Doggy Style -- Another Installment of 25 Reasons

Phyl CampbellStarred Page By Phyl Campbell, 31st Oct 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/40tse87z/
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>General Fiction

It's been a while since I shared an installment of Charlie and Jane's 25 Reasons. I hope you'll enjoy this naughty walk on the wild side of Charlie and Jane's bedroom...

Doggie Style

“Time for you to be na-ked,” Charlie sing-songed. He was holding a book in his hand. “I found page sixty-ni-ine.” His glee was, well, odd for a man of his age and size.

Jane looked up from her side of the bed, annoyed that her novel had been interrupted. “What page 69? I didn’t mark a page 69.”

“You didn’t have to. It’s your book. I found it myself.” Charlie began stripping and rolling down the blankets.

“Give me that.” Jane took the book from Charlie. “Charlie. This isn’t a romance. This is science fiction. The female character in this one is a robot. A Robot.”

“A very limber robot.”

“And I am NOT a very limber wife. Nor am I impressed. Misogynistic robot loving men? Real women barely even show up in this one.”

“It’s your book.” Charlie rebutted with a grin. “You said if I read your books -- you said if I worked a little harder to make it good for you, we’d have more sex. So I, like a good doggie, am reading your book. I really like this one.”

“Ugh. There’s so much sex in this one. I ought to have gotten rid of it before Seth finds it.”

“Oh, I’ll keep Seth from finding it. It’s staying right here by me.”

Jane wasn’t sure that she could handle a playful, giddy husband.

“Come on, Jane." Charlie cajoled. "Be a sport.”

“We both hate sports.”

“I don’t hate hockey.”

“I hate all sports enough for both of us.”

Charlie crawled across the bed on his hands and knees. If a man could crawl and frolic at the same time, well, that’s what Charlie was doing. Then he got down on his elbows and licked the side of Jane’s face from the bottom of her chin to the top of her head.

“C’mon, Jane. Charlie wants you to play with his bone.” He wiggled his tailbone in the air for effect.

Jane burst out laughing. “And I assume puppy dog eyes are next?”

Charlie obliged. “Pet me, Jane. Pet me. I’ll be your best friend.”

“Dogs are man’s best friend. Not a lady’s.”

“Play with my bone. Please, Jane? We don’t even have to do it like the book.”

“Two nights of dishes.”

Charlie cocked his head to the side. “What?”

“Two nights of dishes.”

“But I cook.” Charlie protested.

“And you leave a huge mess. So if you want to get freaky tonight, you get dish duty for the next two nights. And no pawning it off on Seth, either.”

“Ruh roh.”

“I mean it. He’s got enough stuff with school, homework, and band practice.”

“But, but,” Charlie whined in a very unmanly fashion. “But Charlie’s been a good doggie. He needs some lovin’, Jane. Some doggone lovin’.” His hind end resumed its wagging.

Trying to stifle her laughter, Jane rolled over and pretended to sleep. Charlie resumed licking her face.

“Ewww! Ewww! Ewww! Eww! Eww!” Jane squealed.

“You know you wanna play with my bone.”

“Dishes!”

Charlie resumed licking her face.

“All right! All right! All right! Would you stop that?”

“All right!” Charlie cheered.

“You’re going to wake up Seth.”

“Nope. Charlie’s a good doggie. A quiet doggie.” His rump started to wag again.

“Since when did you think I was into bestiality?”

“Jane likes it doggie style.”

“I thought you wanted a 69?”

“Charlie doesn’t give a damn. Charlie just wants lovin’.”

“Does Charlie always talk about himself in the third person?” Jane teased.

Charlie let his tongue roll out of his mouth and panted in response.

“And Seth wonders why we’re never getting a dog.” Jane grumbled, but not in an angry way.

Charlie rolled over and played dead. Then Jane got in some licks of her own.

Yet another reason why Charlie should never read Jane’s books to Jane.

Please leave me a comment if you liked 25 Reasons (or even if you didn't). And remember -- you can write for Wikinut, too. Just click here.

First Reason

Catch up on all the reasons you might have missed:

"'Even before she could scream out in ecstasy, he plunged into her and touched his fangs to the throbbing pulse of her throat. She said...'"
"What? What did she say" Jane cried, bordering on ecstasy herself.
"Wait a minute." Charlie said, putting down the book and reaching for his handkerchief. "I've got to blow my nose."
"Ewww gross." Jane complained. "Now? You have to do that now?"
"You don't want my snot on the pages of your bodice ripper, do ya?"
CONTINUE READING

Second Reason

“Honey,” Charlie called from the bedroom. “I could really use your help in here.”
“I can help Dad.” Seth said.
“No, son!” Charlie barked. “I mean, no – I really need your mother.”
“Mom!” Seth yelled down the stairs. “Dad got his junk stuck in his zipper again!”
Charlie would have cheerfully strangled his only son, but that would mean leaving the safety of the bedroom, which he was ill-prepared to do at the moment.
A frazzled Jane appeared at the bottom of the stairs, one hand over the mouthpiece of the phone. “What? We need to leave here in 15 minutes. Are you about ready?”
“Dad needs you. And all I need is my shoes…”
“Well, find them and put them on your feet, we’ve got to go if we’re going to swing by the bank before we meet the Paisleys for dinner. Are you seriously wearing that?”
Jane spoke into phone. “Hey, sweetie, let me call you back tomorrow… I know, I know. Never a dull moment around here, either. Love you, too.” She hit “end” on the cell phone as she climbed up the stairs. “You know, I think those stairs must have a Jacob’s Ladder in there or something. It always seems like there are more of them anytime I – Charlie, what the hell are you wearing?”
CONTINUE READING

Third Reason

Charlie worked very hard at his job. Even so, he often brought work home with him. He tried to be courteous and work in the bedroom so that (his wife) Jane and (their son) Seth could watch prime-time TV undisturbed. However, Jane would try to “visit” Charlie during commercials, and on Tuesday, happened to find a rather racy parade on Charlie’s computer while he was in the shower.
Honestly, Jane had no idea her bed hosted so many scantily clad women. Charlie did take very short showers, but why leave this on for Jane to find? Was he hinting to her? And how did Jane feel about it? On the one hand, what audacity Charlie had not to just come out and say what he wanted! On the other hand, perhaps he never meant for Jane to see, knowing that such a request would be met with the Evil Eye, and these harmless women scampering across the screen were just harmless images on a man’s computer.
Anyone thinking that Jane would accept the latter rationale simply does not understand Jane.
CONTINUE READING

Fourth Reason

“Ugh!” Jane typed angrily at her laptop, alternating between furious typing and sitting back, scowling, while her eyes scanned the page.
“What’s the matter?”
“Oh – these stupid morons! They still haven’t figured out that the world should not be responsible for zipping their pants for them.” Jane returned to furious typing.
“Are you stirring the pot again, sweetheart?” Charlie grinned.
“Well, they just get so stuck on themselves.”
“Who does?” Charlie asked -- though he already knew. He liked it when she was riled up.
“These damn politicos! No contraception, no abortion, no gay marriage.”
“No lives. No fun. Stupid pricks," Charlie agreed.
CONTINUE READING

Fifth Reason

"It says, 'He looked deep into her amber eyes and said "I want to watch you when I do this to you."'" Charlie quoted.
"That doesn't mean we have to," Jane said.
"Hey, this was your idea. I just think if we're doing it, we should do it right."
Charlie shifted his weight, which caused Jane first to groan, then to yelp.
"Hey -- watch those knees! I can't get out of your way when you're on top of me."
"This would be a whole lot easier if we were younger."
"No kidding."
"And in better shape."
"Ugh! Don't remind me."
CONTINUE READING

Sixth Reason

Charlie heard thinly veiled cursing coming from the bathroom. He checked the alarm clock--it was 3 AM. Either Jane was sick, or she was starting. Another hanky-panky-less week for Charlie. He frowned.

"Charlie?" Jane stage-whispered. "Charlie, are you awake?"

CONTINUE READING

Tags

25 Reasons, Charlie, Jane, Sexual Activity, Sexual Intercourse, Sexual Life

Meet the author

author avatar Phyl Campbell
I am "Author, Mother, Dreamer." I am also teacher, friend, Dr. Pepper addict, night-owl. Visit my website -- phylcampbell.com -- or the "Phyl Campbell Author Page" on Facebook.

Share this page

moderator johnnydod moderated this page.
If you have any complaints about this content, please let us know

Comments

author avatar Phyl Campbell
31st Oct 2013 (#)

Thanks for the star, johnnydod!

Reply to this comment

author avatar cnwriter..carolina
31st Oct 2013 (#)

another fun piece Phyl...thank you

Reply to this comment

author avatar Mariah
31st Oct 2013 (#)

Just too good! A very entertaining read.

Reply to this comment

author avatar Phyl Campbell
1st Nov 2013 (#)

Thanks, ladies! Happy Halloween!

Reply to this comment

Add a comment
Username
Can't login?
Password