Let's go on a vacation to experience more stress than we can at home

Marzeus von Hemelen By Marzeus von Hemelen, 11th Oct 2015 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/2zf7hj1z/
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Diaries

For some months now, I have finally been feeling like I need a vacation. I love what I do, so I seldom if ever even think about stopping to do it so I can go on a long vacation. I just didn't need it.

But once every few years, I do feel I want to go be quiet somewhere and think and relax.

Let's go on a vacation to experience more stress than we can at home

And I felt that for the past month or two. Just a short vacation of a week or two will do, to just see my life objectively from somewhere else.

Then I started shooting Timebotics, so it's a bit untimely now to go on vacation, but for some days now Mother has told me that they will be going to the Land Of The West for about 10 days. Since I needed a vacation before I started filming Timebotics, I agreed to go with them.

Yay! I'm even excited about it. I don't think I've been on vacation in two or three years. It's about time I'd say.

Father as always hints at even staying longer than ten days. I don't know why but Father loves it there so much, that just about every time Mother is the one who finally drags them back to their home here.

This time, because of Father's wanting to stay as long as possible, Mother asks "And what are the three of us going to do all that time?", referring to Father, Mother and I. Waldorf the handyman is also going, to fix a few things around there.

Mother's question makes me smile. What are we going to do? Hopefully not much, as I just want to go be all relaxed without worries or anything to do. Breaking away from everything and everybody here for a while, and going to relax there physically and emotionally outside of my life looking in on it, is my idea of a relaxing vacation. Usually my own life looks so different and I see things much clearly when I go away somewhere and just relax there, thinking about how I can improve my life. It just seems so much simpler when you are removed from the chaos of it and can think up plans for it from a safe, relaxing distance.

This vacation can be quite relaxing if it's just the three of us. When Father, Mother and I are together, things are usually very calm and relaxed. It seems we have personalities that take care of each other whilst not being overtly demanding or conflicting.

I can already see Father occupying himself making some food and meals, and other than that just staying in bed all day reading books. Reading for hours and days is his idea of relaxation.

Mother of course will clean and organize and create order. That's her idea of being. She'll clean the entire house and move furniture to better positions and add some touch of decorating. Then she'll see if there isn't somebody she can take care of or provide a nice suprise for, like a cold drink or a small snack, like for Father or me, or if we're happy she'll enquire if the servants are sleeping warm enough and if they have enough food and what else might they need, so she can get it for them. If all around her are happy, she'll start calling or texting her children far away to enquire how they are doing.

As for myself, I can see me taking my laptop, sitting down overlooking the canyons and mountains, finishing my script at a relaxed pace, planning Timebotics clearly, and other than that I'll also read books a lot, and come the later, cooler afternoons, I'll go on very long walks of about two hours each, in order to improve my fitness for Timebotics.

It's going to be glorious. Can't wait.

Then one evening, four days before our departure, suddenly I hear Mother and Father talk about special, rather silent arrangements they are making for Petros to come too and to go back, of course all at Mother and Father's expense and they even have to arrange everything for him, their 50 year old baby. Of course there are lots of special finnicky things that need to be adhered to, like dates and times he "must" be back for some nonsense or other. Asif he has any true obligations. He always likes to pretend that he has a life to get back to, of course not fooling anyone.

Petros is going to be there too???????????? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! GOD NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What in blazes?????

I lose my appetite where were are watching TV and eating supper in Mother and Father's big bedroom.

What was all this talk of Mother about just the three of us being there then? That would have been nice, relaxing and a care-free atmosphere.

With Petros there, there's always stress. What always happens is Mother and Petros team up against Father and everybody else, being totally ridiculous and unreasonable and being awefully demanding, and then Father is in a state and doesn't enjoy it, and of course it's never long before Petros loves to make me lose my temper by being demanding, rude, throwing insults my way, and whatnot.

I remember last time we were there, all as a family, Harrison and Petros were fighting all the time because Petros came all the insane distance with Harrison but didn't contribute a cent for the transport, and then when there, Petros wanted to take Harrison's car for long joyrides to go visit some potential whores or girls Petros doesn't even know, without Harrison's permission, and when Harrison said no Petros acted about the same as he did once when Father refused Petros a car and Petros hit Father in the face so his glasses cut into his nose. Except of course, Harrison doesn't take crap from Petros and will beat him in a physical fight any time. Tensions ran extremely high between them that vacation.

Furthermore, Petros just sat there at his computer all day and barked orders at me to sweep the floor and whatnot. I hated his being there and his misplaced conceitedness. Father and Mother couldn't get along as long as Petros is there.

And to top it off, one of Harrison's little girls had influenza and passed it on to me. I was sick for the rest of the vacation. Aside from passing on diseases, little children also need attention and want to be entertained ALL OF THE TIME, and then they want to create chaos and noise, always breaking things and drawing on things and damaging things and stealing things. I'm not much of an other people's children person.

So, though my head said I should cherish the time and make more time to be with my whole family together, somehow I just get this negative feeling of revulsion with my emotions whenever I think about the whole family being together. I remember all the tension and stress. I can't remember the last time it was really fun. Because it feels like being together with the family for longer than a few hours, causes this dark cloud of depression and negative feelings to form in their company. Petros is probably the biggest contributor of the unbearable tensions, and he seems addicted to it. He's really always seeing how much power he can have over everybody around him, and how much he can get out of them and manipulate them and make them do his bidding, all the time trying to beat them down below him with snyde remarks. Which is so unnecessary and rude of him.

Anyway, once we've watched a rather weak episode of Frasier, I leave Mother and Father's company with few words of goodbye, as the words don't come to me now that my dreams of a relaxed vacation have once again been smashed to bits. It's obvious now why Father and Mother don't tell me beforehand when Petros will be visiting too, because they know I won't be going anymore then.

I even have trouble falling asleep the night, because I keep thinking about how my vacation I have so looked forward to, is now just going to be another bunch of days I wish would pass quickly. And when I have trouble falling asleep, the next day I might as well write off - I won't get to do anything and if I try, I won't enjoy it and stop mid-way anyway.

Well, next morning Mother and I work in Studio C on our children's film. It's just as miserable a scene as my emotions, because it's a rainy scene that takes place outside the cat's home. Pressurized sprayers create the rain, while fans blowing in all directions make the rain into a rainstorm. Mother has already done her hair for the day, but too bad for her because her hair gets drooping wet. We have to work the animals in the film, from very uncomfortable positions where we can't be seen by the camera. We're all wet and with the fans blowing up a storm, we're also cold. Cold and wet. And I'm tired and a bit irritated from not getting enough sleep. Miserable I tells ya.

And to top it off, outside it really begins to rain. So odd; this isn't the first time that when we create a rainy scene on our set, when we step outside it's raining in reality.

Afterwards, Father and Mother and I eat our breakfast on the West Wing stoep as usual, but it's cold and rainy outside. I was still wet from our studio shoot, that is why I came outside to the stoep to sit down instead of on the furniture indoors. And, Father seeing me there, came to serve me my breakfast there, and then Mother came, and now we're all sitting outside looking at the cold dark day, even though it's too cold really to be out here.

Father complains about being cold, but we're already halfway through breakfast and might as well finish eating here now.

"Your exercises seem to be working", Mother starts a conversation with me.

"Why do you say that?", I ask her.

"You look skinnier and fitter", she replies.

"Well, I hope I do, because I already started shooting two days ago on that movie I'm getting in shape for."

Well, I'm glad to know I look better to the point where it's visible. Hopefully I'll only look better and better and better now, and not get fat on this upcoming vacation.

But about that vacation... I have actually semi-decided I'm not going.

"So who are all going to the Land Of The West?", I ask.

"Everybody except Harrison", replies Father.

"You probably will go there again soon?", I ask.

Father and Mother immediately know my thoughts.

"No, don't do that!", Father says with a sad face. "Don't chicken out now!"

"I wanted to go relax", I tell them. "I really aren't in the mood for MORE stress."

Before I can even stop myself, their following protests just make it all blurt out of my mouth. It simply flows out of me that Mother and Petros are going to team up against everyone and Father is going to be in a state because he just can't win or have any control when those two are around, and I'm going to wish the time would fly because Petros is going to deliberately make me angry. We will all be miserable and I will just wish it will end soon and then I won't go with the family anywhere for another eight years.

Well, my poor parents assure me that this time will be different. Yeah right.

Father says he's not going to have any hard talks with Petros. Mother says Petros is going to stay in the outside room (WHICH IS MINE!!!!!!!), so he can "work on his studies".

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's started!!!!! Petros is going to "study"????? What absolute baloney!! That's exactly why things will go haywire. Petros hasn't worked on his studies since he left here, and now he's going to go on vacation but will feel guilty all the time that he's not studying, so he'll be in a rotten mood and when he gets in a rotten mood he makes everyone miserable.

WHY THE HELL IS HE ALWAYS SETTING HIMSELF UP FOR FAILURE???

He's going to fail his studies again this year, just like he did last year. Mark my words. He doesn't WANT to study. He just went to that university because he wanted to pretend he's like one of the young people there. He's just wasting money. His life is a show. And a bad one at that.

And in his eyes, I'm just going to be his boxing bag again that he will hit and insult every time he feels down.

Well, Mother is getting ready to go to work and then of course talks all the usual talk of how we should cherish time together.

"We don't necessarily have a lot of time we can all spend together as a family", she says.

"Thank God for that!", I respond sarcastically.

"Glad you believe in God", she says.

We laugh.

Mother is looking all spick and span for work. There's something pretty about her that she can bring out when she wants to sometimes.

While Mother is leaving to go to work, she says that now that she's selling housing to a lot of older and old people, she has seen what loneliness is. I'm taking it she means Petros is one of the loneliest f***s in the world and we must help.

That's why we're seeing him again, even though he just left the other day from having been here for a long visit. Life is funny; there was a time when Petros moved away to the other side of the country because he wanted nothing to do with his family, other than to exploit them when he could get something out of them. When Mother visited him, and the two of them go out in public, he would walk some distance away from her and pretend like he doesn't know her and he's not here with her, so people don't think he's with his mommy or worse, that he's dating an old woman or some crap only he can think up in his immature mind.

Years ago I also visited him with Mother, but when we went out to dine for the evening at a restaurant, Petros acted like an immature child complaining about how I look and how I dress. Not that I was looking unearthly, but Petros just WANTED to be ashamed of his family, now that we are with him where other people can see him. Needless to say, I never felt like visiting him ever again.

Anyway, after basically throwing us all away like that and not caring about us for about twenty years, now suddenly he wants to visit us and go with us everywhere. Now that he's probably learned that in life, all you have is family, now he wants to pretend like he still has family and that we've been the biggest of friends all this time. The injustice sickens me.

Whatever, I knew this wasn't something I could win. Bye bye relaxing vacation. It was a nice fantasy dream, ever elusive. Let's just get this stressful alternative over and done with so we can do charity to the lonely and be insulted and broken by them. If I'm even going. I can't decide yet. I'm put off now.

Mother sees the pants I've been wearing in our rain shoot. "Just don't go to town in those pants", she says. "They're dirty."

"Of course they're dirty! We've been playing indoors in the rain, remember?", I say.

Yeah we smile at that too.

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Tags

Bad Time, Good Time, Holiday, Horrible, Stress, Stressed Out, Travel, Travelling, Vacation

Meet the author

author avatar Marzeus von Hemelen
I like eggs for breakfast. I live on top of a hill inside a beautiful but old dwelling complex. I like to take life in through my senses and then give feedback through my writing.

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