Chip GreeneStarred Page By Chip Greene, 24th Feb 2015 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Essays

The grieving process is a personal experience. No other should tell you how to grieve.

"Death is just another part of life"

Let me begin by stating the obvious, "Death is just another part of life." They are inseparable. How we grieve depends upon the individual. Everyone has their own way of grieving. Some handle the process well. Others are overwhelmed by it. But, no matter how you grieve you should never let anyone else tell you how to do it. It is so personal that you should not listen to another's opinion on how to grieve. I wouldn't and haven't. I can only relate to you how I have grieved for lost loved ones.

This too will come to pass

I like most of you have lost those who are normally expected to preceed us in death. These include grandparents, parents, aunts and uncles, some friends and acquaintances, pets, and even people we've never met but, hold an emotional connection to. I thank the Lord that I as yet have not experienced the loss of a sibling. That too will come to pass eventually even though I am the eldest of eight children. I say that because in my arrogance I plan to outlive them all. This attitude is directly related to my personal grieving process.

No tears

You're going to think that I am cold and unfeeling when I tell you this. "I have never shed a tear for another." But, I do feel. I just don't show it to others. I deal with death by not dealing with it! Like the sun rising every morning it is to be expected. I expect it to happen sometime and I am emotionally prepared. All of the deaths of those that I knew were of the expected kind. Forewarned is forearmed. My armor is thick.


I've also experienced many sudden deaths but, those involved strangers. Those were usually gruesome deaths but, never bothered me. In those cases there was no grieving on my part.
I occasionally think of loved ones that I have lost. That is just part of my personal grieving process.I don't know if grieving is supposed to be some form of emotional release. A psychologist would probably say that it is. I've heard many say that a grieving person requires, "closure." That word is abhorrent to me! I believe there is no such thing as closure where the death of a loved one is involved. It reeks of forgetfulness. No one wants to be forgotten.

"Rest in Peace"

Whether your stoic like me or an emotional wreck like a professional mourner at a wake, grieving is a personal process and should not be intruded upon. Sometimes it only lasts a moment and other times it may last for years. In either case here is my wish for the dearly departed as well as for you. "May you rest in peace."

Photo credits


Loss of a loved one



Angels grieve


Death, Grieving, Grieving Etiquette, Grieving Process, Mourning, Relatives

Meet the author

author avatar Chip Greene
I am a retired police officer, baseball enthusiast, political junkie, and published writer.
My articles will focus on crime, politics, and baseball.

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author avatar Nancy Czerwinski
24th Feb 2015 (#)

Chip, great article and

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author avatar Nancy Czerwinski
24th Feb 2015 (#)


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author avatar Nancy Czerwinski
24th Feb 2015 (#)

Sorry Chip I'm on my Nook and it seems to have a mind of it's own. Congrats on the star.

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author avatar Retired
24th Feb 2015 (#)

I'm with you 100% on the personal nature of every individual's grieving. Yeah, the psychologists have studied the usual passages grieving people seem to go through, but they are averages and commonalities; our own grieving ought to be allowed to be personal.

I can understand fully that no tears might be shed upon your grieving, which does NOT mean you're not grieving. Each of us has different emotional DNA and we might not carry the genes for crying with grief. No matter. Grief is still with us and manifested in other ways than tears.

I appreciate your writing this piece and proclaiming the freedom to grieve without taking lessons.

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