Cribbing Syndrome.

GV Rama Rao By GV Rama Rao, 3rd Oct 2012 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Columns & Opinions

One can live without food, water and fresh air for long. However, he cannot live without something to whine about.

Agony uncle.

I donned robes of Agony Uncle and proceeded to the penthouse in our complex when I received a call from my friendly neighbor, a wealthy doctor.
“My son, on summer vacation from the boarding school, is going around with a long face, drooping shoulders and behaving strangely. Drop in and have a look at him, could you?” he said.

At the posh penthouse, I found everything in perfect order. The central air conditioning seemed to be functioning at optimum, and the whole flat looked spick and span. God was kind to my neighbor.

The boy's room.

The boy’s room looked no less immaculate and had everything in its proper place, but I found some discord. The Music system remained mute, and the LCD TV and the Play station were off. The young lad of fourteen, in pink of health, sat with vacuous looks, lost in his own thoughts. He looked like a boy who had lost all interest in life suddenly.
“What’s up?” I said to add some gaiety to the conversation.
“Nothing.” He seemed to be in a mood to speak only in monosyllables.
“Are you OK?” I asked.

My treatment.

The way he said it provided me the clue. I had gone down to the living room, called the janitor on the intercom and asked him to switch off two phases of electricity to the flat for half an hour. The air-conditioner had gone off, but the lights and fans functioned. The flat started getting hot, unbearably hot.

When my friend had started to open the doors to let some fresh air in, I signaled him to stay put. He thought I had gone off my rocker but gave me the benefit of the doubt.

The young boy rushed downstairs fretting, fuming and perspiring. “What is wrong? Why no electricity during a summer afternoon when the temperature is the highest?” he asked and then groaned, moaned, whined, raved and ranted. He called all officials starting from the Chief Minister downwards as nincompoops and idiots. He vented his spleen at everyone around and danced around the house tearing his hair off like a man who had just returned from an asylum.

When the power supply had resumed, all systems started functioning normally. The lad hugged his parents, brought drinks from the frizz for everybody and behaved normally. Since my presence had served its purpose, I left the scene.

Solving the mystery.

A few days later, my neighbor had invited me for dinner and asked me to unravel the mystery about his son’s odd behavior on that day, and how I could set him right.
“It was all due to Cribbing Syndrome,” I said.
“Stop kidding me. I never heard of it in thirty years of Medical practice,” he said.
“If you permit, I’ll explain.”
“Let me check the dictionary and Google.”
“You won’t find anything useful in them.”
He found to his surprise cribbing is a malaise associated with horses or plagiarizing.
“My son is no horse. Why do you associate his behavior with cribbing?”
“It is our national malaise. We all have it but unaware of it.”
“Stop talking in riddles and explain, will you?”
It didn’t take me long to explain the boy was used to the hostel where something or other must have been packing up always, and he found the penthouse where everything was functioning properly upsetting and unsettling him. He found the immaculate house and his parents’ abundant love too good to be true and in sharp contrast to the ambiance at the hostel. “He was so happy that it made him unhappy,” I concluded.
“Now you don’t sound logical.”
“We all need something or other to whine and gripe about all the time and the absence of annoying things upsets all of us. We can live without food, water or even fresh air but will go bananas if we find nothing to crib about. We just cannot function without cribbing.”
“Now you are exaggerating.”
“No. While the poor complain about the lack of money, the rich crib about too many taxes to pay. Show me one without any complaint. A dose of cribbing every day is good for health.”
“So what do you suggest?”

The cure.

“When your son is here, make sure something goes wrong for at least an hour every day. Give him something to crib about regularly. Several anti-cribbing devices like dietary changes and mechanical gadgets are available to protect the horses from cribbing, but no medicine has been discovered, as yet to prevent humans from cribbing. This lack of research was intentional as cribbing is good for our health.”
Later, my friendly neighbor thanked me profusely for my counsel.


Agony, Complaints, Healing, Health, Karma, Mental Anguish, Mental Disorder, Mental Health, Syndrome, Whining

Meet the author

author avatar GV Rama Rao
I am a retired naval officer and a published author with three books to my credit. I am a winner of nanowrimo competition for 2008,9, &10. I like humor best..

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author avatar Retired
3rd Oct 2012 (#)

explained well, good. i like it.

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author avatar GV Rama Rao
4th Oct 2012 (#)

My dear Krishna,
Welcome to my pages and thanks for your comment.

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
3rd Oct 2012 (#)

Periodically letting off steam is needed. Too much of a good thing is also bad. The story of a farmer always cribbing about the weather comes to mind. When the weather turned out perfect, he had nothing to complain about - lost the raison detre of his existence - and well, committed suicide! Thanks GVR - we need your wise counsel to prevent such happening! siva

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author avatar GV Rama Rao
4th Oct 2012 (#)

Thanks Siva, for your wise comments.

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author avatar M G Singh
3rd Oct 2012 (#)

Nice post. It happens to everybody

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author avatar GV Rama Rao
4th Oct 2012 (#)

Thanks Madan for your comment.

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author avatar Retired
4th Oct 2012 (#)

Clever and amusing!

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author avatar GV Rama Rao
4th Oct 2012 (#)

Amma rd,
Thanks for your comment.

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author avatar Retired
4th Oct 2012 (#)

PS--We humans are an odd lot!

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