My writing.

GV Rama Rao By GV Rama Rao, 3rd Feb 2014 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/35dgl-2m/
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Biography & Autobiography

My wife's death has put an end to my writing. I want to restart it and seek the help of my writer friends at wikinut.

My writing.

After my wife’s death in November 2012, it took me long to come out of mourning. Feeling a terrible loneliness, I lost interest in various things including things dear to me. The first causality of this malaise was my writing. Prior to her death, I was a writeaholic writing 3K words a day. I stopped writing and engaged myself in doing a most difficult task: doing nothing. My grey cells stopped functioning. Apart from reading the daily newspaper, I had not spent any time on intellectual activity. Although I have access to a well stocked library, I did not feel like reading any book. Music which used to enthrall me earlier now sounded like cacophony.

I made several attempts resume my writing but found no inclination to write. Even when I sat determined to write, I found no subject worth writing. My fingers, which used to dance on the keyboard earlier, refused to budge. Some unknown force held them from moving. My wife was my muse, my fan, my admirer and motivator all rolled into one. She used to exhort me to write, read the first copy I produced and offer a critique. She suggested modifications and alterations where needed, and I always appreciated her recommendations. Now, without her support the writer in me is as good as dead.

I used to write mostly humor for I found humor even in poignant situations. After my wife's death, I had hardly laughed and found it difficult even to smile. My friends pointed out the change in my demeanor and asked me to regain my composure and wit. No matter what I tried, I looked like a wimpy old man with a grumpy look. Writing humor seemed a task well beyond me.

I made several attempts move on in life, but every time I tried I met with the same result. To keep dementia and Alzheimer’s disease far away, I engaged myself in doing some brain teasers and Sudoku regularly. Apart from posing some riddles to my grandchildren and helping them with their homework, I had not taken any interest in academic or literary activities. Interacting with grandchildren provided a welcome relief and an immense pleasure but no stimulus to the grey cells. This was so evident that one of my grandsons, on the occasion of Grandparents day, had answered a question as to what he would give as a present to his grandparent- a wife.

What’s the relationship between a wife and writing? I often ponder over the issue. Most of the writers were more attached to whiskey and less to their wives. I’ve no definitive information about the influence of wives on the writers, but I think a supportive wife is essential for a writer to press on with his work undisturbed. An assertive or demanding wife seeking the attention of her husband and his time, probably, does not help an aspiring writer. Such a wife will only be like a sea anchor and slow him.

Doing nothing is a challenging task and obviously an unprofitable proposition, but it is a popular subject for study and generous rewards. I learned that some people are actively researching the art and craft of doing nothing. I was surprised to read that engineers in MIT had done considerable research and invented a complex system to do nothing. The machine, built at considerable expense, using state of the art technology starts when switched on, carries out a series of operations with the sole purpose finally to switch itself off. The operations trigger a chain reaction, each designed to produce no effect except to facilitate the process of switching it off. The machine, unlike computers, has no way of restarting it. I think my situation is similar to the machine. I start to write only to delete whatever is written. I am stuck in a closed loop which starts to write only to return to the starting point on a blank page.

The one and only one way to improve writing is to keep writing. If I get stuck at each attempt, there is hardly any chance of improving my writing. Since I’m stuck in this groove, I am now appealing to all my writer friends at wikinut to help restart my writing. Is there any jump start method? Any suggestions to help me progress in my writing are welcome.

Wikinut is the best place to write and showcase your writing skills.

Tags

Alzheimer Disease, Appeal, Dementia, Grandchildren, Gray Cells, Humor, Jump-Start, Loneliness, Malaise, Motivation, Muse, Poignant Stories, Relationship, Research, Success In Life, Suggestions, Wife, Words, Writing

Meet the author

author avatar GV Rama Rao
I am a retired naval officer and a published author with three books to my credit. I am a winner of nanowrimo competition for 2008,9, &10. I like humor best..

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Comments

author avatar cnwriter..carolina
4th Feb 2014 (#)

dear GV..I am sorry to hear of what you have gone through but am sure it has made you stronger...your creativity is always an inner process and when you listen with joy in your heart the words come through and you will write again..in a splendid way I am sure...much light to you...

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author avatar GV Rama Rao
4th Feb 2014 (#)

My dear crwriter,
Many thanks for your comment and support. I hope I find the old spirit or spark again.

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author avatar Phyl Campbell
4th Feb 2014 (#)

I find that reviewing books and short works helps me write when my creativity for original work is low. But GV you have so much to say all the time. I hope you will. Good luck!!

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author avatar GV Rama Rao
4th Feb 2014 (#)

My dear Phyl,
Many thanks for your comment. I'll try and post a page regularly from now on. Thanks for your support.

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
4th Feb 2014 (#)

Happy to see you again, dear GVR. I will read your posts and offer comments. I am sure you will regain your interest in writing with the support of Wikinut family - siva

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author avatar GV Rama Rao
4th Feb 2014 (#)

My dear Siva,
Many thanks for your support. I am counting on support from people like you.

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author avatar M G Singh
4th Feb 2014 (#)

GV, makes sad reading, but I hope you get over it and write as earlier

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author avatar GV Rama Rao
4th Feb 2014 (#)

My dear Madan,
Many thanks for your support. I hope to post a page every day.

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author avatar Delicia Powers
4th Feb 2014 (#)

I began writing to help me break through a wall of grief...I am so glad you are back at the keyboard... I understand the feelings you have shared with us and the depth from which they come...writing helps...GV it is good to see you publishing again ...

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author avatar GV Rama Rao
4th Feb 2014 (#)

My dear Delicia Powers,
Many thanks for your comment and support. I'll follow your example.

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author avatar Fern Mc Costigan
4th Feb 2014 (#)

Sorry for your loss my dear friend, keep writing as your pieces are very interesting . You wife up in heave will be rading each one of your posts, God Bless you!

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author avatar GV Rama Rao
5th Feb 2014 (#)

My dear Fern Mc Costigan,
Thanks for your comment and support.

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author avatar Buzz
6th Feb 2014 (#)

Let her go, GV. Time to move on. Welcome back from hibernation! Let's drink to that.:)

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author avatar GV Rama Rao
19th Feb 2014 (#)

My dear Buzz,
Thanks for your advice. I'll get going.

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author avatar MarilynDavisatTIERS
18th Feb 2014 (#)

Good morning, GV. I am sorry for your loss. We all process our grief differently. Your loving tribute to your muse, wife, editor and motivator was a heartwarming read. I am reminded of what I was told when my father passed. He was my greatest supporter, and I was uncertain if I could continue on with an important part of my professional life without his encouraging words. Hearing that he would be disappointed and disturbed if I shut down over his death; how that would negate all he had ever tried to help me with in life seemed offensive when I first heard it. The following day, after some reflection, I found a new resolve to carry on, knowing that is what my father would have me do. I continued in the recovery business for more than 20 years after his passing. That I know would have pleased him. I hope I am not presumptuous, but I believe writing again would please your wife. ~Marilyn

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author avatar GV Rama Rao
19th Feb 2014 (#)

My dear Marilyn,
Many thanks for your support and advice. I should resume it soon.

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author avatar Songbird B
5th Mar 2014 (#)

Hello my friend..
I was so very sorry to hear that your wife had passed..You shared so much of your life on these pages and about your dear lady's struggle, and I can really understand how difficult it must seem to start that creative flow once more. I agree with Marilyn, this is not what your dear wife would have wanted. It takes time dear GV Rama, but you have already made a start by speaking to us all on here through your work.. The day will come when your fingers will itch to be placed on the keyboard and your words will flow easily once more..
Grief dulls us and takes away all incentive, but given time, a form of normality does return... You are in my thoughts...\0/x

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author avatar GV Rama Rao
5th Mar 2014 (#)

My dear Songbird B,
Many thanks for your encouraging words. Believe you me I'm trying to get back to writing, but somehow the process is just not starting. I promise you I'll succeed in this battle.

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author avatar Songbird B
9th Mar 2014 (#)

You are a natural and gifted writer Rama, and it will return my friend..I have such faith in you as have all your writing friends on here. Give it time..Hugs to your heart Rama..\0/x

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author avatar GV Rama Rao
9th Mar 2014 (#)

Many thanks for your encouraging comments. I'll try my best to come up to your expectations.

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author avatar Retired
9th Mar 2014 (#)

You only have to begin with a simple adage, 'A burden shared is a burden halved' to get your inspiration for continuing to write. I'm 71 years old, and I still have no idea what it's like to be at your stage in life. Please...continue to share.

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author avatar GV Rama Rao
10th Mar 2014 (#)

My dear R Jewell,
Many thanks for your support and encouragement.

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author avatar Kingwell
9th Mar 2014 (#)

Hi GV, I am very sorry to hear of your troubles. You are an excellent writer however, and I hope that you will continue working here.

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author avatar GV Rama Rao
10th Mar 2014 (#)

My dear Kingwell,
Many thanks for your kind words.

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author avatar InduKr
14th Apr 2014 (#)

Sir I know nobody can feel the pain you are going through.I read some of your articles you are wonderful writer and it's your writing that can heal your wounds. It will be my privilege to read articles of veteran like you.

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author avatar GV Rama Rao
14th Apr 2014 (#)

My dear Indukr,
Many thanks for your support. It's these comments I hope will reactivate my writing.

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author avatar Nancy Czerwinski
9th Oct 2014 (#)

GV, this was such a heartfelt personal story of your life. My heart goes out to you. I hope with time you have found an inner strength. Writing from your heart is a gift to all of us. Thank you for sharing your feelings. Blessings to you.

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author avatar GV Rama Rao
9th Oct 2014 (#)

My dear NANCY,
Thanks for your visit and comment. I'm overwhelmed.

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author avatar peachpurple
1st Jul 2015 (#)

Very sorry about your wife passing. Everyone will ceased in action at a crucial point in their lufe when someone dear left him. But remember that your wife would be terrible sad tosee you behave this way when she is up there. She is looking over you everyday, she is in your heart, she travels with you spiritually. Your world is not over yet and she would be disappointed if you stop writing, right? Write for her, keep the passion going. Best of luck

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author avatar GV Rama Rao
1st Jul 2015 (#)

My dear peachpurple,
Welcome to my pages. Thanks for your support and advice.

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