How To Be A Newfoundlander

NLTreasures By NLTreasures, 19th Oct 2011 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Poetry

How To Be A Newfoundlander is a poem about the qualifications needed to be a Newfoundlander, a how-to for mainlanders

How To Be A Newfoundlander

To be a true Newfoundlander
you must alter your taste
if you wanna be like us
and not feel outta place
a Newfoundlander can spot ya
clear cross the Bay
so if ya wanna be like us
start actin’ this way

Dress like a fisherman
in raggedy ole clothes
stay out in the cold wind
get a drop to yer nose
wear a pair of knee rubbers
faded blue overalls
and don’t gasp for ya breath
when hit by the squalls

wear checkered plaid shirts
complete with some holes
and smell like a Codfish
this enhances your goals
stick a pipe between teeth
but don’t bother to light
just fumble the matches
to make it look right

Be sure theres burnt matches
left in the box
and pull off a rubber
to expose woolen socks
and in yer back pocket
of the old faded Jeans
have a flask of the Screech
where its plainly seen.

And under your arm
have a six pack of beer
indicating to all
that your E.I. is here
and don’t waste your time
by combing your hair
pull on a stockin’ cap
and head down to the pier

Now speech is the hardest
only speak when you must
cursing and swearing in utter disgust
there’s more I could tell ya
but you just might get by
so come mix with us Newfies
and give it a try.


Beer, Boots, Burnt Matches, How To Be A Newfoundlander, Knee Rubbers, Overalls, Screechrum, Squalls

Meet the author

author avatar NLTreasures
I was born and raised in Bryants Cove, Newfoundland, Canada, in 1957
I enjoy writing Poetry, short stories, and creating videos with Music. My website can be found at

Share this page

moderator Mark Gordon Brown moderated this page.
If you have any complaints about this content, please let us know


Add a comment
Can't login?