Felipe Moore - Chapter Ten

Kingwell By Kingwell, 18th Jan 2014 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/_aindu3f/
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>General Fiction

Now fifteen, Felipe finds life even more confusing and his self-esteem continues to ebb.

Felipe contemplates the Bible and church.

Although most people in Southern Arm attended church, Felipe was sure that it meant little to most of them, especially the young men who liked to sit together in the back of the church and do things to make each other laugh. Most of the married men who were there with their families frowned on such shenanigans, although they had done the same just a few short years earlier! As far as most people were concerned, going to church on Sunday was just an accepted part of life. Felipe was different though and at fifteen had already read the Bible three times and could never seem to get enough of it as he was already more than half way through the Old Testament for the fourth time. The problem was he had no one to discuss it with! His father and mother believed in following the teachings of the church and although they said grace at meals and even had family prayers on Sunday morning, they rarely read the Bible. Felipe wasn't sure about the church at all! He wanted to talk about God and felt certain that the church was wrong about some things but even the minister, when he visited, just wanted to talk to Benjamin about the fishing or the weather - oh he might mumble some short prayer before leaving - but that was it.

His desire to "fit-in".

Felipe felt a need to talk about life, about why we were here and where we had come from. His brothers would often laugh at him for reading the Bible as did his friends who visited the house. In Southern Arm, like other Newfoundland outports, no one locked their doors and even children just walked in when they felt like it. There was only one time when this was considered taboo, and that was when the family were eating. If you were at a friend’s house when his/her mother began to set the table for dinner or supper, it meant that unless you had been invited to stay for the meal, it was your cue to leave. It wasn't strange than for his friends to find Felipe reading the Bible and some of them began calling him Rev. Felipe or Mr. Moore. It was difficult not to be self-conscious and he usually turned beet red and felt that he had to do or say something that would make his friends think that he was really no different from them. It was at such times that he would tell what they all considered a dirty joke or story or he would use a few choice curse words when talking to them. Still Felipe knew that this wasn't really who he was and deep down he was upset with himself. Although he may not have realized it at the time, he was upset too with much that he had been taught by the church and even with some of the things he had read in the Bible. He knew that this was not his home and that there were no words to describe the peace and the beauty of that place which he had for some reason left behind. He would return there someday too, as would everyone - of that he was certain.

Lack of self-esteem worsens

Felipe also had another fault and that was he was always putting himself down. The boy had always been shy, feeling that others could do things better than him. This was reinforced at school by his complete inability to comprehend math and he just knew that he was a real dunce compared to his classmates. This lack of self-esteem seemed to worsen in his teenage years. Most Newfoundland men were jack-of-all-trades but Felipe was hopeless at any handy work that had to be done around the house. George once said that Felipe's finger nails turned black if he came within ten feet of a hammer! He had gone to cut firewood a few times with his father but his efforts were pathetic and Benjamin began going alone or taking one of his other sons. In the fishing boat too Felipe knew, although no one said it, that he was - to use a good old Newfoundland saying, "as arseforemost as they comes". Delilah and Benjamin were concerned too, they knew Felipe wasn't stupid but he was certainly different from his siblings. It was important they decided that he finish school and maybe he would get a job as a clerk in a store. Delilah worried too that her youngest son had few friends and no best friend as was usual with young people. He spent most of his free time reading, especially the Bible, but also poetry which he seemed to memorize very quickly and sometimes repeated with a passion that appeared strange for someone his age. She realized that Felipe would never be at home in Southern Arm or any outport and would probably do best in the great far-off capital city of St. John's.

Confusion reigns supreme

Walking home from school one day in October, Felipe felt like he was walking on air, deliriously happy, bubbling over with excitement - and all because Rodney Barnes had talked to him! Rodney was one grade below him in school and almost the complete opposite of Felipe in every way. He was confident and sure of himself and probably the brightest student in the whole school. He had returned early at lunch time and came over to where Felipe was sitting, pulled up a chair and started chatting like the two had been best friends for years. Sure they had seen each other every school day but with Felipe being such a loner, hadn't exchanged more than a dozen words before today. Felipe had always liked Rodney, but was always too shy to speak to him yet Rodney was completely relaxed. Felipe had agonized for months, perhaps years about starting up such a conversation but for his new friend it was as casual as an everyday occurrence. It was all that Felipe could think off that afternoon, and walking home from school later he felt as light as a feather - like someone in love, he thought but then realized how crazy it sounded - boys didn't fall in love with boys - or did they? Certainly there was no one to whom he could ask that question! He arrived home still feeling excited but rather silly at the same time - Was this yet another cruel joke that this thing called life was about to play on him?


To be continued - see Chapter Eleven
Read from the beginning - See Chapter One.

Tags

Classmates, Confusion, Cruel Joke, Curse, Deliriously Happy, Dunce, Excitement, Holy Bible, Love, Self-Esteem, Shenanigans, Swear, Swear Words

Meet the author

author avatar Kingwell
I am 75 years old and retired.I like writing short stories, poetry as well other articles of interest.

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Comments

author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
19th Jan 2014 (#)

Interesting growing up years of Felipe, a loner, different from others. Thanks Kingwell for taking me back in years and to a place far off from Asia - siva

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author avatar Kingwell
19th Jan 2014 (#)

Thank you Siva.

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author avatar vpaulose
19th Jan 2014 (#)

Seems to be interesting. Want to read all. Thank you.

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author avatar Kingwell
19th Jan 2014 (#)

Thank you vpaulose. I have been ill but hoping to get back to continuing this story with a few chapters every week.

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author avatar cnwriter..carolina
19th Jan 2014 (#)

interesting indeed...

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author avatar cnwriter..carolina
22nd Jan 2014 (#)

I just reread and you surely have captured a lot in this writ...many thanks...

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author avatar Kingwell
19th Jan 2014 (#)

Thank you Carolina and I hope you will continue reading.

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author avatar Teila
20th Jan 2014 (#)

You've got something here, started on this one, but will go back and start reading from the beginning. Very nice.

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author avatar Kingwell
20th Jan 2014 (#)

Thank you Teila. I appreciate your interest in this story. I plan on writing one or two chapters a week. Blessings.

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author avatar Fern Mc Costigan
23rd Jan 2014 (#)

Nice post!

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author avatar Kingwell
23rd Jan 2014 (#)

Thank you Fern. Happy to know that you are still following.

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author avatar MarilynDavisatTIERS
26th Jan 2014 (#)

Good morning, Kingwell; it continues to entertain as well as a reminder of our differences. It is a part of growing up, but also part of the process of finding our own unique strenghts, talents and limitations. It is too bad that we are expected to conform and when we do not, to think we are such an outcast. ~Marilyn

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author avatar Kingwell
27th Jan 2014 (#)

Thank you Marilyn, I respect your insight. Blessings.

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author avatar Delicia Powers
27th Jan 2014 (#)

Felipe faced a different world bak then-I wish the winds could have whispered from the sea that time and tide would change...but I fear life becomes not easy for this shy lad...

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author avatar Kingwell
27th Jan 2014 (#)

Thank you delicia. I like reading your comments as you read each chapter.

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author avatar Mariah
7th Feb 2014 (#)

Oh I sincerely hope that Rodney is sincere and that Felipe has found a friend he can relate to, that's very much what he is missing in his young life, great stuff Kingwell..thank you, moving on to the next chapter now..

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author avatar Kingwell
7th Feb 2014 (#)

Thank you Mariah.

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