Negativity In This World Needs To Stop

Empress By Empress, 14th Mar 2014 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Columns & Opinions

I'm so tired of seeing useless negativity everywhere I look. It's time to find a reason to smile. Time to let the new and fresh life of Spring take hold and let go of any useless and ridiculous ideals of negative, feel sorry for yourself feelings.

A New Spring

Spring....such a beautiful time of year isn't it? Even when the snow hasn't gone away yet and it's still kind of cold, it's like something clicks in the air, everything changes and life, and everything we see in it seems to twinkle and shine with new hope and life. I love this time of year. When the hibernation of life wakes up and I can finally feel the flow of warmth spread through my veins once again. For me, this spring marks a huge milestone in my life. A year ago it was that my entire life seemed to snap into a whirlwind of nightmares and pain. Spring was actually not a good time of year for me last year at all. Although I wrote a great deal about some of the things going on in my life at the time, I did keep a huge portion to myself. And I may, or may not at some point finally release those demons of mine and let it all out. But for now I'll stick to what has already been established and leave it at that. And the point being that spring last year for me was hell, I mean, it's not everyday that someone is forced to live under the same roof with the man that broke her nose and beat her down for ten years. And after having been rid of him, it seemed like an inevitable fate that I would once again feel the oppression of his imaginary chains and forever be held to the hell of his undoing. But that was a year ago, and it is no longer that way. And even when I was going through that inner hell, I still woke up everyday with a smile on my face and hope for a better day and an even better tomorrow. I tried my best not to be miserable and to find as much positive as I could in each dark and dire situation. I still took the time to reach out and help others and give myself to them in any way they needed.
So, it's in the dawning of this brand new spring, when my life is settled and happy once again that I find myself having to write a rather harshly toned piece on negativity. An odd way to start this spring. Odd and backwards from last year. In fact, a complete opposite. But I am truly and honestly sick of seeing negativity everywhere I go. I really starts to drain my soul, my heart, and my spirit. And after everything I have clawed my way out of and every nasty mud hole I've swum through, this negativity backlash is the last thing I want to see or hear. EVER.

It's Spreading

I have dedicated my life to helping others. This fulfills a need within myself. Feeds my soul. It's something that I receive joy from and I truly do it with happiness and love in my heart. I have given so much of my precious time to those in need and have donated, so to speak, so much of myself as well. And of course, as I've said in the past, I have had death threats and the like for being and doing who and what I am. But none of that ever really scared me off. But now....oh, now I must unleash a world of fury out on the negative people of this world before they drag me down into the "pity me" party of hell. It's funny how all the technology in this world, all the social media and networking we have, and there is still more negativity floating around than positivity. It's in my newsfeed on Facebook, it's in my email, my voicemail, my snailmail. It's in the conversations I over hear as I walk by, it's in the phone calls I get, the small talk with strangers, even the TV. I'm hitting a point where I have literally been avoiding so much. Rarely have my TV on anymore, never check my Facebook or email (which is bad because I run a support group and charity), ignore most phone calls if I know it's not important. I don't even check my voice mail. I've become hidden within my home, trying my hardest to lock out and hide from the negativity that is permeating from the whole of society as we know it. But it still gets to me, it still hits me like a pungent and rank stench from a dead and decaying life form. A dead zombie like monkey that has crawled upon my back and dangles it's rotten decaying flesh before my eyes. And little by little I can feel the anger, the resentment, and the pure hostility rise from the depths of the most putrid and dark corners of soul, feeding upon the each negative word, growing, consuming all that is light and good within me.

If You Can't Beat Em...

And as this darkness, this awful darkness, begins to crawl it's way to the surface I am forced to find a way to combat it, to bring the light and joy back before it consumes me fully and I am lost forever more. Today is my turning point. After letting all of this fester inside of me for weeks and working my brain into overtime trying to find some sort of miracle solution, it became evident and apparent to me that the solution was right before my eyes and finger tips the entire time. If you can't beat em, join em....right? Ah, but if I say that, it means I am accepting the monster within and becoming all that is dark and unholy. This is not me. Which is why I say the answer to my problem was simply before my fingertips. A master of words, I am, and I have used my words many times in many occasions as a shield and sword to defeat my enemy. This time is no different. All I need is a little twist, a little outside of the box type of thinking and every once of positivity that I can muster from the very naked and exposed part of my soul. I will fight negativity and fire with "negativity and "fire".

"Negative"

I hate my life. I hate every little tiny part of it. Waking up every morning to the light, whether cloudy or sunny shining through my window and scaring away the darkness is the worst feeling in the world. I hate that every time I see my boys climb out of their beds with messy bedhead, rubbing the sleep out of their eyes and saying "good morning mommy" brings warmth to my heart and a smile to my face. I can't stand it when I'm busy washing the dishes with the music blasting in my ears that I will always feel the little arms of my baby wrap around my legs in a strong embrace of love and that he will smack my butt and laugh before running away and waiting till I turn my back to do it again. It really gets to me that my oldest will come to me with every problem he has big or small with genuine heartfelt emotion knowing that I will always be there to give him a shoulder to cry on, a gentle push in the right direction and words of wisdom for him to carry for the rest of his life. Seeing the mess that accumulates in my home each week and having to clean it up knowing that we have had a great time, and have built strong bonds and made new and lasting memories causes me to twist and turn in pure anguish and pain. Smiling genuinely hurts my face and doesn't make me feel good at all. Holding a new baby, new life, in my arms and seeing how precious life can be makes me think of all the horrible deaths and is a constant reminder that life ends and really isn't worth living at all. Each time I hear my boys laugh and smile, and tell me how much they truly love me and that they will never stop makes me think of how nobody loves me and I'm all alone in the world. Woe is me. Pity me please, for my life is an ongoing struggle of pain and anguish. And I just can't see any happiness or joy in any part of my life at all. Make me feel like I'm worth something because I can't see where I'm needed or loved at all.

True Negative

That was my "negative". Here is the real negative in my life....the parts people rarely hear me ever talk about.
I've been beaten down, abused, and ripped apart. There are moments where I doubt my worth because of it. I have a massive list of fears that cause me anxiety and try to hold me down from living and enjoying my life. Each time I watch my boys walk out of my door and climb into my exes truck my heart breaks a little bit knowing that they are not being well taken care of and I can't protect them. When my boys come home and I can feel their sorrow, the life sucked from their beautiful twinkling eyes and they are a sobbing clinging mess I feel helpless and lost. And in those days, when they crawl into bed sad and exhausted I retire to my room to sit on the edge of my bed and weep silently, my hands covering my face. I weep because I feel hopeless and helpless. I weep because as a mother my goal is to protect and nurture my children and it kills me to see anyone harm them in any way especially when the roadblocks and obstacles in my way prevent me from being able to do much of anything. Although I'm doing much better now and don't have so many nightmares, there are still moments frozen in time where the monsters of my past, the horrors, the rapes, the beatings, everything I've seen that creep up on me and cause me to stop dead and return to a fetal position under my covers. And the worst, on any given day the sadness, the pain, the pure isolation of my soul tries it's hardest to tear me apart limb from limb and destroy any happiness in my life. It literally causes my chest to hurt, my bones to ache, my muscles to seize up and my head to throb and it takes every ounce of strength I have left to smile and get out of bed. The overwhelming and ever consuming loneliness that washes over me in those precise moments constantly and bitterly laughing in my ears.

Turn Around to Negative Thinking

I hope everyone can see the difference here. I know I can. It's the first list of negatives that erase the second list. And in all honesty, even if I did not have that first list....there is still something positive in each negative in the second list. I'm here. I'm alive. Each day I wake up with breath in my lungs, a heart beat in my chest. Even the worst memories are memories. They are me. They are what have made me who I am today. Yes, my heart breaks and I feel helpless and hopeless when my boys leave and are hurt, but with each tear, each moment I cry for them, it brings me joy to know such a love. To know that I would do anything in the world for them and the pain I'm feeling is a good thing to feel. The loneliness that creeps up on me, the sadness that tries to consume me tells me that I'm alive. It tells me that on the other side of this dark river of pain is someone slowly pulling my boat to shore. We are never alone, and even in our darkest hours there is always a hand reaching out to us. All we need to do is reach back.
But sadly, a good portion of the negativity I hear these days are not this type. They are in the merest sense of the word, ridiculous. They are purely pity parties. Moments that people sit and dwell on things and feel sorry for themselves. They don't want to hear the good, they don't want positive energy and help. They want to feel pitied. They want to wallow in their sorrows and drag others down with them. This is the negativity that really ticks me off. I see so often, people whining about such small things, like "I lost my bank card" or "so and so didn't show up and didn't message me, they don't respect me" and even "my husband didn't buy me flowers...what an ass, never does crazy romantic stuff. He doesn't love me". "I'm all alone, I'm fat, my husband divorced me 8 years ago and nobody will ever love me and I'm stuck sitting on my couch alone in the dark with my cat on a friday night. Pity me." And yes, I will admit that as I write these I am somewhat sarcastically speaking them out loud. Because to me, this is just so ridiculous. I have little empathy, sympathy, and even remorse left at this point for this type of negativity. Although I do my best to hear them out, and give words of encouragement I get little but negative comments in return. Things like "you don't know how I feel" or "Your life is perfect, what do you know about misery" and the biggest one...and I'll admit the hardest for me to wrap my head around "You are beautiful and gorgeous and everyone wants you, you have no right to tell me to see positive. You've never known misery or loneliness, you can get anybody you want". I really don't understand where my physical appearance fits into someone's negativity, or my trying to help them, but yes, this is the most frequent type of rebuttal I get.
So this is my sword and shield against it all. This is my words to all negative people out there. Take a good look at both lists....read them carefully. Then sit down and make your own lists. Beside each real negative thought write down something positive about it. I guarantee that at the end of it, you will see that your life really isn't that bad. You will realize that a great deal of this "negativity" you feel is your own fault. Your own brain computing everything in a black way instead of outside in the sunshine. Yes, there is true negative out there, I won't dispute that. I've seen it, I've lived it, I've read it. It's there, but there is ALWAYS something positive hiding behind it. And if there isn't, there will be something positive that will eventually come out of it. I promise you that. I swear on my entire life and soul that I am one hundred percent correct here.
And if you don't want to find anything positive, if you really just want pity and sympathy, stop wasting my time, and others. Life is so damn short. It's gone in the blink of an eye. No matter how long a day feels, or a week, or a month, or even a year....in the grand scheme of things, the time is nothing. It's a small insignificant grain of sand in the grandest hourglass of time. Life is really what we make of it, and when we die, we leave behind what we created. If you create negative, if you live within your negative, you leave it behind when you go. You will forever be remembered as that person that couldn't love themselves. If this sounds harsh, or mean, it's meant to be. It's tough love on my part. Everyone deserves to smile, to feel joy, to be happy, and we are given our lives to feel this. To feel ALL of it, negative, positive, joy and sorrow. We are given our very lives so that we can LIVE.
We all have struggles, we all have pasts, every one of us has felt loss, pain, sorrow, emptiness, loneliness. We've all been there. But we've also all felt love, joy, happiness. It really is how we face our negative that changes our positive. I can't live my life constantly being dragged down by others negativity. I can't continue to give of myself if it won't help. And this is a sad thought for me. I want nothing more than to see happiness and joy spread from person to person. I know it's wishful thinking, and I'm well aware that the whole idea of world peace, is insanity. And I'm really not asking for that. I'm asking that everyone take a moment to really look at their lives, to really face themselves in the mirror and calculate whether your negativity is really worth holding on to. Or if possibly, there's a chance to be happy and positive.
We can't change our pasts, we can't control what happens in each moment of our lives, and we certainly can't control how others treat us or view us. But we can control how we perceive it. How we react to it, and how we process it. Things WILL go wrong in your life, there will be bad times, there will be struggles, and yes, there will be times of pain and sorrow. I will never dispute that. And I will never trivialize that either. But there's a big difference between those negatives (the second list), and the other "negatives" (the first list). It's time people realize that.

Tags

Negative, Negative Attitude, Negative Thinking, Negativity, Positive Outlook, Positive Reading, Positive Thinking, Positive Thoughts, Positivity

Meet the author

author avatar Empress
I write and have published poetry and was editor of the school newspaper all through highschool. I can write a variety of different genres from articles to novels

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Comments

author avatar Lady Aiyanna
15th Mar 2014 (#)

Let's Start with you Empress, what are your negative qualities.
He who is blameless cast the first stone.
You are no saint, your name suggests it, you are a control freak.

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author avatar Empress
15th Mar 2014 (#)

Lady Aiyanna, I would assume that you are of course christian, or religious in some way given your reference to a bible quote and some of your writing that I have seen on some of my other pieces. If I am correct than should you not live by "judge not lest ye be judged"? And is it in fact the idea that you are judging me and pointing the finger straight at me by calling me down? And....in fact all saints have a past, and every sinner has a future. Not to mention that even saints are not perfect, no one is. I do not judge anyone, nor do I claim to be a saint, perfect or any thing otherwise than who I am. The fact that you would say I am no saint gives a possible reference to some hidden insecurity of your own.
He who is blameless cast the first stone....I know the story. Jesus told a crowd of people that when they were about to stone a woman to death, a whore in their eyes. Since you have cast the first stone...you are blameless? Don't mistake me for a fool or a saint. I am neither. Nor will I stand by and allow anyone to call me out and judge me and try to stone me to death. I wish you well, but please, let me be. You are no saint yourself!! And be careful, hiding in your glass house whilst throwing stones is a dangerous endeavor

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author avatar Fern Mc Costigan
16th Mar 2014 (#)

Interesting post!

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author avatar Mark Gordon Brown
16th Mar 2014 (#)

It is easy to delete offensive comments rather than to fight back, you win if you ignore and delete them.

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