How To Be A Newfoundlander

NLTreasures By NLTreasures, 19th Oct 2011 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/1jdn0avj/
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Poetry

How To Be A Newfoundlander is a poem about the qualifications needed to be a Newfoundlander, a how-to for mainlanders

How To Be A Newfoundlander

To be a true Newfoundlander
you must alter your taste
if you wanna be like us
and not feel outta place
a Newfoundlander can spot ya
clear cross the Bay
so if ya wanna be like us
start actin’ this way

Dress like a fisherman
in raggedy ole clothes
stay out in the cold wind
get a drop to yer nose
wear a pair of knee rubbers
faded blue overalls
and don’t gasp for ya breath
when hit by the squalls

wear checkered plaid shirts
complete with some holes
and smell like a Codfish
this enhances your goals
stick a pipe between teeth
but don’t bother to light
just fumble the matches
to make it look right

Be sure theres burnt matches
left in the box
and pull off a rubber
to expose woolen socks
and in yer back pocket
of the old faded Jeans
have a flask of the Screech
where its plainly seen.

And under your arm
have a six pack of beer
indicating to all
that your E.I. is here
and don’t waste your time
by combing your hair
pull on a stockin’ cap
and head down to the pier

Now speech is the hardest
only speak when you must
cursing and swearing in utter disgust
there’s more I could tell ya
but you just might get by
so come mix with us Newfies
and give it a try.

Tags

Beer, Boots, Burnt Matches, How To Be A Newfoundlander, Knee Rubbers, Overalls, Screechrum, Squalls

Meet the author

author avatar NLTreasures
I was born and raised in Bryants Cove, Newfoundland, Canada, in 1957
I enjoy writing Poetry, short stories, and creating videos with Music. My website can be found at newfoundlandtreasures.com

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