Losing Faith

Willa By Willa, 9th Jul 2010 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Diaries

I really don't know how much longer me and my 'fiance' Lee, are going to last.

Here's my situation:

Currently I am living with my fiance because my own mum kicked me out the house. Now I wasn't bothered at the time, because when I was a child she was abusive. So yeah, I was more than happy to leave.
However, since coming here, I've lost my job, my friends, even my pet. And Lee thinks I'm overreacting when I say I'm becoming depressed. He thinks I'm just bored. Well duh, doesn't extreme boredom sometimes lead to depression? I sit inside four walls daily with nothing new to do. I live here for free because I don't have a job. I'm selling anything of mine off on ebay just to make a little bit of money to give his mum because I know she desperately needs the money.

What happened last night:

Last night I'd mentioned to Lee that I wanted to go back 'home'. That didn't go down too well. He told me that this would ruin us. That I would break his heart, that he would lose his job and stay in his room for weeks on end.
Then he started to get angry. He told me that I was 'a stupid little bitch'. Now usually I wouldn't care about someone saying this. But considering that was one of the favorite names my mum liked to call me, it hurt even more when the one who was supposed to really love me could say this to my face and mean it. He told me that this was the adult world and I needed to learn to grow up. It's not all bells and whistles.
Look, I know I'm immature, but I really did not have to have that said to my face by him. I'm a happy hyper person, so maybe that is being immature, but it's the way I am. Apparently that's who he fell in love with. So what's changed?


Boyfriend, Bully, Fiance, Hate, Love, Move Out, Tears, Upset

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author avatar Willa
A full time mother who loves her job.

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author avatar Claerwyn Anwylaeth
9th Jul 2010 (#)

Did you explain to Lee clearly your reasons for wanting to go back home? Perhaps he misunderstood you and thought that it meant you didn't want you guys to be together. He seems to have reacted badly, but that name is obviously off limits for you. He also sounds kinda frustrated, but I think he still cares for you a lot. But hey, people and relationships change. I hope for your sake that the decisions that are made are for the best. Sounds to me like you're craving independence. Take care xo.

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author avatar RSyed
9th Jul 2010 (#)

Be rational and responsible, you may then still face hardships, but you will be able to wade it out.

Hope for the best for you two..!

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author avatar Retired
9th Jul 2010 (#)

This is a very hard situation, but follow your instincts with this one!

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author avatar A friend
9th Jul 2010 (#)

I know you guys, especially lee.. trust me sam he loves you so much, we were talking about this very thing this morning, he hates himself for what happened and he didnt mean to upset you or offend you, i know its not really an excuse but he is really stressed with work and hes getting busier each day, he hates not being around you, he loves you alot, tells me all the time, he doesnt want you to move out because yes it will break his heart, hes a big softie on the inside :P i'll let you in on something, he plans for you two to move into your own place before september! Just remember he does really love you.. but he also thinks that you love him less and less each day.. he is today convinced that you hate him, he is a good guy.. he tells me alot.. never shuts up about you :L he did prepose and for him that took alot but he would never admit it.. he loves you that much deary :)

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author avatar drelayaraja
10th Jul 2010 (#)

very difficult situation. Nice share.

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