Detached Attachment Gives Peace of Mind

Sivaramakrishnan AStarred Page By Sivaramakrishnan A, 17th Aug 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/kx_ylkxp/
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We develop attachment in life. But we should move towards detachment from worldly possessions to truly embrace creation in all its facets. That will lead to Peace of Mind, the most rewarding goal in life.

Detachment in Attachment

We are born to live among others not only humans. Those who find comfort being with others lead a balanced and meaningful life. But we are not born same – our attitudes and approach differ though we try to compromise to fit in. Some experiences leave their indelible mark in our psyches too to influence and change our direction. It is natural to get attached both to the living and the non-living – and we worry about the time when we have to let go others or even for us to leave others. We worry about matters that are soon proved futile. Though our minds seem to be wired few are able to rise above mundane outlook. Look around and get inspired by those who exude peace of mind and happiness. What a breath of fresh air to be with them when others seem to be lost, drown in misery and wallow in self-pity. One of the vital steps to get on top of daily challenges is by having an attitude of detached attachment - we should know when to let go than cling to our possessions. After all, we come and leave with nothing and forgotten sooner than we realize. Sadly, I have seen few are remembered for the wrong reasons. The good that we do are interred within our bones even if we do only those to benefit others.

Increasingly, we cocoon ourselves to worldly possessions. Our family circle is getting smaller while gadgets take over. We find more time for the latter to the exclusion of those that need our attention. The younger generation grows with a mind-set to pass time alone and that needs some reluctant adjustment on the part of the old. It is natural for them to feel family bonding is on the decline. But can we set the clock back? We need to look ahead and run with the crowd with GPS et al – not to be left behind!

Attachment

We come with an open mind to a world that accepts us with love and affection. But soon we learn we belong to a family that cares and also has expectations from us. We give back to those who provide for us, care for us – quite natural. Even material possessions are passed down. Then attachment takes hold with those who are near and dear. The whole world is made of many families; we belong to the world with rights to nature and, most important, we share the vital air that we breathe! The richest and the poorest share more than we realize! And we are a heartbeat away from leaving this blessed place, everything without even a second look – our whole worldly possessions all behind us! For some they are the raison d'être of their life! As we course through life it pays not to lose sight of this unshakable fact that we carry nothing away from this blessed place. It belongs to where it should and we leave just as we came - with nothing. What we left behind we had temporary possession of and will belong to someone else not even intended by us!

Even our attitude to others we meet in our lives is guided by attachments we develop. Some are treated strangers though they care for us more than family members do; family belongs to us while others are expendable. So we are not led by fairness in terms of time and rewards. Some remain strangers of our volition. Likewise, some are passed down all our possessions just because they are family. Attachment scores over reason and fairness. Few pass down huge wealth to their children that prove a burden to them. It all boils down to our attitude and approach to life to find balance in all we do. But we do see few among us able to rise over others by doing what proves wise in the end not only to them but also to others.

Life of Detachment

Though we can have legal rights over material possessions we know it is still temporary. We have to move on and nothing is ever worth losing sleep over. We have so many others that we can better spend time on than cling on to those that we hold dear and near. Letting go is the way to live a fulfilled life and move on. Even our children have to leave us for lengths of time to chart out their own paths. We can just act as a lighthouse but should never interfere in their lifestyle that changes faster nowadays. In olden times some in Asian societies practiced stages in life – childhood, adulthood and renunciation. Childhood meant a life with parents, adulthood with own family and old age meant a life of renunciation and isolation. They took to solitary wanderings without family attachments – in fact, the world became their family – time to embrace whole creation! They became disassociated with material possessions and even own family. Though that may revolt with what we are used to, it will add meaning when we let go the daily routine while in search of understanding of why we are here and do not confine ourselves within a close circle that can prove stifling not only to us!

Peace of Mind

We are led by activities and lifestyles that bring us unhappiness and act as an anathema to peace of mind! Though we become aware of them we tend to gloss over while in pursuit of our passions but time catches up with us in no time; we have to pay the price sooner or later. All the worldly possessions cannot assure us peace of mind. Only our attitude to life can get us there. Peace of mind is not defined by wealth but the willingness to accept reality – we do what we can but the end result is not up to us! There are too many variables in life starting with our own health and family.

When individually we move towards the goal of peace of mind we will also find the world a better place to live in. Don’t we see few living like they are in heaven and others like in hell and it has nothing to do with material wealth but attitude? A detachment in attachment makes us accept the reality of life and may lead us to adjust to whatever is destined for us later. Detachment from those that we think we own and control is needed as a stepping stone to embrace the whole creation with warts and all!

Image Credits: All Images are from Public Domain - Wikimedia Commons

Links to my recent posts:


Who Is Against Peace?

Selfishness to Altruism: Time for Truth to Prevail

The Leaders We Seek: How to Get the Best?

Accepting Reality Gives Greatest Reward

Being There When It Matters


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Tags

Adulthood, Anathema, Attachment, Attitude, Balanced Life, Childhood, Creation, Detachment, Isolation, Lifestyle, Peace Of Mind, Psyche, Renunciation

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
Professional accountant. General take on life, business, international news comments

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Comments

author avatar Mariah
18th Aug 2013 (#)

My respects to you Siva for such an enlightening piece of
writing, as is always in your contributions to our family writing community.
Mariah

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
18th Aug 2013 (#)

Thanks Mariah for such uplifting words. Your comments make make my efforts worth the while. Every moment is not the same, so let us enjoy the variety; both the ups and downs. We are mere guests on a short sojourn and should be prepared to leave without notice - siva

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author avatar Connie McKinney
18th Aug 2013 (#)

Well done and so well written, Siva. This is a good lesson for all of us.

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
18th Aug 2013 (#)

Thank you Connie for your kind words of encouragement - siva

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
18th Aug 2013 (#)

Thank you Mark for your encouragement by awarding a star - appreciated - siva

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author avatar Mark Gordon Brown
18th Aug 2013 (#)

May we all find and have peace in our lives.

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
18th Aug 2013 (#)

Thanks Mark. We can nail peace of mind by accepting the consequences of our actions that may not be to our expectation or liking. We have to move on in life looking ahead with the past as a guidance - siva

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author avatar LoriAnne Hancock
18th Aug 2013 (#)

Brilliant!

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
18th Aug 2013 (#)

Thanks LoriAnne for your support - siva

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author avatar Steve Kinsman
18th Aug 2013 (#)

I always turn to your articles when I want a strong dose of wisdom, and I always find it without fail. Thank you Siva-ji.

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
18th Aug 2013 (#)

Soothing words indeed, dear Steve. These make my day and a fulfilling reward for my effort - siva

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author avatar M G Singh
18th Aug 2013 (#)

Nice post Siva. There are many paths to salvation.

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
18th Aug 2013 (#)

Thanks Madan for your comment. Let us each move towards peace of mind that will lead us to world peace too - siva

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author avatar Carol
18th Aug 2013 (#)

Such beautiful and inspirational work Siva, many thanks

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
19th Aug 2013 (#)

Thank you Carol for your support and kind words - siva

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author avatar Delicia Powers
18th Aug 2013 (#)

Beautiful siva...thank you.

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
19th Aug 2013 (#)

Thanks for reading and for the comment, Delicia - siva

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author avatar writestuff
18th Aug 2013 (#)

Siva,
Great enlightening post.

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
19th Aug 2013 (#)

Appreciate your encouragement; it is my pleasure, Writestuff - siva

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author avatar Stella Mitchell
19th Aug 2013 (#)

When we live in contentment and peace with God and man , we are rich indeed my dear Siva .. The objects we accumulate can be a bane or a bonus , depending on need .
Bless you my friend
Stella ><

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
19th Aug 2013 (#)

Thank you Stella. I know many think like you and me and there are also others who are different. I have been able to move with the very poor and the very rich in Asia. For the former a simple meal is a blessing and for the latter nothing will satiate them despite having hundreds of millions of dollars. Gandhi said - there is everything to meet our needs but not the greed of one person. We all get attached in life to especially close relatives and our possessions. But a sense of detachment gives us peace of mind as the time for departure closes in everyday - siva

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author avatar Stella Mitchell
20th Aug 2013 (#)

It does indeed dear Siva ... All the beautiful things as well as the useful and mundane can never compare to the the glory that awaits those who put their trust in the everlasting love of the One who redeems us from the bondage of things that claim us here , my friend .
God bless you
Stella ><

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
21st Aug 2013 (#)

Thank you Stella. Let us all put our trust in the all powerful and do our best here that we are blessed with. We know what we have to do - that prompt comes from within and also, do unto others as we would want them do unto us - till our last moments. We become what we think as we are co-creators of all we see and live in - siva

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author avatar Judy Ellen
20th Aug 2013 (#)

You are absolutely amazing Siva and so right about being overly attached to things! Too many young people substitute material possessions for time spent with family. Family should always come first for where else is there such love and fulfillment!

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
21st Aug 2013 (#)

So happy to see you again, dear Judy and thank you for your kind words. Many lose their way and their plot in life. We all have one passion or another but none can thrive in isolation. Let the passion that we have and pursue benefit as many as possible even if it is just spreading some cheer here! siva

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author avatar C. Montezuma
21st Aug 2013 (#)

:money is the root of all evil - this does not mean that money is evil!
But I see how materialism in this world seems to rank higher on the priority list than do the things that should be fist on that list. It does not help that our young are bombarded by advertisements that infer that we are 'missing' out or not 'cool' if we do not keep up with the jet set! Families have both parents working, kids get little or no time from parents and money and things are replaced where the love, attention, and guidance. It is most definitely a sad state of affairs.

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
22nd Aug 2013 (#)

Thank you for your comments, Montezuma. I am seeing in Asian society people accumulating wealth as their goal in life increasingly. Life meant spending time with near and dear and empathizing with others' needs. Now we have moved away from basics with children left to their own devices. And media highlights wealth to the exclusion of all else, as the be-all and end-all of life. If one does not figure in the rich list or among high earners, we are treated as failures - that is becoming the norm. This perception should change as the young are especially vulnerable - siva

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author avatar vpaulose
22nd Aug 2013 (#)

Attached with a star. Thank you dear Siva.

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
23rd Aug 2013 (#)

Thank you dear VP. But should not get too attached to stars too! siva

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author avatar cnwriter..carolina
23rd Aug 2013 (#)

another inimitable piece siva...

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
24th Aug 2013 (#)

Thanks Carolina for your supporting words - siva

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author avatar Trillionaire
24th Aug 2013 (#)

So beautiful.

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
24th Aug 2013 (#)

Thank you Trillionaire for reading and commenting - siva

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author avatar Souvik
24th Aug 2013 (#)

Good article Sivaji. Good philosophy.

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
24th Aug 2013 (#)

Thank you Souvikji - though we develop closeness with family members, a sense of detachment should be the way as ultimately we journey alone! We come alone, leave alone but we meet many and we call some our relatives. Of course, some hang on to every cent too! siva

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author avatar Terry Trainor
25th Aug 2013 (#)

Hi my dear friend every time I read one of your inspired posts I take away some of your wisdom and try to emulate what you say in my deeds. Thank you my friend not only for this post but for all of them.

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
25th Aug 2013 (#)

Thanks Terry, you are indeed a very kind and a generous person. I write based on my life's experiences and what I observe. I have seen how some rich hang on to every cent as if their very life depends on them only to see it frittered away right before their eyes. Thankfully, I have also been touched how generous some are and they are mostly the poor! siva

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author avatar Terry Trainor
25th Aug 2013 (#)

So very true.

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
25th Aug 2013 (#)

Thanks again for your visit Terry - siva

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author avatar Subra
26th Aug 2013 (#)

Philosophers and thinkers the world over including Buddha, Sri Chinmoy, Swami Vivekananda as well as the sacred Bhagavad Gita have all analysed the concepts of attachment and detachment. It is generally accepted, except perhaps by the greedy, avaricious and selfish people, that attachment to things beyond one’s necessities brings misery, sickness, stress, enmity and fear.

The Dhammapada, for example, says succintly,
“From the dear comes grief
From the dear comes fear.
If you're freed from the dear
You'll have no grief, let alone fear.”

The trouble is that most of us do not understand the difference between detachment and non-attachment. If only we know the difference, we’ll realise that non-attachment comes about readily. Actually attachment to material things, rewards and cravings is part of the same coin, but we don’t comprehend its full implications. This is a human weakness that can easily be talked about but without any feasible solution.

Another sterling contribution, dear Siva.

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
27th Aug 2013 (#)

Thank you dear Subra for your valuable and thought provoking input as usual. I have seen close at hand how greed takes over and slowly changes the character of persons even those with good intentions to start with. Money should be our slave and we should not become slave to money - is easily said especially for the super rich. The circle they trust becomes narrower by the day and finally it ends up as - you too Brutus! The good people around them give up when they become incorrigible - siva

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author avatar tz
30th Aug 2013 (#)

i loved the title of this article, of course the article is well written too!

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
31st Aug 2013 (#)

Thank you TZ, I value your comments - siva

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author avatar Zhalya Abiyeva
1st Sep 2013 (#)

Thought-provoking article. Thank you for sharing!

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
1st Sep 2013 (#)

Thank you Zhalya for your kind words - siva

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author avatar Souvik
16th Sep 2013 (#)

Every one in the world is struggling to get peace of mind. Your article can shed some light in their minds Shivaji.

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
16th Sep 2013 (#)

Thank you Souvikji. I have seen some rich getting too attached to their wealth and nothing else matters to them. Sadly, others too come to the realization that they are beyond redemption! siva

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author avatar Geeta Rao
29th Sep 2013 (#)

Ah article rich in philosophy very interesting. But, I feel creating wealth is also not wrong 4 it makes the life of those comfortable who renounce worldly pleasures in service of God n depend on us 4 their needs.

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
30th Sep 2013 (#)

Thanks Geeta for your input. I have worked with some very rich and I found at first hand the truth of the maxim - the more one has, the more the greed to accumulate at any cost. Sadly, the media highlights some super rich as the role models. The real heroes are those who touch the hearts and responds to the poor. Wealth has a tendency to take over our lives as we get trapped in the wealthy circle. As Gandhi said - our world has everything to meet our needs, but not the greed! siva

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author avatar Rashmi Arora
2nd Oct 2013 (#)

Awesome

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
3rd Oct 2013 (#)

Thank you Rashmi. I have seen few getting too attached to wealth at the cost of everything else and finally even own families leave them to their devices! siva

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