Mammogram and a Glass of Sauvignon Blanc

Val Mills By Val Mills, 24th Jun 2010 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Personal Experiences

Mammograms are a necessary evil in a women's life. Sauvignon Blanc can have a part to play in the post mammogram visit.

The two yearly mammogram visit

I have no idea what the situation is in other countries, but here in New Zealand women over 50 are encouraged to have free mammograms every two years. Well, admittedly there's not much we can get for free, but I do wonder if other health checks made free may be slightly more popular.

No one in their right mind would pay for a mammogram, unless they had genuine concerns about their health. Health officials have obviously got their marketing right, to be able to persuade a nation of aging women to swarm through their doors for this check every two years. After all, it takes nearly two years to wipe the pain of the visit from your memory. That leaves just enough time to brace yourself for the next trip.

Who in their right mind wants to stand there in a humiliating half naked state, upper half covered by a flimsy gown, to be poked and prodded in order to make everything fit, and to have that particularly tender part of their body squashed between two cold metal plates to an unbelievably thin state.

This must surely be the invention of a vindictive man who was unhappy about his deal in life. How would men feel if their most intimate and tender parts were squashed to such schnitzel like portions. How would men feel stretching their arm out across a machine and holding their breath, hoping the pictures would come out all right.

Yes, it's not just the physical pain, but the emotional pain as well. Waiting in the dressing room, still not allowed to dress, waiting to hear the photos have turned out okay, is as bad as the process itself. You can't help wondering what is taking so long. Maybe that part of your body is just not of the photogenic type and you'll have to be be prodded and squashed all over again.

Then there's the long wait for the results to come through. It can take up to two weeks, they say. But what if your letter arrives earlier, does that mean there is something wrong? Or, why is it taking two weeks when in the past the letter bearing good news has arrived in five days?

There's only one possible way to overcome all this pain - the emotional pain of preparing for the visit, the physical pain after the deed is done and the pain of waiting for the results in the mail. Put your feet up and pour another glass of sauvignon blanc, the New Zealand variety of course. The pain temporarily disappears, the memory is put to one side for awhile and the world seems a much kinder place.

If one must be a woman and suffer such indignities as mammograms, surely a glass of wine should be prescribed as a post treatment pain killer. Then we'd have something to look forward to.


Mammogram, Sauvignon Blanc, Wine, Women, Womens Health

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author avatar Val Mills
Self-published writer, coffee drinker, enjoying life. Also found at and

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author avatar Retired
26th Jun 2010 (#)

Such an ordeal derserves a lot more than just the one glass of Sauvignon Val. Have the next one on me.

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author avatar Val Mills
27th Jun 2010 (#)

I wasn't going to confess to more than one, Rask.

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author avatar chrysolite
29th Jun 2010 (#)

Exactly! Couldn't agree more. I was just 17 when my mum and I got "an invitation for a mammogram". We went, just this once. Then my mother read that mammograms can actually CAUSE cancer and from then on we never went again. Neither of us has any cancer, living a healthy diet will avoid this. Here in Spain my husband and I get a yearly invitation for a colon scan for free. We don't even have a health insurance here! My opinion: Just business. An apple a day ... 7 almonds a day ... keep cancer and doctors away. It's as simple as that! Thanks again for the great article!

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author avatar johnnydod
16th Mar 2013 (#)

Cheers Val I will join you after now I have had my coronary angioplasty With a tube poking up through my groin all my inhibitions went right through the window. lol (And it was a female doctor

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