Eleventh plague: Snakes!

Marzeus von Hemelen By Marzeus von Hemelen, 10th Oct 2015 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Drama

There's a knock on my office door. It's Petros.

Usually I don't like it when people come into my workplace uninvited. This is kind of MY space where I do my thing.

Eleventh plague: Snakes!

Petros wants a flat, round battery for a computer. Not having such a battery for him, he also wants to see what my workspace looks like. I'm not too keen to let him come in, but let him have a look around from the door.

He spots my streetboard.

"How many of those things do you have?"

"Oh, I see just the one", I reply.

Then he points to another one and says "no, there's another one".

"Oh, then perhaps I have two here."

I don't really know how many of those I have. I remember I bought one some years ago to be a prop for the character I'm playing in the movie "Created By Me". I tried it out myself and decided I like it, but I can't mess up the one that is in the movie because it has to stay clean and new for the movie. So I was looking to buy myself one, but then my sister Elmarie bought me one to thank me for audio-visual work I did for her.

Then some time later, I saw one in a supermarket that has wheels that have colored lights inside that flash all kinds of colors when you ride it. So I just had to have that snazzy one too. But, thinking that's fancy, I decided I'd like to show that off in a movie at least once too, before I use up that board. I still needed one I can ride as I please, without worrying about it getting wear and tear.

And then one day I saw one that has fancy studs in it, that also had slightly curved platforms for one's feet. The one Elmarie bought me kind of hurt my feet so much that I had to go to the doctor who said my tendon in my foot was pulled. It hurt for months before the pain started to subside. So I thought perhaps a streetboard with curved foot supports would be better on my feet.

And then I found a streetboard that, instead of two almost identical rounded foot supports, had like a zig-zag tail.

And so on and on. Bottom line is, I haven't the feintest idea how many of these things I have. Streetboards I've seen them called. Also some call them snakeboards, though there are other things that carry the name snakeboard too. Ripstick is another name for these. Streetsurfer yet another. I haven't the feintest what to call these things now.

"These things are the fashion now where I come from", says Petros. "I've always wanted to try them out. Shall we go ride them now?"

I was actually kind of busy, but decide it's fine to take a break to go teach Petros how to ride them.

We go to Father's crumbling tennis court. It's crumbling but it's about the smoothest outside surface of proper size we have at our disposal now.

It takes Petros a while to learn. I teach him to hold on to the fence of the tennis court, and then just start snaking it while keeping his balance and shaking his ass around.

After a while, he does get it and is all smug with being able to snakeboard by himself.

Well, that was fun. Then it's done. We take the snakeboards back to my office where Petros explains some very technical computer stuff about why the old computer in the living room is no longer working. No idea or recollection of what he said is the problem with it. He thought changing the battery might help, but it might not be the only problem.

Uncle Gus and Auntie René come over for some tea. It seems they still stop the car near the front stoep, probably still because of the bee sworm that was outside the West Wing last time, though now the bees are pretty calm and coming and going in peace.

We enjoy a cup of tea and the most delicious lemon meringue pie, while Auntie René shares with us that tonight at church, she is going to be confirmed as a deacon.

"Aren't deaconesses a cursed thing there anymore?", I ask.

"No", they say. "Women can be deacons. It's elders they can't be yet."

The Gereformeerde Kerk, as many other churches, have been very, very slow to accept women in their service. Only recently in their history was it finally decided that women can serve as deacons. It's absolutely forbidden that they be elders though. And if a woman wants to be stoned, she should try to be a preacher.

Years ago when I was still attending church, we had a reverend whose wife also studied theology and was a qualified reverend herself. Since our church was trying to be all open and with it, she was given the opportunity to preach during some evening services.

However, only a few years later that reverend and his wife invited Father and Mother and I to have a coffee at a restaurant. They then told us of their decision that they're leaving this church, and one of the reasons was that behind closed doors, the church board and the Gereformeerde Kerk heads were literally putting them through hell in part through their publications, for this evil they are committing of letting a woman be a reverend. They have constantly all but stoned her to death.

It's just one of those things that make me smile very satisfied that I have put all that church crap behind me. Childish games of evil, posing under the cloak of being "God's church". What utter nonsense!

After a splendid tea, we go see Uncle Gus and Auntie René off at their car. They show us the seat that's been redone so neatly, it literally looks like the seat is brand new.

Father suddenly notices Sir Barquelot has a weird attitude. But, Father shrugs it off as his usual jealousy when other dogs are too close to us and might get attention from us.

But then, Mother also goes insane. There's only one thing that makes Mother go ballistic with fear, and that is a snake.

I try to make out what is going on where I'm standing by the front wheel of the car, still looking at the seat through the window, with Auntie René standing right beside me.

And lo and behold: A big Cape Cobra is right by our feet, slithering right under Auntie René between her two feet, even fleeing over her foot.

Where in blazes did this poisnonous creature come from? Could it have been from the flower bed nearby? Howcome we didn't notice a thing?

I still stand frozen, as the snake makes its way between Auntie René's feet to the wheel of the car, trying to hide there.

And then, I notice Auntie René isn't there anymore. She's lying nearby on her back flat on the pavement, clean out of her shoes.

It's Mother that, in a flat panic only she can demonstrate, grabbed and plucked Auntie René clean out of her shoes and is pulling her across the pavement.

Poor Auntie René still hasn't even the faintest idea what's going on, or why she has been tossed flat on her back with her bare feet kicking in the air, being pulled by the arms away from her car.

"What is it now?? What's going on?", she asks, as Mother drags her on.

I can't help but start snickering at the sight, but now I have to change position too because I'm right by the wheel and not out of the snake's reach. I quickly make my way safely to Mother and her rescue effort where I have to save poor Auntie René from Mother's rescue effort now.

"Allright now, that will do; let's not handle the woman so roughly anymore", I say as I try to calm Mother who is still in flat panic mode, trying to flee with Auntie René whom Mother is dragging away by the arm now.

I take Auntie René's other arm and we pick her up from the ground. Mother finally gets the words out to tell her that there was a snake all over her feet.

Meanwhile we all try to locate the snake. Impossible - it sailed in behind the wheel and, just as quickly as it had appeared out of thin air, it seems to have disappeared into thin air too.

Did it climb up into the underside of the car?

Uncle Gus and Auntie René drive away, and we have a look if we can find that snake again. There's absolutely no sign of it. Maybe it climbed into the wheel or something, because there's no sight of it here.

I see Mother sitting down by the table and chairs on the stoep. She's holding her hands in front of her mouth, her eyes as huge as planets. It takes her a while to recover from the incident.

I try to console her but thinking of the image of how she swept that poor old sister of hers clean off her feet and right out of her shoes and dragged her flat on her back trying to get her as far away as possible from the snake, makes me burst out laughing every time. Ohhhh Mother, you dear woman you :) I love Mother.

Well they all go home and I go to my office to work a little more on the DVD I'm making of "Created by Me Part 1".

Later, Mother in the West Wing opens their back stoep door. There lies their dog Crescent on the stoep.

"Crescent?", she calls out to him.

No response.

Is he sick? What's wrong with him?

Mother calls Father. Crescent is dead.

Now what could have happened? Father takes a look outside. Are any of the other dogs dead?

They're not dead, but there's something wrong with Whitesocks, the black dog with white paws. She usually looks like a slim dog with long hair, but now, she looks like a bulldog. Her jaw and face are huge and round.

It doesn't take long for Father to find the cause. There lies a dead puff adder in the garden.

The dogs usually kill the snakes they encounter successfully. But, sometimes the snakes are the victors.

Crescent didn't survive this time. Whitesocks was obviously bitten a few times near the mouth, but experience tells us that if the dogs don't die soon after, they probably will survive the bite and after a few days the swelling will disappear.

It seems the snakes have really become a plague now.

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Anaconda, Cold Blooded, Reptile, Reptilian, Serpent, Snakes

Meet the author

author avatar Marzeus von Hemelen
I like eggs for breakfast. I live on top of a hill inside a beautiful but old dwelling complex. I like to take life in through my senses and then give feedback through my writing.

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author avatar Fern Mc Costigan
12th Oct 2015 (#)

Interesting post!

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