Has my ship come in yet?

Marzeus von Hemelen By Marzeus von Hemelen, 2nd Dec 2015 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/za-u6kf1/
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>General Non-Fiction

Just like God before he created all the stuff on earth, I want to sweep over the waters like a ghost. Well not like a ghost. Like me myself on a boat. Yeah. Water traveling shall be done by me, and enjoyment shall be felt by my emotional receptors.

Has my ship come in yet?

No matter who you are, eventually whilst growing up, you are going to want a boat. It's just fun that way.

Today of course, there are many stores that offer inflatable boats at ever increasing prices. I think it has something to do with the El Nino drought. Or global warming. They think you must pay a tax to even be allowed to sit on water.

But, at the time I have reached my boat craving stage, there are no boats around that I know of. I don't think plastic inflatable rafts were available at the supermarket yet. Or I don't know about it.

So, who's going to give me a boat? Maybe somebody can build me a boat.

Indeed, Herod our servant wants to build me one. He's very handy with his hands, and he loves to have an excuse to use Father's tools to make all sorts of things.

I tell Herod what I want. A rowboat.

He doesn't quite understand. We don't have water close by so he's never seen such "rowboats" for rowing.

But I explain and tell him I want to sit on the thing and then it must carry me over the waters.

He says what for.

I tell him that's on a need to know basis.

He gets to work.

But he's also a severe alcoholic, and the Saturday that he's working on the boat, he gets drunker and drunker and drunker all the time as the day progresses.

Will I ever have my boat, or is Herod going to get too drunk and pass out?

It's a race against time, as we don't have much time before Herod is drunk as a skunk, begging me for money because he bought liquor with all of his own money.

Herod's plan is to make the boat out of a big oil drum.

He will cut the drum in half, and then make the sharper nose that I explained to him, out of one of the halves, while the other half will be the body of the boat.

It's a god darn noise all over the entire homestead, as Herod is hammering the steel drum and cutting with a grinder and hammering some more and bending it and bashing it and having his way with it and mangling it and trying to form the shape out of it.

But it doesn't seem he's going to manage it. I'm not sure what's wrong but it's been hours and hours and hours, and my excitement has waned.

The day ends, and Herod is still not finished with my boat. He did manage to get pretty drunk though. Oh how he loves to work with powertools while he's drunk. He probably goes like in a trance with all the noise and the effect of alcohol. Must be quite a party in his head.

Well, when will he have time to work on the boat now? Probably not soon.

So, the next day I just decide to take the one half that was going to be the body of the boat and use that as a boat.

It's still very smeary and oily and filthy with oil all over the inside, but I just take a big black refuse bag and place it all over the inside of the thing so I can sit in it.

I place the drum slash boat on the water of the irrigation dam.

Majesty and I get in.

The boat sinks down until the edges stick about half a centimeter to a centimeter out above the surface of the water.

Ok, if we just sit very, very, very, very still and not make any quick movements, we can ride the boat over the water.

Sometimes a bit of water comes in over the edge, but at least we are on the water of the dam in a sort of boat. Hooray!

Well I think it's hooray. Right?

Naah, I don't like this boat. I really don't.

I still go riding in it on the dam for a day or two, but then I decide this isn't successful enough. This isn't the boat I wanted. I want a proper rowboat that I can move in and have picnics in and do river rafting with and whatnot.

I'm afraid my ship has still not come in.

But at least I'm enjoying the Smarties, that is chocolate candies, while I have to sit very still in this thing on the water. My father's supermarket, Quantity Supermarket, closed down recently and the stock came home with us, so I have a stash of candy that every child dreams of but can't have unless they receive the entire stock of a supermarket.

Yep, the sweets make the boating trip worthwhile.

But I shall keep wishing for a boat that I can have actual adventures with. This thing is a disgrace that I'm sailing in currently. Thanks anyway Herod; you tried but I need more and better.

And the spirit of myself shall dance over the waters, even in the dark before light, and I shall say, "this boat is good".

See more on MarzeusvonHemelen.com


Boat, Boating, Marzeus Von Hemelen Marzeus, Raft, Rafting, River, Water

Meet the author

author avatar Marzeus von Hemelen
I like eggs for breakfast. I live on top of a hill inside a beautiful but old dwelling complex. I like to take life in through my senses and then give feedback through my writing.

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