight framed with home made haircuts, always a joker in the group,
Dipping feet in clear running water on warm days, watching for fish, hoping to see one bigger than a minnow,
It’s funny, who would have thought that insignificant moments would last for so many years, a whole lifetime.

The clock now ticked louder


The clock now ticked louder and the pictures looked more alive as they stood either side of the odd brass ornaments,
The odd festive card pinned to the gloss door, they’re the real little cards, the cheap ones that come in boxes,
My pictures of dear people some gone, some moved away, some old, each one a star, each a treasure of my life,
Net curtains hang on front windows, they’re yellowing with age, and because I can’t be bothered to wash them,
So now my days are taken up with sitting on an old armchair alone, with ghosts of my past to keep me company.

My take on this!


I think that as people get older and the generation they grew up with move on for many reasons it's hard to make good new friends. In some sad cases family ignore the older people especially when they're on their own. The odd visit might mean they have to take some responsibility for the welfare of the person, or it makes them feel guilty. But it could be that cannot be bothered as they have better, more important things to do, and what they don't see will not spoil their day.

All the pictures come from my own collection.

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Comments

author avatar Steve Kinsman
20th Dec 2014 (#)

Terry, you capture the melancholy of times gone by with rare perfection in your prose. Masterful!

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author avatar Terry Trainor
20th Dec 2014 (#)

Thank you Steve, you're a gentleman.

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author avatar Claudia J. Rodriguez
21st Dec 2014 (#)

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Well written piece that conveyed the plight of many older people. Not sure if this is a factual account of your situation at this time, if it is, please make contact with a senior citizens center. Be Blessed, Terry.

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author avatar Terry Trainor
21st Dec 2014 (#)

Thanks Claudia so kind of you to care. But I'm not an old man and have many friends and family. I try to write through others eyes and my posts are my perception.

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author avatar GV Rama Rao
21st Dec 2014 (#)

Excellent. You almost echoed my thoughts. I'm in a similar boat, but I'm having the company of my children and grandchildren. However, some memories keep flashing before my eyes. I understand your fight against loneliness and empathise with you.
I wish you A MERRY CHRISTMAS and A HAPPY NEW YEAR.

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author avatar Terry Trainor
21st Dec 2014 (#)

Thank you GV

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author avatar Stella Mitchell
22nd Dec 2014 (#)

As always , dear Terry, you take us back when all seemed well and at peace , and then show us the reality that many have to bear in these enlightened days .
I am thankful that there are many organizations today who help the lonely , but I am also aware of the many who fall between the cracks .
God bless you and all your family this Christmas time , and may you be surrounded with love , joy and peace , now and always
With Love from Stella ><

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author avatar Terry Trainor
28th Dec 2014 (#)

Many thanks Stella and the same to you.

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
23rd Dec 2014 (#)

Inconvenient truths that we try to sweep under the carpet so well brought out to the open, thanks Terry! The elderly are holding on for dear life as the pace is quickening with the young fixated on gadgets for company and to while away the time and even look away from the reality of their duties!

This take resonates across the world as the elderly in Asia too are trying to come to terms with a different world. The young look to the future while for the old their future is in their past! siva

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author avatar Terry Trainor
28th Dec 2014 (#)

Very well put Siva.

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