Letters to Mom

Quoiky By Quoiky, 6th Jul 2014 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Letters

These are letters about everyday life written to my deceased mother.

I Miss You

Dear Mom,
You put up with a lot of crap from outside sources as we were growing up, mostly from well meaning relatives, but you raised eight kids to adulthood in spite of the interferences. None of us killed anybody, robbed any banks, sold drugs to kids or became hookers. You were able to feed, clothe, whack us if we needed it, love all of us and teach us that family is more important than material things. All of us have more respect for you than she’ll ever know.

Dear Mom,
Today is Mother’s Day. To me, it just means another year without you, Mom. I think about you every day and miss you tremendously. And, I don’t care what any one says, no matter how many years have passed... you don’t “get over it” ... you just get through it. I still love you, Mom. Happy Mother’s Day.


Dear Mom,
On this day in history - 43 years ago today - I promised to love, honor, & cherish this tall, hunk of masculine sexiness, dressed in a Navy dress-blue uniform. We have supported each other through health and sickness (I could tell ya about some sicknesses and surgeries we have had that would make your butt pucker); through the death of family members (as we looked in disbelief at some of the ‘fake-mourners’). We lived in six different homes (five in Florida, and one in Michigan).

We had five children (God decided we should keep only two). We have two very handsome sons, one sweet little grand daughter and two rowdy grand sons. We’ve had numerous pets over the years; some were really smart, some were sorta smart, and some were just plain stupid. (As you know, I usually picked the ‘just plain stupid’ ones.)

We done got our extra schoolin, but I always thought your son-in-law was the epitome of smartness, while I, on the other hand, am the epitome of smart-ass-ness. We have had tons of disagreements and fights, but I can honestly say that for me at least, our good times have well out-weighed the bad by about 42 years. That’s a ratio of forty-two to one for all you math majors and gamblers. (That one year was spread out over the 43 years of wedded bliss, usually around Income Tax time.) I am one lucky, white-haired, old woman and I would do it all again, exactly the same way OK, maybe with a FEW changes.

It simply amazes me that your son-in-law has been able to put up with all my crap for the past 42 years. I don’t know how that’s possible since I’m only 39, but stranger things have happened.

For example, how does a fine lookin, tall drink of water, just ooozin with masculinity, kindness, charm, and ‘man-of-the-world’ suaveness end up with a short and squatty, all ass and no body, talentless, mouthy, opinionated woman? I think I’m the luckiest woman in the world.

I’ve been asked a couple of times over the years … ‘knowin what I know today, would I still have married the same guy?’ I’m not positive what your son-in-law's answer is, but I don’t have to give it much thought… it’s always a resounding “YES!”

What can I say? He knows all my secrets, all my deepest good/not so good thoughts, all my idiosyncrasies, all my ‘caution’ buttons and when NOT to push ‘em, and what to do to ‘un-ruffle’ my feathers, once those buttons have been pushed. He knows all my likes and ‘I-wanna-kick-her-ass-dislikes’, and all the places I have hidden the bodies, and by the same token, I know his.

It took a lot of work, patience, and love to get this far – mostly on his part.

Dear Mom,
Why is it that people find it necessary to make fun of others, especially those with disabilities? Whether its mental or physical, they are people too! They have feelings! They are NOT contagious! If ya think about it... everybody has SOME disability, otherwise we'd all be the same. We could all write music like the Beatles or Mozart, paint like DiVinci or Dali, or sing like Bette Midler, Lady GaGa, or The Black Eyed Peas. I just don't get it. I'm glad you raised us to treat everybody with respect.

Dear Mom,
I woke up this morning and had to take a quick COLD shower. I had the same reoccurring dream about your son-in-law, and this time it was so realistic. I could hear his heart beat. I could feel his hot breath on my neck and his moist lips on my cheek. Then when I did wake up – I found my dog lickin my face ‘cause she had to go pee. Eeeeuuuuuuuwwww!!! Dog germs!!

Accidents and Antics

Dear Mom,
Today, I mowed all the grass, and I didn’t get the mower stuck on a tree, or a big rock, or in a hole … and I didn’t get a flat tire. This may seem trivial to most, but to me and your grandson, it was AMAZING.

The only event of the day was when I was mowing under a big tree with some storm-damaged limbs. Just under the tree, I hit a gopher hole, which caused the mower to bounce; which caused my fat bottom to bounce high enough to hit one of the branches; which caused the branch to hook securely to the back of my shirt; which caused my shirt to rip, and in the process, brought the branch down… on my head... numerous times, because it was still alive and still partially connected to the tree... and my shirt.

It was like a skit from the three stooges. If I moved forward, my shirt would choke me; if I moved backward, the branch would whack me on the head. The ‘up’ side was when my dog actually stopped barking to watch the live comedy. Poor thing probably thought I was having seizures.

Dear Mom,
This has been an emotionally and physically exhausting week. I had a cyst lacerated/drained on my lower eye lid, so I’m out of commission for bending and stooping for a while and I’m trying to be ‘there’ for your grandson and his kids as he closes the book on his relationship with his (&^%$#@!) wife and starts over again. All I gotta say is this….. “Don’t stir the shit pot, unless you’re willing to lick the spoon!” You can look at that however you wish.

Dear Mom,
It's the start of another Sunday. After my shower this morning – I took my dog out to play while I relaxed in my ‘grand-kids-friendly’-beat up hammock. I sat there with my legs dangling over the edge imitating the grand kids, thinking about life and how funny and how quickly things change. For example, things like the weather; the colors of the sunrise, or sunset; the wealth and strength of a once mighty nation; and my opinion of someone.

As I sat there deep in thought, contemplating the meaning of life, I was jarred back to reality by a quick ‘SQAWK!’ followed by a warm sensation spreading across my left temple, down my head, nose, glasses, and cheek and across my lips. Stupid feather-headed bird done shat upon my head! The nerve!!

Mom, you know I’m not keen on hurting anything, but if I had my gun, (I’d probably have missed) but that stupid sonofamotherlovinbird would know I meant business! See if I leave him any more bird seeds! Excuse me while I go shower again.

Dear Mom,
Today I was returning from the airport and it started to snow pretty hard. As I was exiting the interstate my car did two donuts. Cute little curlie-Q's. I'm so delighted there were no other cars around, and that I didn't end up in the ditch. I had to go home & change my drawers after that.

I was putting my nativity scene away after the holidays, and somehow I lost the baby Jesus - so I decided I'd just get one at the 'after Christmas clearance' sale. So I explained what I needed to the lady at the store - not realizing that there was an older woman not too far away, just kinda listening.

All she heard me say was... "I lost Jesus". Then she went into this whole speech about how important it was for me to find the Lord again for my own salvation. I don't know why she got mad when I started laughing...out loud...real LOUD.

Crazy Weather

Dear Mom,
The snow has finally stopped and the yard and trees look like somebody sprinkled glitter all over Mother Nature’s painting. It’s beautiful, especially when the sun hits it just right. My dog loves it too. She jumps like a kangaroo in the snow, then she buries her head all the way past her ears and comes back up with snow all over her face, ears and head. What a goof ball.

Dear Mom,
We had seven inches of snow last night, and it's still snowing. It’s beginning to crawl up the window panes like some alien, blob monster. Everything under the fresh snow is frozen, of course, and that makes it really treacherous to walk – at least in my driveway and on the porch.

I couldn’t help notice how absolutely beautiful the snowflakes were. Amazing how such small things can give a person such pleasure. I like shiny objects, too.

When I take my dog out, she kinda spins around on the ice like a top – with a little help from me. But, when she tried to stand on the ice by herself, she kinda flopped on her belly like Bambi with all four legs in different directions.

Dear Mom,
Everything outside looks like melted marsh-mellow cream with specks of sparkly sugar. What a sight! It's kinda pretty. Everything looks so clean, smooth, unblemished... I can't tell where the road starts and the ditch begins-but, I imagine all those cars/trucks/vans I see dotting the side of the road who were swallowed up by the snow drifts have a pretty good idea. I think I'll just cozy up and stay inside today even tho the temperature has warmed up to 10 degrees.

I spent the morning messing up my beautiful sparkly, sugary landscape. I Made a path right through the marsh-mellow cream to get to the mail box. I Didn’t realize the snow was past my knees. I know, that’s not necessarily very deep for some people, but if your short, like me, well every inch doth count. I slipped on the under layer of ice and fell face-first into the snow, I was ready to get a blow torch and make a slushy. Note to self: Using your arms to stop your fall into a snow drift does nothing except make your hands, arms and face wet.

Dear Mom,
The snow has finally stopped! Even the tiny white pallets that covered all the tracks are no longer dancing from the clouds. The temperatures are still in the low 30’s high 20’s and everything is still frozen. The existing snow has a layer of crusted ice – kinda reminds me of a very well cooked sugar cookie.

Dear Mom,
It warmed up enough yesterday for most of the snow to melt, but last night we had another 'winter advisory' (which just means… hold on to your boots, you’re gonna get blasted with a lot of snow, a lot of rain, a lot of wind, a lot of ice, or all of the above!) When I took my dog out this morning, I figured it'd be chilly, so I wore a light hoodie instead of 'layering-up'.

Now I know what they mean about wind chill factor – even tho the thermometer says 32 degrees, with the ‘wind-chill factor’ it’s negative 10! It kinda felt like skinny dippin in ice cubes. Not that I’ve ever done that, but if you’d like to have the experience, come on up and visit before spring – I think that should be somewhere between July 1 and July 6. Oh yeah… I have a lot more respect for ‘glaze’ now.

Dear Mom,
Today was a really pretty day even tho the temperature didn’t get above 35. A lot of the ice & snow melted, especially on the patio, and this evening when the sun went down, the little, harmless, melted snow/ice puddles turned back into ice.

When I took my dog out at about 7p.m. the harmless ice patch turned deadly! Graceful me slipped and fell; not backwards like a normal person – but rather forward.

Unfortunately, the concrete jumped up to stop my fall. Not only did I smash my glasses, but I gave myself one hell of a shiner. Blood started gushing from my face all over the patio, my coat and sweater underneath. I thought I just bloodied my nose, but
noooooooo! I couldn’t see because I broke my glasses and I couldn’t stop the blood, so I had to call your grandson to my rescue. He took me to the ER where I received 5 bright, shiny stitches in my right cheek. Yeah... that's gonna leave a mark. The color of dark plum eye shadow does not suit me.

Dear Mom,
I really thought the snow was basically finished for the year, especially after everything melted and flooded the basement. The water was pouring out of what I thought was a broken pipe in the wall. I even called your grandson to see if he knew where the ‘shut-off’ valve was located. He, once again came to my rescue. It turns out it wasn’t a broken pipe, but rather the accumulated, melted snow and ice. Water was even squirting out from under the door of the unfinished part of the basement. (That's a really good place to keep preserves and bad kids.) Anyway – we got about 1 ½ - 2 inches of snow last night and it’s still coming down.

Dear Mom,
Temperatures are in the low 40’s today; snow is almost all melted, but we’re supposed to have some snow flurries later in the week. Yippie skippie. This is one of the things I can’t get used to here in the north, besides the major depressing thought of being away from my husband and son-it’s freeking March and I still can’t start planting a garden.

Everyone in the south says everything is in full bloom...our peach tree is loaded again, the dog-wood is full, the flocks and daffodils are busting out all over. Even my potted plants that got ‘bit’ by the frost in Florida are starting to come back. Oh the green-green grass of home.

Dear Mom,
After having temperatures in the 90’s, we had a nasty storm go through last night, and had golf ball sized hail & winds strong enough to take down the huge oak tree in the side yard. It’s now blocking the road...entirely. I sit in the dark watching all the idiots speed toward the tree, then slam on their brakes. Some of ‘em don’t make the stop in time and hit the tree. I guess I should go out and warn 'em… but then again, in bad weather like this, they should be paying attention & they shouldn’t be speeding!

Kid Stuff

Dear Mom,
I am hosting a sleep-over for my your great-grand-daughter's 9th birthday. I hope the 3 or 4 invited girls can come – but I worry about my sanity. I mean, we all know how calm I am with kids – never loose my patience – never yell – never threaten - never swear – NOT.

Mom, I wish you were here to give me some ideas for little girls that does not involve little boys; besides making something with beads, eating popcorn, and staying up late. Help.

Dear Mom,
I had the kids help me clean yesterday. What a hoot. We all had a do-rag tied on our heads (had to look the part) and the kids helped me dust - then we had a ‘slumber’ party on the pull-out couch in the living room and watched t.v. till the wee hours of the night. (I think the kids made it to 9:30). I would not recommend trying to sleep with any one of these three youngins...they kick like mules. Needless to say, I ‘slumbered’ on the love seat.

Dear Mom,
I was looking through some papers after the kids helped me 'clean' and I found a note in your great-granddaughter's handwriting that said: "FOR SALE - JOYCE'S SON - $50" I guess she was mad at her daddy.

Dear Mom,
It’s a beautiful, sunny day and it’s not snowing. But, the temperature is still in the low teens and some of the left over snow has turned to ice. I recon I’ll stay inside again today, watch t.v. and drink my coffee, and drink my coffee, and drink my coffee.

Well, I just received a much more interesting offer from your great-granddaughter. She called and invited me to supper. She and her brother are making vegetable soup and that sounds like a lot more fun than watching t.v. and drinking my coffee.

I asked her what she had so far, and she said... 'a big empty pot.'

Dear Mom,
Today, I took something to your grandson just as his kids got home from school. Their dalmatian dog always gets excited when anyone comes in and he wags his tail like crazy. But, his tail is like a lethal weapon and it’s like being hit with a whip. Well, as your great-granddaughter was taking off her jacket, the dog ‘wagged’ her and she said..”Oooohh!! He hit me right in the nuts.” I was laughing too hard to explain.

Dear Mom,
I have my grandsons staying over tonight, and as they were getting ready for bed, the oldest grandson, (6), was putting on his jammies, but, his butt looked extremely wide. I thought he had his jammies or his underwear twisted, so I checked. He had on six pair of underwear. I asked him why and he said… ‘in case I wet to bed-or if I need ‘em later.'

Dear Mom,
Your great grandson, (4), is staying with me for a couple of days. He was admiring my ring with the green setting (he said something about the ‘Green Lantern’ or something like that.) I told him that when I go away forever, he can have that ring. I heard him telling someone else that… ‘Gramma said, I get that ring when she goes to Florida.’

911

Dear Mom,
Today is September 11 and I remember exactly what I was doing, as I'm sure most all other Americans do, on that horrible day in 2001. I was at work and one of the guys who worked in the Records Department came out and told me to come and take a look at his little t.v. Something was happening. Something big. Something awful. I thought he was joking. But, we watched his t.v. as the first World Trade Center tower burned from the impact of a fully-fueled jet.

I called your son-in-law at work and told him to go to the break room and look at the t.v. It didn't matter what station, the news was on every channel. Then we watched as another jet slammed into the second tower. It was so surreal.

Then news of the pentagon being slammed by yet another jet filled the chilling broadcast air. And still another one in Shanksville, PA. All this devastation in less than 4 hours!

I remember that for the next week or so there was absolutely NO air travel. The skies were eerily quiet, even Tampa International Airport was quiet. People were actually nicer to one another. Driving down the main highway was different. Nobody seemed to want to kill the other drivers. They were much more polite and concerned for themselves and their fellow commuters.

Mom, I gotta wonder what we, as a nation, did to these people to make them hate us so much. How can we have peace with another race or culture of crazy fools who just want to kill you?

Dear Mom,
So, what do you think? CNN is reporting the bombing in Boston at yesterday’s marathon as an ‘unsophisticated bomb’ – meaning it wasn’t a foreign terrorist attack. But, how can it not be classified as a terrorist attack? A terrorist doesn’t have to be foreign. Timothy McVeigh and Terry Nichols (Oklahoma-1995) were NOT foreign… and neither was Eric Rudolph (Georgia Olympics 2005). The definition of a terrorist attack is…’the calculated use of violence (or the threat of violence) against civilians in order to attain goals that are political or religious or ideological in nature; this is done through intimidation or coercion or instilling fear’

To not offend anyone, our President does not call the bombing in Boston a “terrorist attack.” Well, I think any threat to our safety and well being that leaves us afraid and/or intimidated is a TERRORIST ATTACK. By the way, Mom... I don't think you'd like our President very much.

Great Grand Child

Dear Mom,
Today, August 21 - your granddaughter and her boyfriend became parents to a beautiful little girl. She was 8 lb. 1 oz. and 20” long. I’m sure you're looking down and smiling from ear to ear. Not only at your beautiful new great-grand daughter, but also because she was born on your oldest grand daughter’s birthday.

To the new parents: … this little bundle will change your life. Things you’d never thought of before – are gonna worry the hell outta ya. Everything she does, says, smells, or sees is gonna be totally awesome.

To the new grand-parents: Welcome to Grandparent-hood! You’re gonna love it!!! Be sure to tell her all the stories of her mom and don’t leave out anything - good or bad. Load her up with sugar then take her home.

To the first time aunt: … You’re an auntie!!! How lucky are you! Teach your new niece all the things that annoy your sister and don’t forget that now – YOU can do the things to your niece that your sister used to do to you and tell her… “Pay backs are hell.”

Tags

Family, Funny Experience, Love, Mom, Mother, Raising Kids

Meet the author

author avatar Quoiky
Joyce, (a.k.a. Quoiky) is a 'seasoned' writer {only in the sense of age} She is a wife, mother, grandmother & usually writes about real life & funny experiences, but also enjoys writing fiction.

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Comments

author avatar Etc.
13th Aug 2014 (#)

I see I'm not the only one who 'talks' to my mother long after she's gone. In fact, I can read her mind. I know, more often than not, just what she would say. She has become my conscience.

I found your letters poignant, and very special.

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