My Turn

Winsome75 By Winsome75, 25th Aug 2011 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Personal Experiences

With the pondering of life's directions it's interesting to take stock of how our life events have played out before and did we take time to notice?

My Turn

As a young man I watched my grandfather die in a hospital of lung cancer or consumption or whatever was the proper explanation at the time. He had been an Old World type of man, the head of his family and proud of his ways and his heritage. Dignity was important to him as well and he did not care for the hospital’s need for tubes running in and out of him portraying him as less than he envisioned he was. As time passed crowds of family gathered in his room to “be with him” and share his last time with them. He was aware of his destiny and wanted to pass over the eternal line with as much poise and courage as he could muster. And after a relatively short period of suffering uncomfortably he did do that. My dad, his son, wished for the end to be swift and merciful so as not to create unpleasantness for both my grandfather and the family.

I was, as I said, present and certainly mourned his passing, as he and I were close, especially in his last years. But, also as I said I was a young man and never did it cross my mind that one-day, for sure, my turn to be in the hospital bed would come to me just like my grandfather. Years passed and my life flowed along with the usual trials and tribulations, ups and downs, and goods and bads. Then, in October of 1991 my father was told he was terminal with skin cancer and had six months to live. Of course, the surgery, treatments, and the like were begun but the end that is dedicated to all of us was not to be denied and my dad found his turn in the hospital bed with the lost dignity, pain and suffering, loss of reality, and death. The difference being that my dad suffered much more than my grandfather and thus the inescapable trauma of watching such a devastating saga unfold before me was unforgettable! It made me think that yes, time will demand that I too come to my turn of enduring the inevitable. Recently, with in the same week I learned that a high school sweetheart and classmate had died of breast cancer and that an old and dear friend was diagnosed with colon cancer. Thus, bringing the dark reality into very clear focus that as I speed down the road of my life and through the tunnel of time I am indeed rushing to embrace “my turn”.

Wondering when will “it” get me and what will my life-ending enemy be? And can I forestall the onslaught by changing my lifestyle habits, or go to the doctor more, or what? Actually, passing away unexpectedly in my sleep would be the only way to cheat the grim reaper out of “my turn”.

Tags

Emotions, Experience, Final Chapter

Meet the author

author avatar Winsome75
A 60 year old guy with interesting thoughts on my journey.

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Comments

author avatar Steve Kinsman
25th Aug 2011 (#)

We have all pondered tghese possibilities, and ypou put it to words so very well. Thanks for a great share Winsome75.

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author avatar Val Mills
26th Aug 2011 (#)

I'm reading tis a week after my huband turned 70, when we had a discussion about what the next ten years would bring. As you get older ife is no longer forever.

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author avatar Denise O
26th Aug 2011 (#)

This is well written, you had me at each turn. My husband just turned 60 and he too has been pondering this. I hope I go out just as my Nana did. She has always been ready to go meet her maker and she also went in her sleep, with loved ones around. Nana never pondered it in the least, throughout her 100 years here on earth. Maybe that is the key, just live every day. Nice read. Thank you for sharing.:)

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author avatar Winsome75
26th Aug 2011 (#)

Thank you Denise and Steve, and Val for your kind and positive comments.

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author avatar Fadaway
8th Sep 2011 (#)

then one step further....you are the only one left in your family...............well written

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