I fall in love with the broken hearts

Coral Attaberry By Coral Attaberry, 7th Feb 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/2wt6md2w/
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Personal Experiences

I love the black sheep of this fold and I love the hearts that have been trampled on.

Loving the Lost

I'm in love with broken people. There, I said it. I'm writing this partially to explain my situation but mostly to find out why I really do because honestly, I don't know. If my personal life was pictured as a home, it would be a sky blue salt box house on a green hill surrounded by wild flowers and have a perfectly white picket fence. That's how it looks on the outside. Inside, I'm a mess. And I have absolutely no reason to be. I have the perfect family, the perfect school, the perfect church, the perfect place to live, everything is perfect. But I'm unhappy.
Now there are others, many others, who do not share the same blessings I have but they're unhappy too. Those are 99% of the people in my life, excluding my family. I swear I'm honey and they're flies, but I feel like a fly. Everyone thinks I'm this perfect person who must be perfectly happy too because I have everything. truth is, they're wrong. Does that make me a spoiled brat? I don't try to be. I know I've been given everything and I'm so blessed. I don't ask for much. So why does my broken heart collect others fragmented pieces and lost dreams and torn families?
I think I'm finally figuring it out by writing this.
My life truly is great. And people are attracted to that. I know how to hide the chaos inside me so they don't see that. They see this girl who has energy and happiness to love and help all. And I want to be that, so bad. But it's tiring on my soul. I feel weighed down. I'm expected to be caring for all of these lost sheep but I don't even know where I'm going myself.
With all this said, I still love them, every broken soul I've met. They're all wonderful in my eyes and I can see their divine potential if they could just grasp it. I'm totally open to advice, comments, anything, Mostly, I just needed to verbalize how I feel.

Tags

Conflict, Confused, Confusion, Difficult Times, Difficulties, Difficulty, Learning, Life, Life Changing, Life Experience, Life Journey, Love, Love Story, Loved Ones

Meet the author

author avatar Coral Attaberry
Red head, student, humanitarian wannabe, let me share my crazy life with you <3

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Comments

author avatar Krentz
19th Apr 2013 (#)

Coral, I'm a staunch believer that the worth of a life cannot be measured by its external objective value alone. It is clear you have had to grapple with your fair degree of spiritual distress; and I feel that rationalisations and justifications are entirely surplus to requirements. There are some very broken people in this world. I tentatively consider myself as one of them though I, like yourself, do not have much to complain of save for the breakdown of the single greatest relationship I have ever known, and the only romantic one. I feel as though in my reflections and meditations I have come to know some degree of the madness the human mind is capable of, and when daring to venture into the realms of the distraught and despairing I would caution you to guard your feelings. However, being that I still care about people and the single greatest obstacle withholding me from any truly meaningful and intimate human contact is the thought that my struggles will overwhelm them, I will act, perhaps somewhat pretentiously, as spokesperson on behalf of all the world's spiritually marginalised peoples and say that we are grateful for your attentions, your affections and your compassion; though while I cannot speak truly for others, I must say that I would be drawn to you not for the purported perfection of your life, but rather for your empathy and your own brokenness.

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