Maps and Chipper - The Great(ish) Escape, part 4

David Gubbins By David Gubbins, 11th Dec 2011 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/2wl27sp4/
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Short Stories

Maps and Chipper - The Great(ish) Escape, part 4, The encounter at the Farmhouse

Maps and Chipper - The Great(ish) Escape, part 4

Maps and Chipper - The Great(ish) Escape, part 4

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

High in the sky, a rather large biplane was flying south. Following a remarkable flashing red light on an insignificant box. Maps and chipper had had little time to contemplate the seriousness of their situation. Up front Chipper steered the aeroplane with precision, taking excellent instruction from Maps in the rear seat. The aeroplane jostled about in the rising and descending air currents that danced invisibly over the southern hills and valleys. Chipper found he whole experience delightful, Maps was not so enamoured as he had his head buried in the cockpit watching the flashing red lights.

Bardufloss was exhausted, he had made good headway that day. The strap of the fishing bag dug painfully into his shoulders, despite his continuously changing the bag from one to the other. In the late afternoon he was overjoyed to stumble across an old farmhouse. Pushing the gate to one side he crept as carefully and as silently as he could on to the short gravelled drive.

“Good afternoon, you look exhausted!”, a female voice greeted him.

Charles had commandeered a motor vehicle in which he could chase the airborne Maps and Chipper. When chipper brought the aeroplane in to land and refuel, Charles was there to meet them.

“Well be damned quick about it!”, he scolded Maps, annoyed that the aeroplane was incapable of perpetual flight without fuel.

Maps and Chipper refuelled as quickly as they could, but having to complete the operation from large Jerry cans hauled to the top wing and deposited in the fuel tank that sat between the two upper wings, was a strenuous and tiring process. Charles did his best to encourage them.

“Can’t you two loafers do any better than that?”, he enquired.

“How much fuel does that contraption need?”, he asked.

“He’ll be getting away if you don’t hurry up”, he pleased.

“OH SHUT UP!!!!!”, Chipper retorted loudly.

Charles was stopped for a second…in his tracks. He was just about to tear an absolute strip of the bandaged and labouring young flyer, when a Policeman arrived on the scene.

“Who said there is never a Policeman about when you need one!”, whispered Maps to Chipper.

The Policeman took Charles to one side and informed him that a Stranger had been spotted in a nearby village.

The Farmer’s wife was only slightly miffed at the apparent silence of her unexpected guest. Nevertheless she had the common decency to offer the lost fisherman a nice cup of tea. Bardufloss put his pack down on the carpeted floor and sat on the extremely comfortable settee. A cup of tea was conjured up and polite conversation was attempted.

In his briefing, Bardufolss had undergone extremely detailed instruction on how to talk about the weather with a stranger. He considered himself to be almost expert in that excellent English tradition of talking about everything but that that actually mattered. To find that all of his instruction was indeed not only useful but positively beneficial humoured him somewhat. He became quite enraptured with the vocal battle in the Farmer’s wife’s front room. Tea soon became an offer of Rabbit Stew, Rabbit stew soon became an offer of a small beer, Bardufloss had quite forgotten his predicament by the time night fell.

Charles had sent maps and Chipper off for another sortie. The red light was indicating a direction that didn’t quite make sense. His instructions to Chipper sent the aeroplane in numerous circles. Looking down Chipper noticed the farmhouse.

“Could he be in that farmhouse?”, Chipper shouted.

“It is very possible”, Maps replied.

Chipper in the fading light found it very difficult to find a spot to land, however he successfully put the aircraft down in a field.

“What do we do now?”, Maps enquired.

“I have absolutely no idea!”, Chipper responded helpfully.

Charles however had everything summed up in his own mind. He had seen the Aeroplane land, heard the reports of strangers in the village, and had cleverly gathered the local constabulary and were at that moment marching on the farmhouse.

“We’ll catch him easily here, he has made a terrible mistake, I will be glad to be resting at home with the wife this evening”, Charles thought to himself as he stealthily approached the Farmhouse.

The farmer’s wife returned with yet another cup of tea, bent on offering her guest a comfortable bed for the night.

“Now where the hell did he go?”, she muttered, spying the empty chair that had only moments before held her guests tired behind.

Bardufloss was hauling the heavy fishing bag towards yet another wooded area, he had heard the aeroplane landing and had felt that it was time to leave. There would be no rest for him that night, he simply had to make the coast.

Charles knocked politely on the door of the farmhouse. Hidden in the undergrowth were the local constabulary, nervous and excited to a man.

Charles engaged the farmer’s wife in conversation for a few moments before he led her away from the door to a place of apparent safety. Immediately she was out-of-the-way the Constabulary struck. racing into the house, they immediately set about searching the premises. Furniture was over turned, doors were smashed from their hinges, windows were broken in the melee that accompanied the Policemen. Shouts and screams were heard from inside the house as the Policemen ineptly turned the house upside down.

“How many times do I have to tell you, that man left half an hour ago”, the farmer’s wife pleaded.

The commotion was only slightly interrupted by the approach of the farmer, pitch fork in hand, and with a lovely looking Sheep Dog by his side. He raced into the house and with a hefty swish of his pitch fork emptied the house of the vandalous Policemen. He stood by the door, his dog beside him still with a large amount of Police Uniform in his mouth, calling to Charles.

“And I suppose you find this funny!”, he asked Charles. ”There’s a bloody great Aeroplane thing in my field, and look at the state of my house!”

Charles tried to explain the situation, but to no avail, he and the local constabulary were soon running for safety, chased by the pitch fork wielding Farmer and his lovely looking Sheep Dog.

At the gate to the Farm, Charles met with Maps and Chipper. The three listened intently as the Policeman explained.

“There was nobody in there, Sir”.

Tags

Bardufloss, Bizarre, Comedy, Cricket Rules, Farce, Flight, Flying, Humour, Maps And Chipper, Military Intelligence, Rabbit, Rfc, Sheep Dogs, The Secret Aeroplane, Wacky, World War 1, World War I

Meet the author

author avatar David Gubbins
The challenge is to write an episode, based on a loose story line. The writing must take no more than 30 Minutes and be as spontaneous as possible. The idea is to see where it takes you.

The time limit can lead to posts of dubious quality, however...(more)

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