Great, great uncle Albert hits the states

Glenn Merrilees By Glenn Merrilees, 9th Nov 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Poetry

This is the follow up to great, great uncle Albert, a true story. the original is an award winner.

Family legend

Our Albert, he was bored one day
as he'd fell out with his mates
so he got himself a passport
and went to see the states.

He went and dug this massive hole
just him and a companion
yanks have got a name for it
they call it the Grand canyon.

Met this creature in the forest
whose paw was really sare (Scots for sore)
Albert pulled the thorn out
was thanked by Yogi bear.

He shot that J.R. Ewing
the guy that's on T.V.
Kirsten Shepherd got the blame for it
he said it wasn't me.

He couldn't cross the river
to see his long time mate
so he went and built this fancy bridge
they call the Golden gate.

Their civil war was bloody
it got our Albert thinking
i'm going to have to pick a side
so he teamed up with Lincoln.

Said Lincoln was a gentleman
he thought the same as me
every man's an equal
so let the slaves go free.

He tried to help this general
gather all that you can muster
to fight off all those indians
some guy called George. A. Custer.

That clown, he wouldn't listen
he said Bert i'm doing grand
but history reveals it
that day was his last stand.

Our Albert loved his motorbikes
he loved to get his kicks
so he built himself a highway
they call route sixty six.

He built the two twin towers
and it pickled Alberts brains
terrorists with "L" plates
should not be flying planes.


Humour, Humourous Poetry, Humourous Stories, Humourous Story

Meet the author

author avatar Glenn Merrilees
I'm a 48 year old scotsman and a mental health awareness activist. I'm also a multi- award winning multi- published (NOT self published) poet. i have read my work at conferences all over Scotland,

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