I Am...

Akira By Akira, 17th Nov 2015 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/q0snwf01/
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Poetry

Love yourself. Cherish yourself. Sometimes you are all you have.

I Am...

I am terrified
Of falling too hard, too fast
Of disappointing you
Of losing you
Of falling in love

I am paranoid
Maybe you’ll find someone
Prettier, smarter, shorter, skinnier
Someone who isn’t afraid of how they feel
Someone who isn’t afraid to simply be themselves

I am not perfect
Scars, baggage, stories
Make me who I am
They say love is blind
I say they’re wrong

I am human
Not a statistic
Not a waste of space
Not an object
Not a waste of time

I am loved
Maybe not by you
Maybe not by them
Maybe not by the world
But by myself

I am me.

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Comments

author avatar Mitiria
18th Nov 2015 (#)

Wonderfully done. Shows the understanding of a betrayed and scared soul of judgment, but still standing tall to focus on the main importance. The voice of many young and troubled souls. Keep it going.

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author avatar Akira
18th Nov 2015 (#)

Thank you! All of your input is very much appreciated.

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author avatar Lady Aiyanna
18th Nov 2015 (#)

Now the next question, how much of YOU is YOU. If you are such a person, you are not YOU but a negative soul who is deriding your God from within with negative triggers that just don't want to see the positive side of what you gained.

Now don't tell me I don't know what betrayal is, I do. I was betrayed by my childs father who chose an Aussie French Pornstar over me and left his child and wife homeless, jobless etc. I could have killed myself but I have a child so I slogged, without pay, became a government beggar for months and finally in all secrecy from friendly enemies, two suicide hoaxes, one on television which was real and the other a game for the other wanted to get famous, I managed to pull my life together singlehandedly.
Now there is no recipe for success but perseverance and the best thing I ever did was kick the husband out and live on my own with no other male, female or otherwise by my side. I have been dry and clean without sex since 2010, ever since the husband left me as he has been trying to frame me for infidelity but ended up framing himself by Gods grace and I proved my truth and walked away.
Now, if I took an outlook like you, I would have been dead in 2007 when I discovered his numerous affairs and his blond bimbo girlfriend who sleeping with him from when I was pregnant. I lived because I know the triggers and where honesty is hidden and once I played him I got the whole truth out as his story was not corroborating to our life we led. Learnt his slut was sending me communication and I walked out child in hand and have been living single since. I am not relationship material so I stay away from men because of this although ALL swoon and fall for me, age no exception but I say no and till date it is the same.

Now I am not abnormal, I just know that I cry if I even try a relationship i.e. by chatting so say NEVER AGAIN and walk out for my soul satisfaction but learnt all men are bastards with their brains in their dicks and they keep it in a hole for safekeeping aka the womanly space so its thanks but no thanks, I am more ME alone and not with a male, female or otherwise.

Well, your type is a rebound type who will hope into bed with any male who will show you emotional understanding. Take care, they love making women like you prostitutes.

I take it you are Japanese??? Good luck.

Any way, I know the name is Japanese as a friend had a female dog named Akira too. Not a good comparison, none intended but that is how I learnt the name.

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author avatar Lady Aiyanna
18th Nov 2015 (#)

Just don't become a bitch with superficial positivity, it common, as your staff becomes alcohol and drugs.

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author avatar Mitiria
18th Nov 2015 (#)

I feel that you have good intentions with your words Lady Aiyanna, but please understand (This being my opinion and understanding your view of men and not disagreeing with you that men are dicks cause they mostly are due to them being taught not to feel or have a lack of empathy) they are harsh and I don't feel they are needed here. I understand that you have been hurt and don't wish for someone to stray from good habits to falling in despair, but she has created an outlet here. Please do not ruin it for her. You yourself also writes very well with a lot of feeling and emotion. Display your frustrations in your own pages. Also thank you for being a reader of our works. You are much appreciated.

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author avatar Akira
18th Nov 2015 (#)

Lady Aiyanna, I understand where you're coming from, but I'm not sure you get what I'm trying to say here. Even in the worst of times when you feel alone and unwanted (much like what you mentioned) you are all you have. You have to learn to love yourself and forget about all of the negative people out there. I have seen too many people with a dark cloud over their head these days because they want approval from someone else. They don't see the beautiful things about them and their situations that are staring them right in the face. I definitely understand where you are coming from though. However, I most certainly am not a "rebound type" as you described. I have the highest respect for myself and can tell a good egg from a bad one. Also I am not Japanese. I just appreciate their art and culture. I appreciate your concern.

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