Confrontation With my Husband, The Couch Potato

The Silver Phoenix By The Silver Phoenix, 29th Jun 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Short Stories

Wendy Doper was up to her neck with her long haired lazy husband, Steve Doper.

Confrontation With my Husband, The Couch Potato

Wendy Doper was up to her neck with her long haired lazy husband, Steve Doper. While she did all the housework and attended a regular day time job, her husband would just loaf around and watch television all day long, helping himself to goodies lying in the fridge and in the kitchen. She had been tolerating him for several years, in the hope that one day he might change his lazy ways, but he just seemed to be gaining weight and taking advantage of her kind nature. Then, one day, she decided to put her foot down and confront him. It was friday evening and she entered the living room Her husband was watching a football match. In his left hand was a can of beer and in his right hand, a bag of peanuts. She took a deep breath and then stormed in to block his view.
“Oh Wendy love, you’re blocking my view. Could you just move to one side?”
“No.” She grabbed the beer and popcorn from his hands and placed them aside on a table. Then she switched off the t.v.
“Hey! I was watching that match.” He stood up and reached for the switch but Wendy pulled out the plug.
“What’s gotten into you, Wendy love? Did you have a bad day at the office?” She slapped his left cheek and stormed out into her bedroom, expecting Steve to follow, but instead of that, he just stood there momentarily, then quickly placed the plug back in and continued watchng the closing moments of the match.
“Oh no, it’s about to end. She ruined my programme.” “Oh well.” He went into the kitchen and opened the fridge.
“Brilliant! The chocolate cake is still there.” He finished it off then turned out the lights and entered the bedroom.
“Wendy, are you asleep?” He burped very loudly as he had over-eaten. “Wendy love, are you awake?” He peered over at her as she lay in bed with her back turned to him.
“Listen, I’m really sorry about earlier. Actuall,y, come to think of it, I’m very confused. Why did you slap me?” Wendy sat up and slapped him on both cheeks.
“Shame on you. You allow your wife to work all day long without any consideration of my feelings. Steve Doper, you are nothing but…an overfed couch potato!”
Steve grew quiet for a moment and reflected back on his past as Wendy burst into tears. Steve cuppedboth his hands around her hands but she fought free.
“You…you’re turning into Jabba the Hut you are.” Steve was quiet for a moment and then suddenly. burst into a fit of laughter. “Ha ha ha ha haa! Oh hoh hoh hoh hoh!
“I DON’T SEE WHAT’S SO FUNNY!!” Shouted Wendy at the top of her voice.
“Oh gosh, my stomach is hurting. Hah hah hah.” Then, Steve composed himself and held her hands very tightly, He looked into her eyes.
“You know something? You’re absolutely right. I’m a slob. Please give me one more chance and I promise I will change.” He crossed his heart.
“Oh, pull the other one!” She wrapped herself in her blanket and went to sleep. Steve nodded his head and also slept.
Next morning, Wendy awoke at 7am to find Steve’s side of the bed empty.
“I bet he’s in the kitchen stuffing himself with cake or pastries.” As Wendy was about to get up, the door opened and Steve entered. He was no longer dressed in loose sloppy clothes. He was dressed in a pin striped suit with short cropped hair and a lovely aftershave. His shoes were polished and he wore a siler watch on his left wrist. In his hands was a breakfast tray. He walked upto her.
“Your orange marmalade buttered toasts with a hot cup of tea, Madam.” He knelt down and kissed her hands. Wendy rubbed her eyes in disbelief that was this the same couch potato whom she slapped last night? It appeared that her confrontation had awaked him and brought out the man within.
After breakfast, she went down and found the fridge was filled with brown bread and soya mik. mineral water and a variety of vegetables. The carpets had been hoovered and basically the whole house had been tidied up. She stared at him, still in shock. “And where did all the junk food go?” He pointed to the bin in the kitchen and raised his left arm, urging her to join him and when she did, he smirked.
“Welcome to your new life, Mrs Doper.” And he took her out for a meal. This was the beginning of their new life together. Everything was shared between them thereafter and they lived happily ever after.
The End.


Lazy, Lazy Americans, Lazyness

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author avatar The Silver Phoenix
I am a Professional Freelance Writer and have been having my works accepted and published since 1990

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