Ode to Fern

Phyl CampbellStarred Page By Phyl Campbell, 24th May 2014 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/xzbvszxg/
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Poetry

This is an ode to Fern Mc Costigan, who writes wonderful travel articles about various Fine Wines to Discover. I don't drink wine, and never know how to comment, but I think I finally found some words.

Background

Fern Mc Gostigan writes travel articles about fine wines. He must be quite the expert. Meanwhile, I don't know Jim Beam from Sam Adams or Brandy from Sherry, but I think they must all be nice people, because they seem to be at every party.

Instead, when I hear the word "wine," I homophonically return to being a first grader laying on the floor on a thin towel at "naptime" while our teacher played On Top of Spaghetti and Jeremiah Was a Bullfrog on the record player. (No, we didn't sleep much. Who would peg Jeremiah as a lullaby? Or even a quiet time song?)

I hope Fern will not be offended, as I do intend this ode to honor his fine work on the subject of wine, regardless of my complete lack of knowledge on the subject.

I originally tried to make this a homophonic piece for my collection, but decided to be kind. Feel free, all my homophonic friends, to adapt this to fit your personal brand of homophonia. In the meantime, here goes:

Ode to Fern

My disk covers are covered with whine fines.
And I'm saddened to learn I've no cheese.
I looked for the loaves I was bred for,
And lost my meatball when somebody sneezed.

So I whine for the wine I have wasted,
And cry over milk that I've spilt.
And drown in a river of sorrows,
Frustration and anger and guilt.

Songs Get Stuck

To top it all off I have Frozen
Songs running around in my head.
Summer beckons but winter and snowmen
And more Arkansas weather comes instead!

Hurricanes have their Miami,
Booze not New Orleans' sole vice.
LA's earthquakes and Flagstaff's wild (or set) fires
Are every bit naughty -- not nice!

Weather and Climate

I don't know about other cities
If there is even one place in the land
That the climate -- the weather and bitties
Are as perfect as my son THINKS I am!

Oh, wait, no, my son was just teasing
He thinks I'm a dork with no prayer
And says that his father's no better
So that's it, that's all, SO THERE!

Understanding

Maybe if I understood fine wines
Fern's got so much teaching to do
As Fern shows us Fine Wines to Discover
And I try to pretend I've a clue.

Thank You Fern!!!

Fern, thank you so much for teaching us about Fine Wines to Discover. I may be clueless, but I know I am in the minority!

To everyone else: if my homophonic references leave you scratching your head, please direct your attention to Fun With Homophones:

#1
#2
#3
#4


If you feel left out of the homophonia craze, please check out Something for Everybody.

Please enjoy my poems. I do!

I'll be doing more book critiques very soon. In the meantime, if you are interested in critiquing MY BOOKS, visit my webpage to DISCOVER Mother Confessor (books 1 and 2), The Carley Patrol, and/or Martha's Chickens and the Pirates!

Tags

Fern Mc Gostian, Fine Wines To Discover, Funny, Humor, Poetry

Meet the author

author avatar Phyl Campbell
I am "Author, Mother, Dreamer." I am also teacher, friend, Dr. Pepper addict, night-owl. Visit my website -- phylcampbell.com -- or the "Phyl Campbell Author Page" on Facebook.

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Comments

author avatar Steve Kinsman
24th May 2014 (#)

Very nice tribute to a deserving wikinut writer, Phyl. Great work.

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author avatar Phyl Campbell
24th May 2014 (#)

Thanks, Steve!

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author avatar MarilynDavisatTIERS
24th May 2014 (#)

Good afternoon, Phyl, this is wonderful ! I don't comment on Fern's as I'm in recovery; I probably knew Jim Beam Sam Adams, Jose, Brandy and Sherry too well :) However, the other thing I know is that Fern is a part of our community and we are fortunate to have someone like her writing for Wikinut. Good job. ~Marilyn

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author avatar Phyl Campbell
24th May 2014 (#)

Hi Marilyn! Thanks, and I agree! Fern's such a positive presence on my pages, I had to post a poetic piece! ;)

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author avatar cnwriter..carolina
24th May 2014 (#)

Yes...wonderful indeed this...Fern is the best and so glad that she and I and you are friends here on this great site...blessings....

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author avatar cnwriter..carolina
24th May 2014 (#)

love the poetry too!!

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author avatar Phyl Campbell
24th May 2014 (#)

Thanks Carolina!!

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author avatar Lady Aiyanna
25th May 2014 (#)

Sent a former duggu out to play with rafiki in Silver Fern Land. Stayed home with my duggus and quite happily with a smile on face.

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author avatar Phyl Campbell
25th May 2014 (#)

Thanks for the nutpoints.

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author avatar Lady Aiyanna
25th May 2014 (#)

They got stuck I just played on making my own music. Take care...

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author avatar Williamsji
25th May 2014 (#)

A good verse on Fern. Well deserved. Congrats
Regards & Love
WILLIAMSJI MAVELI

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author avatar Phyl Campbell
25th May 2014 (#)

Thanks, WILLIAMSJI!

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author avatar Mark Gordon Brown
25th May 2014 (#)

I actually do like a glass of wine every now and then (I mean about 2-3 times a year) but my wife says I do not shut up if I have too much and because I do not drink often it seems that one glass may be too much- but yes Fern is a great member of the Wikinut community and the wine reviews are terrific.

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author avatar Phyl Campbell
25th May 2014 (#)

Thanks, Mark, for the comment, star, and mod.

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author avatar vellur
25th May 2014 (#)

Great tribute to a great writer! I love reading her reviews on wine even though I do not drink wine. Her reviews make wines come to life! Great write.

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author avatar Phyl Campbell
25th May 2014 (#)

Thanks, vellur!

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
25th May 2014 (#)

Interesting and humorous post, Phyl. I know of only two types of wines - the white and the red, so I feel inadequate to comment on wines which Fern is such a connoisseur of. I have commented on her other posts though - siva

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author avatar Phyl Campbell
26th May 2014 (#)

Ha ha Siva! Perhaps I am not in the minority I thought I was! !

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author avatar Teila Tankersley
25th May 2014 (#)

Very nice piece, fun and interesting.

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author avatar Phyl Campbell
26th May 2014 (#)

Thanks Teila. Always nice to see a new face!

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author avatar Connie McKinney
26th May 2014 (#)

I'm not much of a drinker. However, I am impressed with how much Fern knows about wine. What a nice tribute to Fern.

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author avatar Phyl Campbell
27th May 2014 (#)

Thanks Connie! Good to see you here again!

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author avatar Kingwell
27th May 2014 (#)

You have a way with words. Good Job.

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author avatar Phyl Campbell
27th May 2014 (#)

Thanks, Kingwell!

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author avatar Fern Mc Costigan
27th May 2014 (#)

My dear Phyl I dont have words for the kind words as well post in my nae, wow. I love the Jeremiah part one of my favorite songs from three dog night, indeed I meet all of tose chaps you mentioned, I am speechlees, I thank you and each one of my colleagues that I have learned a lot in my wiritngs and use as an exmaple in You, Caro, Steve, lady A why not!, Connie, Carol, Heln and I can go forever babay,. All of you have generated a criterum as well wisdom in wirting you are my favorites and idols in tis wonderful post, God Blees Phyl, by the way loves I am a Bhoy not a girl! My name is Ferdinand but bot the bull LOL! Thanks my dear and and one and only Phyl for such a great masterpiece! Fern was a bullfrog he was friend of mine, he always had mighty fine wine, joy to Wikinuts mates!!!

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author avatar Feisty
27th May 2014 (#)

So fun and a nice tribute to Fern!

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author avatar Phyl Campbell
27th May 2014 (#)

Fern my apologies! One would think as a female Phyl I would know better!!

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author avatar Phyl Campbell
27th May 2014 (#)

Thanks Fiesty! !

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author avatar Phyl Campbell
27th May 2014 (#)

Fern, I have made the gender-related changes and reposted. Again, my apologies!

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author avatar Fern Mc Costigan
28th May 2014 (#)

Hakuna Matata my dear Phyl no need to apologized, thats what friends are for Ferdiand or Fernando I like to be called Fern

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author avatar Ptrikha
30th May 2014 (#)

A Nice ode to a fellow Wikinut writer.

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author avatar Phyl Campbell
30th May 2014 (#)

Thanks, Ptrikha, it was loads of fun to write.

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author avatar n.c.radomes
30th May 2014 (#)

PHYL, thanks for doing a remarkable tribute to Fern the wine authority. For quite a time I've known him as a he; he called me Pare or Pre, and if not mistaken he has a Filipino blood in him flowing. When Carolina and vellur addressed him as a she, my ears perked up and calmed down as suddenly when Fern said he's a 'bhoy'. Congrats Pare for this once in a lifetime tribute. God bless!

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author avatar Phyl Campbell
31st May 2014 (#)

Thanks, n.c!

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