No Debut

ilamites By ilamites, 27th Aug 2012 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Essays

A blog entry (formerly posted in multiply.com) explaining to my friends why I did not plan out a 18th birthday party.

(October 20, 2007)

It's almost 2008...and Mae (Urquiola) and sweetest (that's Jamie De Guzman) asked me if I would have a debut just like any normal girl turning 18 would...
Di na kayo nasanay ha?...I'm not normal, hahahahaha....I'm abnormal? paranormal?..basta, you know I'm not normal...
and just like what I have told jamie in a long ym session then, I will tell you now that no matter what you do, you can not get me in a gown and listen to an 18 stuff list all night on a day in a month next year...{sa mga hindi nakaka-alam ng birthday ko..tsss..kidding =) }
1. It is expensive.
Crap, I wont waste tens of thousands of my parents' income for three gowns, a hotel reservation, buffet food, souvenirs and fancy service for M-E. That's like blowing my siblings' tuition money for a night.
If you have money, that's great. Good for you. Celebrate the momentous event. Problem is I don't.
I belong to a well to do family. We live in BF Parañaque BY CHANCE (because this is where the Santiago's land sets). My dad does have a company but it does CONTRACTUAL work, there is no regular monthly or "quince-nas" salary.
And besides, I went to UP because we need to save up and having my debut will defeat that, right?
2. It pressures your friends more than you could imagine.
How so, you say?
In every debut I have been through with 18 stuff formalities, there never was once a quiet night. There were always complaints and demands for me to help them think about WHAT TO WEAR, GIVE and SAY. Some people give dress themes that's hard to fill in. And some people would not wear the same thousand peso cocktail dress or stiletto twice. And the debut speeches. 18 shots, 18 treasures, 18 memories, 18 candles... "I mean, you bought the gift, you chose the song, you chose the tequila over red wine, you are friends with so and so for a different reason, why ask me? Not to be mean or anything. Its just that I really do not have any idea about what you were thinking when you did what you did, so personally, I can;t answer for you.." This is what goes through my head all night since most people are more persistent that you'd expect in posh events like these.
And I wouldn't want my friends to have unplanned jitters or be bothered by other people for their speeches. I wouldn't put you through either horrors.
3. It's a norm with strings attached.
The preparations, the practices, handing out invitations, making sure everything is in place on hell month is unimaginable.
Plus, I'm trying to be a non conformist. And what's so special with 18? Okay, so you're legally an adult now. Okay, it means yes to license, yes to drinking and what have you... But doesn't it mean heavier consequences too? No more grounding (thats good) but you HAVE to have "adult's" worries now (read: THE WORLD). Now I'd like to see you take that on excitedly! =)
(I'm not complaining about getting older and maturing. I'm complaining about my adult worries in advance..hahahaha)
and finally...
4. I know what I'm getting and what I'm missing.
Those who got older ahead of me (just recently, read:jackie, ritz..hehehehe HAPPY BIRTHDAY JACKIE and RITZ!!!) keep on insisting I go and have one hell of a party. They were even sweet enough to volunteer and plan for it. They said their debuts were events they would never forget. They said it feels different to be acknowledged by everyone in your family and all your friends and (para sa meron..ahem) bf/gf for everything you are to them. It feels light. And all these things are great and there is nothing wrong about wanting all things fantastic and wonderful.
But still, stubborn little Mita said no. At baket naman?
I might miss the moments that they word all these things out exactly. But I know, even without them saying, that we are good friends. Good enough to last years. Years of dancing, debating, writing, malling, watching movies, arcades, road trips, concerts, eat outs, sleep overs and the list goes on.That we have good family relations for couples and families to stay together for decades.
I don't need to hear them anymore. I know. That is why I am grateful. Thank you. And I already feel so great everyday for having of you...NAKS! YES, YOU (your name here)!
so I don't need or want that debut. Not in a million years Travel nlang tayo. Or attend a gig or visit art galleries or a museum somewhere.
so, sa _____ _ _ ha?... sino sama sa'ken? =)

Tags

Birthday Party, Debut, Debutante, Growing, Legal, Maturing

Meet the author

author avatar ilamites
I'm a UP Manila BS Public Health degree. I dance and write a lot. I have scary big dreams. My materials would mostly be on either politics, arts or personal queries.

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