I chose to live

WOGIAM By WOGIAM, 2nd Feb 2015 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Personal Experiences

This is based on the true story of a woman who experienced verbal and emotional abuse and manipulation, no blow was thrown, she was never hit but the effects of what she went through were probably as bad.

The abuse started gradually

I survived and have to a large extent, overcome 10 years of living with verbal and emotional abuse, i was a victim of lies, contempt and hurt all caused by someone who had a chip on his own shoulders.
It was subtle at the begining and before i realised it, it had become a constant in my life. Everything i did and/or did not do, was critised, sometimes dressed up as advice or suggestions.
I was compared to the world and its wife, every step i took, was reported to his so called "friends", they had to approve all that went on in the house as they were his role models, what a laugh.
The ex blamed his failings, including his infidelity on me, i was called proud, not supportive and not submissive.
I was losing who i really was, i changed from a beautiful, loving, confident, jolly person to a tensed, stressed, angry and confused individual.
My commitment to make things work and resolve issues without inviting other parties, was mistaken for fear and weakness, this may have been true to some extent, but when a person is down, it gets to a time when they fear no further fall, my will power, strenght, faith which my solid upbringing and the love of my family had instilled in me, when i was growing up began to show face (literally) and i realised that i was responsible for my own happiness and success.

The attitude, complexes, choices which other people choose to make are a reflection of themselves and i decided to make the change.

My fight back

No one has power over another unless we let them.
I was drowning in the misery of what i could otherwise put a stop to, i knew that i deserved the best and i decided to aim for and achieve this.

My experience at boarding school, had taught me that abusers, bullies are cowards who can not cope with a quarter of the abuse, harm, negative attitude, they dish out to others, i took the step and started to stand up for myself.

He walked out one night, i was alone with my our children, not working or entitled to support of any kind but i lnew deep down that it was for better, finding my feet was rough, tough and a long road, which i am still on, there are still uneven patches four years on, but i am healing, the real me is coming out again, i am finding my lost passions for things, singing again in the shower, appreciating myself in the way only me can.
Most of all, my children are gowing up in a kinder environment, nothing beats the spontaneous sounds of joy. laughter which echos around my home.

My faith, belief, hope in God Almighty was and is my anchor in life.
I am alive, i chose to live.

Tags

Emotional Abuse, Live, Overcome, Tense, Verbal Abuse

Meet the author

author avatar WOGIAM
I read almost every and anything.
I love books, travelling (when I can afford to), cooking and eating.

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Comments

author avatar Carol Roach
2nd Feb 2015 (#)

good for you hon, believe in your self and your strength

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author avatar GenkiWorld
2nd Feb 2015 (#)

when faced with life adversity like that, we all should chose to live, great work!

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author avatar Utah Jay
2nd Feb 2015 (#)

You are so right, no one should have power over anyone. And yes...Good for you.

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author avatar Stella Mitchell
3rd Feb 2015 (#)

I had a similar background dear WOGIAM..
But , thanks be to God ....That is no longer my future ...and I pray it will never be part of yours .
God bless you richly with His love ,peace and joy ....always.
Stella ><

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author avatar WOGIAM
3rd Feb 2015 (#)

Thank you Craol, it is never easy when ones dreams and expectations turn out to be nightmares, but making the decision and taking positve actions help.

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author avatar spirited
11th Feb 2015 (#)

"No one has power over another unless we let them"

The trouble is that when we fear them, we give our power away to them then too, but how can we not fear people like this?

Perhaps you answered this question for me when you said this,

"My faith, belief, hope in God Almighty was and is my anchor in life.
I am alive, i chose to live."

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author avatar WOGIAM
12th Feb 2015 (#)

I had to dig deep and hold on to my faith to give me the courage to take the steps to break free, when there is no physical /obvious abuse, it can be difficult to even realise that what one is experiencing is abuse.

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