How I'm turning my fears into oppurtunity for growth.

cdholy By cdholy, 9th Sep 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Diaries

Turning my downtime into a stepping stone .
Changing my view of fears.

Oppurtunity hits me.

Oppurtunity can smack you dead in the face and at first
It looks looks completely and totally unlike an oppurtunity.
It looks like a huge fear that has never been faced before.
I've seen this fear before and I kept it as a fear suppressed deep inside
My dark memories of getting through a rough time by
Somehow finding a shortcut around it. When I should've taken it in and
Learned from the facing of it head on.
Now it's back and it's grown a lot taller and thicker than before.

I fell so hard

So he left me again. My boyfriend of 8 years left me again.
The last time I fell so hard I couldn't function without him.
It was really bad how lost I was when he left and I did everything
I could to get him to come back. He did come back but
I am pretty sure it was only because he didn't wan to
Stay at his parents any longer. We'll 2 years later hes gone again and
This time I have no choice but to take it as an oppurtunity for change and growth
Within myself. This really has nothing to do with him and a heartbreak but
More so about the fact that god is obviously showing me that I missed
This life lesson the first time so it showed up again and a lot louder.

So how exactly will I learn this time?

I will take a deep breathe and remember that I can write out my feelings to comfort myself. I will have my schedule planned out and posted in my house in a few places I know I will see it. The same things with my goals and a few positive words painted on my walls . This will be the building of the support that I need surrounding me while I'm still living
In our home. It will also be the rebuilding of myself through facing the fear of the fall and hanging on to the good things that are happening in my life and learning all I can from
This so I will not have to go through this again especially with him.

Tags

Alone, Dumped, Fear, Growth, Lonely, Lost, Seek

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author avatar cdholy
Deep thoughts by Christy Holy

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Comments

author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
9th Sep 2013 (#)

We need to move on after learning the lessons - siva

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author avatar pohtiongho
9th Sep 2013 (#)

Strong people can forgive and forget. After a fall most people come out even stronger.

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author avatar Fern Mc Costigan
10th Sep 2013 (#)

Very well said in thoise words filled with wisdom!

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author avatar Stella Mitchell
10th Sep 2013 (#)

I don't think God set you up to go through this situation again my friend , but I know He will help you , if you seek His help , to go through it now ...I only hope your selfish boyfriend doesn't think he can walk in and out of your life as and when it suits him ....that would never be God's plan for your life ...He only has good for your future , and you are not any man's emotional doormat to walk over as they choose .
I pray you are able to forgive and move on ,knowing that you are not alone if you put your trust in the Lord my friend .
God bless you
Stella >I<

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