My Nature

LOVERME By LOVERME, 9th Oct 2015 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/2dalhp0v/
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Poetry

Nature is lovely pure serene and unselfish looks after animals and plants man and woman selflessly LOVE NATURE will thee

Nature is lovely

And this is nature

Water below
Sun and clouds above
have a swim
water is cold
do not drown
be bold

to nature I am sold
now I too am getting autumnuously old
so, me behold

Greenery in winter is Christmas tree
ever green
life ought to be
you are lovely
life serene
and
love of nature be supreme
from there we came
when shall we then there go

be it your heaven
and
my here beautiful down below
Earth we all know
Gods alone wield command in heaven

meet me again at sunrise
sharp seven I
I will be washing up for you
come along with flowers fresh and new
I love nature only you

man has also provided
a tree bench from you
Use natural resources
like sun and water
avoid toilet paper
sanitation with water
is always better

Ask any doctor.

Tags

Natural, Natural Beauty, Natural Beauty Tips, Natural Curatives, Natural Cures, Natural Healing, Natural Remedies, Natural Remedy, Natural Resources, Natural Way, Nature, Night

Meet the author

author avatar LOVERME
The one and only LOVERME
Thanks friends for reading me,
its natural VIRGINOUS poetry
that comes my way

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Comments

author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
9th Oct 2015 (#)

Sometimes, water is just too cold, so toilet paper comes handy. But water cleanses better and also quenches our thirst.

We are part of nature and into mother nature we find solace later - siva

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author avatar LOVERME
9th Oct 2015 (#)

hahahahaaa
pragmatic use warm water then

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author avatar brendamarie
9th Oct 2015 (#)

I love it be one with nature

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author avatar LOVERME
10th Oct 2015 (#)

okay thanx again

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author avatar Fern Mc Costigan
9th Oct 2015 (#)

Awesome poem!

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author avatar LOVERME
10th Oct 2015 (#)

tnx

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author avatar Judy Ellen
10th Oct 2015 (#)

Lovely and very descriptive poem! Your poetry always takes me to a better place! I have always dreamed of living in the country so that I could enjoy more of nature but now I live in the city. Although I see nature all around me I still miss the peace and quiet of the country!

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author avatar LOVERME
10th Oct 2015 (#)

its a pleasure Judy to see you walk thru my page

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author avatar Retired
10th Oct 2015 (#)

Great poem. Thanks for sharing!

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author avatar LOVERME
11th Oct 2015 (#)

thanks jessy

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author avatar Retired
11th Oct 2015 (#)

In what sense is this a poem?

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author avatar LOVERME
11th Oct 2015 (#)

do re read
,,,as smaller poems
...as comments \...if it still does not make sense
then say
...its non sense and ask the mod who know me
what is poetry???

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author avatar Retired
12th Oct 2015 (#)

I simply would never have thought that the words "avoid toilet paper" would appear in a serious poem!

A poem needs structure - that applies just as much to "free verse" as to more formal poems. Every word should be there for a purpose - I fail to see why many of the words in this piece are there.

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author avatar LOVERME
12th Oct 2015 (#)

kindly help edit sir

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author avatar Retired
12th Oct 2015 (#)

It would be difficult to know where to start! First of all you need to know what it is that the poem is trying to say - establish at the outset what your message is and stick with it.

I understand that the poem is written from the viewpoint of a tree in Autumn, but that makes some of the lines awkward in terms of syntax - how does "man has also provided / a tree bench from you" work in that case?

I also appreciate that you are trying to write poems in a language that is not your first - this is a very difficult thing to do, because poetry exploits the subtleties of language that even many of its natives cannot master.

I am not suggesting that you rewrite this - merely that you give greater thought to future poems. Somebody once said that a poem is never finished, only abandoned - but it should not be abandoned until you have made it as good as you can get it!

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author avatar LOVERME
13th Oct 2015 (#)

'''''man has also provided
a tree bench from you ....''

..In the picture a bench made out of a tree (wood i suppose) was also show indicating use of a natural resource
perhaps

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author avatar LOVERME
13th Oct 2015 (#)

..In the picture a bench made out of a tree (wood i suppose) was also shown indicating use of a ....
'''shown....'''
typo lest you get angry again

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author avatar LOVERME
13th Oct 2015 (#)

I appreciate your message..
I wonder who lead you in?
Try composing a poem instead of promoting ancients...
Also in poetry Grammar is not necessary .And English is my only language
Thanks
Criticism is okay if you can offer edit ..and suitable advice also..Condemnation .''' just only,'' comes to many .here It's not as much poetry as is the need of Advts by this site-men
else simply read and move on
Amen
Kindness
this poem was on a projected picture in some competition how can you or anyone else understand You are a good Librarian O man

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author avatar Retired
13th Oct 2015 (#)

"In poetry grammar is not necessary" - who spun you that yarn?

Poetry is about language and using it to convey meaning and feeling. You don't do this if you introduce obscurity by ignoring the rules of grammar.

I am amazed when you say that English is your only language, because it doesn't read that way.

To be able to write good poetry you need to be in full command of the language - can you honrestly say that you are?

I do not write poetry, but I have many years experience of reading and appreciating it. I don't write it because I know precisely how difficult it is to do it well.

My advice to you would be to start looking at more formal forms of poetry and seeing if you can make them work for you. It is much easier to do this than to pretend that no rules apply - poetry needs structure, and if you reject the already available structures you need to build your own.

It is a myth that "free verse" is easier than "unfree verse". It may be easier to throw down some words and pretend that they are poems, but to make them good poems is far from easy.

If you would like me to analyse one of your poems in detail, and point out where it could be improved, then I will do so.

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author avatar LOVERME
13th Oct 2015 (#)

YES please
NO NOT TOMORROW

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author avatar LOVERME
13th Oct 2015 (#)

No, not tomorrow

Who knows about a tomorrow?
I only know of today
come love me now
without any sorrow
why my precious time
you want to borrow
tonight is all I can promise today
who knows whether the sunrise
will come my way
so tonight only I can promise
the whole night long I will stay

who knows about tomorrow?
we may not live that day
why doubt me of my love I pray
'twill be another day

I shall come again tomorrow
but tonight my love,
come let us play
why ask of me a tomorrow
it may not come my way

but I promise 'twill be another day
I will come again
if the morning sun wakes me
alas not in vain

why ask me of a tomorrow
of which I
well no one can ever say
come now my loved one
let's enjoy this tonight
our usual way

why ask me of a tomorrow
Of which I cannot promise today


THIS IS BASED ON A FAMOUS YOU TUBE SONG

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author avatar Retired
13th Oct 2015 (#)

OK - read it aloud. Does it flow, or do you get stuck with awkward syllables that should not be there?

Think also about the words and their meaning - for example, why do you need "of" repeated in the final couplet?

I'll give this more thought and send you a new version via a direct message.

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author avatar LOVERME
13th Oct 2015 (#)

ok

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author avatar LOVERME
13th Oct 2015 (#)

thanx john ...
creativity is abs individual... rewriting any one can do..
how i wish your poem new... same title can be posted by you..
twill do
..all will be happy here is john ready to teach ..
i am only learning
..only 1500 posted here
do pick up ..
as and when you become an adept poet..
unlike me my dear
...your message is quite helpful and clear..
i post ur version here ...
you may post it on our page may be ur
FIRST POEM
..ALL MUST LOVE YOU AS AN UPCOMING POET...
we have been too long on wiki
..you must replace as many




No, not tomorrow

Who knows about tomorrow?
I only know today
Come love me now – no sorrow
This is the time for play


We have the night before us
I promise I can stay
We’ll greet the sun in chorus
Before I go away



I‘ll come again and hold you
'twill be another day
But ere these arms enfold you
You know I must away



Who knows about tomorrow?
we may not live that long!
But if there’s time to borrow
We’ll sing a brand new song!

BY JOHN WELFORD GOOD CRITIC AND ADVISOR...
MAY MORE SEEK HIS HELP AND MAY GOD ALSO HIM BLESS
All the Best John and thanks I am so indebted

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