Eventually the circle of life takes us back to the joy of childhood!

Helen Holdun By Helen Holdun, 3rd May 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Personal Experiences

As adults we lose the innocent joy of childhood. But sometimes, if we're lucky, in the winter of life, we recapture what was.

The circle of life takes us back to simplicity

Driving home after dropping my youngest son at a friends house, I witnessed something that needed to be written, as it’s my way of choice to share what has a profound impact on my being.

I’ve been having a rough couple of weeks, months perhaps. Taking two steps forward and three back, I get caught up in self-pity. This life I’m living is wonderful at it’s best; stressful at it’s worst. And not how I expected it to be.

Twenty plus years ago when I married and started a family, I never in my wildest dreams saw myself a single mom one day. I was raised on “for better or worse”. When I moved to California for employment that turned out to be my dream job, the one I’d be at until it was time to retire, I never expected to be laid off. I never saw myself with a passion for writing so deep it’s become the air I breathe, without it I’m not whole. Of course for all of us life is never what we expect, perhaps that’s a good thing or we’d been over taken by fear to move forward.

Back to what I witnessed today. The route I took passes an assisted living facility. On the sidewalk sat two elderly gentlemen in wheelchairs. Pals I suspect spending what time they have left reminiscing about what was. Perhaps none of it turned out the way they expected either or perhaps it turned out even better.

Their worn from the years faces, glowed with huge smiles as they waved to passing cars on the busy cross town road. I waved back smiling from ear to ear, honking my horn to liven things up for them. They couldn’t see the lump in my throat or the tears that began stinging my eyes. They weren’t sad tears, I’m a just mush who cries over beauty that touches my heart, and these men were beauty at its most organic. They’d returned to a simple, innocent joy amplified in childhood. A splendor in merely being we lose once we grow up. I thought of the lyrics to a song usually heard during the holidays “Toyland”. These men were like children waving from the back seat of the family care to passing strangers. Who giggle in sheer delight when someone waves back to them. There’s no purpose, no intent, no agenda, just pure fun for the fun of it.

And so in the circle of life, we do indeed go full circle. From innocent dependent babies, to full-blown I can or have to take care of myself, back to depending on the kindness of others and the happiness we can derive from what is.

I withdrew from my pity party. I’m young, healthy, strong, thank you God for that. My kids too are healthy and vibrant, again thank you. Sooner or later things will work out, they always do. I need to capture every moment I have in the now and relish those moments for all they’re worth. So what it’s not what I expected. In some ways what I expected was not as fulfilling as what I’ve got, remembering that fact makes it all so much better.
Someday if God allows, I’ll be in the winter of life, perhaps waving to strangers, I hope they wave back. Until then I’ll create memories that will sustain me in those days and give me a reason to have a smile as bright as theirs were.


Appreciation, Elderly, Relationships, Respect And Understanding

Meet the author

author avatar Helen Holdun
Passionate writer, author, hopeless romantic and fun mom to three fantastic sons.! I love sharing words, words and more words... I'll never grow up and refuse to ever be old!

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
3rd May 2013 (#)

Well said, Helen. I resonate with you. We tend to hide within immediate families but increasingly we know the whole world is just like us with same feelings. The only commodity in short supply is time. That means we should spend what we have everyday stretching to our entire life wisely. I see around me people going overboard, be it making money or pursuing their careers. We need balance everyday. Everyone is blessed more than we care to acknowledge. Everyone wants to be loved. For that we too should do our part. Be blessed - siva

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