Everybody Has One

Blake C. Patria By Blake C. Patria, 14th Feb 2014 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Columns & Opinions

An opinion of opinions in the proud American tradition of having an opinion.

The First Amendment

In celebration of my American First Amendment rights, I am writing my opinion. I write under the impression that "you" know who "you" are, and "you" might even have a sense of humor.

On People With No Opinion

Right now I will direct my opinion at people with no opinion:
Thank you for keeping your mouth shut. Nobody likes the opinions of a complacent person.
I'm told that everybody has one, so either you don't think yours is important, you are afraid to express your thoughts, or you are nobody.

On People With No Valid Opinion

Now my opinion is aimed at those I see as having or expressing no valid opinion; Thank you for the alcoholism, for this wealthy nation has been built upon your shoulders for several decades now. I can step into public, and see the fruits of your labors everywhere. Have you been to a mall lately? I have, and I was blessed with an understanding of why zombies are back in style, and selling more than ever! I should also thank you for being my bread and butter, for if a vast ocean of advertisement did not exist, I would have to mail my writing to magazines and publishing companies, then wait several months for a rejection letter.
I am truly amazed that a nuclear reactor in Japan can have a melt-down, irradiating the Pacific Ocean, and your concern is with the arrest of a teenage pop-star (whether you like or dislike said pop-star), but as they say; "hindsight is twenty/twenty". If you feel I am calling you short-sighted, I will take no offence to you calling me far-sighted. I should really spend more time in the present anyway, and I notice your opinions are one of the best ways to do that (if not the most available way)! I see your opinions, and the bait for your opinions in almost any place of commerce. It must be nice that a celebrity's personal life can distract you from the signing of the NDAA. Of course, there's no need for you to worry because people without a valid opinion don't attract the attention of the NSA. This is probably why you are overweight and depressed with a low self-esteem too. Chances are you are consuming the garbage that is advertised to you in those celebrity-stalker magazines, and on your television. With the time constraints you must have that force you to haphazardly consume whatever is thrust into your face, you probably don't have time to read the ingredients printed on it, but if you do, it stands to reason you don't have time to research any of those ingredients. Of course, why would a company want to harm their loyal customers? I suppose you've never met a person who sells addictive drugs, and if you have, you are probably too distracted to correlate the reasons why drug dealers and big corporations do what they do. I guess it's that distinction: Drug dealers are not as complex as huge, global corporations.
You're overweight because you eat garbage, but it makes you feel good so you don't care. You might get depressed for some reason, but your doctor has drugs for that. Still, there's that low self esteem that comes from realizing you're not as fit and gorgeous as the models in the magazines, or the actors on various screens. They have drugs for that too, and diet sodas! You live in a consumer wonderland with access to all kinds of information, and yet . . . you still don't know what aspartame is, and you wouldn't know a Monsanto if came up to you, and defecated on your shoes. This is probably because you are too preoccupied with your favorite sports team, or your new gadgets.
Just remember the next time you are watching The Walking Dead that consumption is an opinion too, and the consumer market is a democracy. So your opinion is valid.

On People With Stupid Opinions

Just because your opinion is stupid doesn't make it wrong. It takes all kinds of people to make up a world. If your opinion is that God created the world in six days, and rested on the seventh about six-thousand years ago, then please do so, and make this world that much more beautiful. I find the image of Mahalalel riding on the back of a tyrannosaurus to be quite awesome. I only implore you to keep such opinions (as well as all the others you got from your noble religious institution) out of the political and scientific arenas, and just let the Will of God guide the world. If the heathens vote for same-sex marriage, it is no fault of your's, and you will still have your place in Heaven for never committing such abominations of the flesh. If Planned Parenthood remains amongst God's people, it is all part of His Plan, and He will smite it of His own volition as He did with Sodom and Gomorrah. Just be sure not to look back lest you be transformed into a pillar of salt.

On People With Too Many Opinions

In America, you can never have too many opinions. I'd leave this opinion just at that for comic affect, but it is the opinion of the almighty Skynet that this section needs to be longer so I will tell you the story of the time I got a book in the mail about how I was going to die because the Pope is the antichrist, and a president is going to make it a law for Sunday to be a day of worship. I had read through The Book of Revelations before hoping I could adapt it into something else, but it was so insane and preachy that I just let it go. The next time around I read it, and discovered that "The Seven Stars" were Orion. "The Four Angles" were . . . uhhh . . . well . . . when I realized that "The Twelve Tribes of Israel" were astrological signs, I realized the four angels were seasons. This was when I was able to assign an astrological sign to every member, but I realized that Joseph was like the original Jesus, and Rachel was the original Mary. After a little more research, I realized that The Bible is a huge math equation, and that the only way to understand it is by understanding the language the Torahs were written in due to their numerical values. So I did more research on that, and a Jewish mathematician's finding was that the first letter of Genesis could me mathematized to create a torus (the same shape of an electromagnetic field), and that a slight alteration of a value in the symbol transformed the torus into a hand. A conversation about this with a Christian only disturbed me at how literally The Bible is taken so I wrote a paper called "The Evolution of a God".

On Political Opinions

If it ain't broke, don't fix it. If it is broke . . . why? How well does an old solution fix a new problem? If you think it's broken, see the above sections. If you think it is not broken, see the above sections.
It's easy enough to point fingers, and play the blame-game, but who did you really vote for, and where did they get all that money for that campaign? What is money? Where does it come from? This dollar bill here tells me on the right side of Washington's portrait that it came from The Department of the Treasury in Washington D.C., but on the left side it says something about the "Federal Reserve Bank of Dallas Texas". Another dollar says something about "The Federal Reserve Bank of Boston Massachusetts". This other dollar says something about a "Federal Reserve Bank of Kansas City Missouri". This five-dollar-bill just says "United States Federal Reserve System" on the left of Abe, and on this fifty, it says the same on the left of Grant. What's the Federal Reserve? Wikipedia tells me it's an "independent central bank" that doesn't need the government to regulate its policies. It says here that it was founded in 1913 under The Federal Reserve Act in the wake of a financial crisis. It's says something about "elastic currency" . . . I guess that's inflation and deflation. It also says something about "public and private aspects", something about overseeing other banks, something about banks holding stock in the Federal Reserve, that they can elect their own members of the board . . . so it's like a bank for banks . . . and a bank for the Government. It looks like the Fed has a degree of immunity from government audits, and they hired an Enron lobbyist named Linda Robertson, and she was an "adviser to all three of the Clinton administrations Treasury secretaries". It looks like the Federal Reserve's Board of Governors is "appointed by the President of the United States, and confirmed by the Senate for staggered 14-year terms". Hmm . . . well . . . if winning an election takes money and sponsorship, who are the sponsors? Enron? Doritos? Halliburton? General Electric? The Bank of America? The Carlyle Group? What do they get out of it? I mean, The Federal Reserve looks legit, here's their website: www.federalreserve.gov, and here's that Wikipedia page: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Federal_Reserve_System . See . . . if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Are you broke? Why? What about people you know? The economy seems to be the thing on everyone's mind, and how will we fix it. All sarcasm aside, my opinion is that the dice are loaded. A more complex machine has more advanced functions, but it has more parts. If one of those parts don't work, the machine doesn't work as well. I feel there is a lot of greed and corruption involved in politics regardless of what party you favor. If you scratch a candidates back to get him elected, he'll scratch yours when he is, and anybody with enough money can own a senator, but who has enough money, and why would they want to own a senator? This is my only answer to that: It takes money to make money.

On Social Opinions

Many of these opinions go hand in hand with the section above. They're usually pretty universal until they reach the point where they get obnoxious. Sometimes they are even used as red herrings to distract from a shady dealing in the above section. Generally social opinions are an evolutionary stepping-ladder reflection of their times. Right now, it is generally accepted that racism is bad. It still happens, and so does sexism. Social conditions evolve. The leading civil rights movement is for homosexuals as far as the average person knows, but what they often don't know is that it also encompasses the transgender community. This can be a problem in that they're lumped in with the homosexuals. A trans-male is not a "lesbian" . . . that is called "misgendering" which is a transgender person's major problem. This causes them a painful disorder called "gender dysphoria" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_dysphoria ). The rights exist, but the social climate as a whole is not yet fully aware of the issue. There will always be new social issues. My opinion: When confronted with a new social issue, don't be one of those prejudiced jerks you read of in books about old times because that social issue will probably be in a book some fifth-grader is reading a few decades from now, and you will be The Bad Person . . . actually, it helps to read a book or two in general.

On My Opinion

My opinion is only as important as I say it is. Sometimes it is a sarcastic opinion. Sometimes I'm serious about it. I've heard enough idiot opinions that I often speak in satire to amuse myself and others who must suffer the same . . . and sometimes those who are sheltered from such opinions to the point where they think that everybody with half a brain thinks like them. I've been known to take "The Devil's Advocate", usually because some people just need to have their opinions challenged so they can back them up in the future.

On Your Opinion

I don't care if I agree or not as long as it's at least informed and/or interesting enough to be worth my time. Chances are you'll say something interesting even if it's about something I find stupid; the interesting facet of your opinion will have made it seem less stupid. I find it's important to always look for those if not for the opinion than for the person who had it.


Consumer, Issues, Money, Opinions, Politics, Social, The Federal Reserve, The First Amendment

Meet the author

author avatar Blake C. Patria
My name is Blake C. Patria. I am a musician, a writer, a philanthropist, a philosopher, etc. I enjoy science and its fictions. I also enjoy philosophy and Punk Rock. My work will tell more :)

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author avatar Mark Gordon Brown
15th Feb 2014 (#)

I am sure this article will conflict with many people's opinions - some of which they think are "facts".
Funny thing - when I saw the title I thought this was going to be about belly buttons, I am glad it was far deeper than that.

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author avatar Blake C. Patria
17th Feb 2014 (#)

Thanks for readin, Mark! Yeah . . . it's weird how static facts are these days too--especially regarding history. It's like: You know how you remember something one way, and your friend remembers it very differently, and you're both sure you're right? It's almost like the past becomes as fractal as the future these days . . . but that's the Hyperverse I guess . . .

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